They are not friends, stupid shirt.

I was in a thrift store the other day looking through the t-shirts, and this one caught my eye:

What in the hell is this? Tom and Jerry best friends forever? Excuse me? Surrounded by hearts and flowers with loving smiles on their faces? Unless this shirt is from some alternate dimension (in which case I should have bought it as it might be worth something), the people that came up with this shirt either don’t know who Tom and Jerry are or they expect the young demographic to not know. Boys and girls and/or t-shirt makers: Tom the cat has been trying to kill and eat Jerry the mouse since 1940. Sure, sometimes they may reluctantly, temporarily set their differences aside to foil a dog here and there, but that doesn’t make them best friends by any stretch of the imagination. THEY DELIGHT IN CAUSING THE OTHER HARM. Delight, I tell you!

But, you know what? Maybe, for the sake of a buck, I’m willing to ignore narrative, character, and nature and embrace this foolishness. These are obviously rough drafts, they’ll need to be cleaned up by someone more talented than me, but I think the idea is there. I want my damn millions:

Just like Tom and Jerry, but in real life! I bet these two are both running to help a third friend, maybe a hippopotamus.

Actually, this isn’t far from the truth. The Walking Dead? More like The Walking FRIENDS!

Luke Skywalker and The Emperor in Star Wars were the Marty McFly and Doc Brown of space.

Buffalo Bill and Catherine Martin were total besties! BB helped Catherine with her beauty regime (lotion) and organization of beauty products (keep lotion in a basket so you always know where it is)!

The Wizard of Oz was full of friendship. But you can also make a t-shirt out of this stuff.

If I Didn’t Already Know I was a Giant Nerd

My birthday was yesterday. I share my birthday with the whole earth, which, as an introvert, is pretty nice because I can just hang back while the earth gets all the attention.

On the occasions where I get multiple presents (mainly my birthday and Christmas), sometimes the stars align and I get a haul of the things I truly wanted and like. Not stupid clothes, or dumb stuff I need, but things that reflect the kind of person I am, which is a humongous immature nerd.

Yesterday was a reminder that not only am I a humongous immature nerd, but I was lucky to find another one to marry.

Exhibit A: We decided to go grab some lunch. Right before we left, Tom filled up his mug with the last of his coffee and we got in the car. He placed his coffee mug in it’s holder, and next to it sat my big-ass mug that lives in my car, which I drink water from because I’m a non-coffee drinking square:

Exhibit B: Tom bought me something that he thought might be more for him than me, and to acknowledge this possibility, he decorated the wrapping paper:

This is a Simpsons reference.

I opened my presents (some from Tom, some from my Mom, and Mom’s gifts were part of the reason the haul seemed especially nerdy; she usually gets me the less eccentric things I ask for). I stepped back and took in the sight of my spoils, and it was good.

1, The Mighty Boosh, the complete series DVD
2. Twin Peaks, complete series DVD (this was the one wrapped in a Simpsons reference)
3. The Joke Shop from the Department 56 A Christmas Story village
4. A Christmas Story leg lamp Christmas lights
5. A birdhouse in the shape of Mad Hatter’s hat from the Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”
6. Book 6 of The Walking Dead
7. A lottery ticket. If I win, obviously the money will be spent on many nerdy endeavors.

Do liking any of these individual things make me a giant nerd? No. Even though you might think they would, they wouldn’t. It is the volume of it that makes me a giant nerd. You get a Mad Hatter birdhouse, some sensible slacks, a pair of earrings, and a blender, and it just doesn’t say the same thing when it’s paired with these six other things. I did get a 12″ frying pan, so my mom got me one traditionally useful thing. But, I plan on using it as a weapon during the inevitable zombie take-over as much as I plan to make scrambled eggs in it.

This haul was also a nice reflection of the nerd balance I like to strike in my life. A Christmas Story and Alice in Wonderland needs to be paired with a dead teenager wrapped in plastic and the zombie apocalypse. Life is about variety, am I right?

I Knew That Looked Familiar

If you watch The Walking Dead, you know that a mysterious hooded figure with two zombies chained to her showed up at the end of the season finale:

You might have been thinking to yourself, “that looks really familiar, I’ve seen that before, somewhere, but for some reason, when I think about the other place I’ve seen it, I feel the need for a peppermint.” That is completely normal. What you are thinking of is my favorite figurine ever, of which I wrote a blog post about when I was the only one who saw my blog:

It’s exactly the same! Except, instead of a katana sword, she has a giant candy cane, and instead of zombies, she has lil santas. And, after thinking long and hard about it, I STILL think my figurine is creepier. However, with a little magic, I think this probably puts the Walking Dead image in first place:

P.S. If you would like to learn more about my weird lady with two chained Santas figurine, here is the original post.

Patient zero just told herself waiting one more day to change the litter box won’t make a difference.

I’m about 3/4 through reading World War Z. I’m loving this book and I can’t wait to see how it’s adapted for the screen. It’s making me contemplate what kind of person or circumstance may cause the patient zero zombie when the zombie outbreak inevitably happens in real life. Theories:

  • Booger eater
  • Cleaning the Gutters – strange things amass in those gutters between cleanings
  • Kristen Stewart, she’s a heartbeat (or lack of) away from becoming a zombie
  • Silica gel pack ingestion
  • Any person on My Strange Addiction – you can’t eat ashes and pillow cushions and not be one bite away from a walker
  • Someone finally waits too long to change a litter box
  • Skinny jeans and jeggings constrict blood flow to the brain, killing all but the wanting-to-devour-live-humans part
  • There’s got to be a worse consequence for running with scissors than just a simple impalement
  • Strobe lights
  • Somebody’s gonna make a wish and it’s going to be misinterpreted by the genie. Something like, “I want to live forever because I love food and never want to stop eating it.”
  • Grapples, I don’t trust them
  • One time, at a flea market, there was a bunch of boxes filled with toys. I was sifting through it, and I found a rusty saw. I think if I had hit the rusty saw end first, and not the handle, I may have been patient zero
  • Mega jet lag
  • We run out of things to fry, and people are the only thing left to try
  • Coconut candy, obviously

What else? I know I’ve missed some.

Pop Culture Roundup II

On the right of this blog is an Amazon affiliate banner. Yes, it’s an affiliate link, but it’s also a little list of the things I’ve been watching at any given time, like a lazy, non-personal journal. It’s over that way ======>

But, I also like to occasionally talk about what I’ve seen, and so here’s some of the stuff I’ve watched over the last few weeks:

Things I Hadn’t Seen Before:

1. Downton Abbey. Everyone kept blabbing about how good it was, and it’s generally not my kind of thing, but if something’s good, and it’s taking a segment of the population by storm, sometimes I feel left out. So, Tom and I watched the whole first season (or “series” if you’re British) over a weekend. It’s pretty addictive. It caused a few tweets from me:

Although, I have to say, the second season is getting a little too far fetched for me (we’re watching it as it’s being shown on PBS). I feel like unrealistic decisions are being made by the characters for the sake of suspense and tension. And, quiet suppressed emotion really does drive me up the wall eventually. Just say what you’re thinking, for God’s sake! It reminds me of this Eddie Izzard bit:

2. REC Spanish zombies! I liked this movie. It’s only 78 minutes long, and you know what? It doesn’t need to be any longer. It has very good pacing, and considering the situation the characters are put it, things move swiftly, as they should. The movie was re-made in America – Quarantine – essentially shot-for-shot. I haven’t seen Quarantine, but I can’t imagine there’s anything in it that would improve upon REC.

3. The Public Enemy  I’d never seen a James Cagney movie before. I thought it was time. Good lord does he have charisma. It was made in 1931, so it does have early film pacing, those kinds of awkward beats that seem like a play is being filmed, if that makes sense. Jean Harlow, who I love in Dinner at Eight, hasn’t quite gotten her style together yet. She reads her lines in of the strangest cadences I’ve ever heard. The DVD we watched had a whole segment featuring Martin Scorsese explaining why The Public Enemy is one of his favorite movies, and THAT I really loved.

4. Big Trouble in Little China I loved this so much. You know what the best thing about this movie is? The fact that the whole plot makes no sense but Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) has no idea what’s going on, either, and he just goes with the flow, so you do, too. Kurt Russell is so good in this movie. I found a compilation of Jack Burton being confused about what the hell is happening and it made me laugh all over again.

Things I Had Seen:

1. Spinal Tap  The local theater showed this the other week, so I got to see if for the first time on a big screen. We own this movie on DVD. The DVD has commentary from Spinal Tap in-character and it’s hilarious. It’s like a second movie. There’s so many good moments in this movie. My favorite is the entire Stonehenge segment, but it’s just filled wall to wall with jokes.

What have you seen lately that you loved?