Tag: Old Vintage Retro Stuff

What did we do before cell phones? The 1977 JC Penny Catalog informs us.

Before cell phones, we had both hands free for the majority of the time. It’s funny how quickly we forget the times before cell phones – when you actually had to be at a place that had a phone to use it, and sometimes you even had to ask if you could use it.

But, I’m more concerned with our hands. Nowadays most people in public are using one or both of their hands to talk or play on their phone. What did we do with ourselves before that? I’ll tell you.

Men wore robes and coats every day, and always used the pockets.

Women, ever so lightly, ever so deftly, used one hand to caress their collars.

 

I Knew That Looked Familiar

If you watch The Walking Dead, you know that a mysterious hooded figure with two zombies chained to her showed up at the end of the season finale:

You might have been thinking to yourself, “that looks really familiar, I’ve seen that before, somewhere, but for some reason, when I think about the other place I’ve seen it, I feel the need for a peppermint.” That is completely normal. What you are thinking of is my favorite figurine ever, of which I wrote a blog post about when I was the only one who saw my blog:

It’s exactly the same! Except, instead of a katana sword, she has a giant candy cane, and instead of zombies, she has lil santas. And, after thinking long and hard about it, I STILL think my figurine is creepier. However, with a little magic, I think this probably puts the Walking Dead image in first place:

P.S. If you would like to learn more about my weird lady with two chained Santas figurine, here is the original post.

Hot dog! and I don’t agree on what “wrong” means.

Tom and I found this old issue of the kid’s magazine “Hot dog!” from 1984 at a thrift store. We paid 25 cents for it because who wouldn’t?

I didn't read the Garfield article.

Inside they had a “figure out what’s wrong in this picture” thingy. According to them, there was seven things wrong. “EASY!” I yelled to myself, and quickly found all seven:

1. The ladybug isn’t seasonally appropriate and doesn’t have a coat on.
2. That guy calls “Inception” “The Inception” and no one will correct him.
3. The signature in the snow isn’t yellow.
4. She’s giving everyone the bird under that mitten.
5. She’s an award-winning ice skater and is only falling to get attention.
6. He’s putting on a brave happy face even though his parents are getting a divorce.
7. Mice don’t wave.

I didn’t get a single one right. I call bullshit. I saw the “No Ice Fiching” sign, but I learned spelling from Super Friends, so I figured it was fine.

Hot Dog and I also don’t agree on what the word “fooled” means:

You are missing a layer of premise, Hot dog!. Stupid Hot dog!. You’d need to do something like steal your friend’s wallet or shank them while they’re busy spelling if you wanted to fool them. This is more a “make your friend think you’re weird” gag.

 

1975 – A good year for creepy children and Corduroy.

As you may already know, I like to look through old catalogs on wishbookweb.com. I genuinely like doing it, so please don’t comfort yourself by thinking that I look at them so I can make fun of them later. That’s just a bonus.

This weekend, my catalog of choice was the 1975 Sears Catalog. It was a good year for catalogs. The plaids, mustard yellows, burnt oranges, and avocado greens were plentiful and the bottoms were belled. Here’s what I found:

Have you ever seen a more depressing image in a catalog? These two clearly did NOT want Winnie the Pooh jogging suits for Christmas.
I find this picture frightening. I feel like these children are threatening me with the way Pooh's head is on the floor and they are eating his innards. And the look on their faces doesn't help, either.
What is this? Some kind of messed up training for future Eyes Wide Shut parties? These are pajamas, not costumes. Children who wear creepy masks to bed should not be marketed to in Sears catalogs. And, if they are the spawn of Satan, you can't even fight them off with fire because the pajamas are flame resistant.

Finally, I was really surprised when I fake turned the page and saw world-famous 1970’s-early 80s supermodel Corduroy featured on the pages.

What he was doing in the Sears catalog, and how they could have afforded him is a mystery. As we all know, he quickly shot to fame and was on the cover of dozens of high-profile magazines.

Until, of course his untimely death – brought down by the excesses of being a famous one-name 1970s supermodel.

R.I.P. Corduroy.

Man, I Hate it When That Happens

You’re going about your day, running some errands, and, all of a sudden, a gust of wind simultaneously blows up your skirt and your underwear drops. This must happen pretty often considering there were two different paintings depicting the embarrassing turn of events at the local antique shop:

Obviously, it doesn’t happen to these two very often, as they look completely surprised that the size underpants they chose were so loose, they fell to the floor against incoming winds.

You know the day chivalry died? When these ladies’ panties dropped and neither the construction guy, or the bus driver (OR the painter) offered to take their bag of groceries so they could right themselves. The nerve!