We went to some antique shops this past weekend, and I strolled past this beauty, which I would have bought in a second if it wasn’t $30:
Do not ever, ever, accept candy from a zombie. I know this is basic stuff you learn in pre-school, but it’s never too late for a reminder. Also, do not ever, ever, accept candy named “Zombies.” While they may only advertise the coconut, rum, and imitation rum (mmmm), we ALL know what the secret ingredient must be.
You know what’s extra awesome about this? I would be SAFE! Why? Because I hate coconut.
And, in case you weren’t sufficiently frightened – this was an empty tin, which means several people are already infected, or, if it was someone like me with control issues, but loved coconut, one person is already infected.
22 thoughts on “This is how Zombie Disease is Spread”
Is ‘imitation rum’ code word for brains? Gosh, I think I fear the combination of imitation rum and coconut more than I do zombies. Coconut is NOT the food of the gods. Nasty, nasty stuff.
Sounds like you and I will be fighting zombies together due to our mutual dislike of coconut.
I hate coconut, too! Good news. Phew. Take that, zombie infection.
It will be a blogger army against the zombies! Which is good since we’ll probably need something to do when the internet inevitably goes out.
thank cybernetics I’m part robot and dogest crap like that.
Many years ago. during the dark period known as my horro movie marriage, I was in the Cayman Islands and visited the Hell, the town/store. No it’s not where I got my first wife, but it’s no coincidence we ended up there.
There’s something called Hell jelly. I refused to taste it but the person I was with, did…the rest is history.
HA! I like the quote of the guy in the article “I can’t stand the heat!”
I’m glad you’re no longer suffering the side-effects of Hell jelly.
I think I would end up giving in…. I can’t resist candy.
I usually can’t, either, unless it’s coconut, cherry and cherry-related red goop, or black licorice. For the record, I would feel bad about decapitating you.
Not a fan of coconut, however, I am a fan of pina coladas. Kind of like how I don’t like tomatoes but love tomato sauce? So, depending on what the candies tasted like, I might be doomed.
Although, it also begs the question . . . if there is rum in it, why do you need imitation rum? Is rum not rum flavored enough? Odd.
Oh, and you totally should have tried to talk them down from that $30 price tag. You prbably could have gotten it for a steal . . . like $23 or something!
I don’t know, I was also worried even touching it might transmit Zombie disease.
I also have the tomato/tomato sauce issue. I think it’s odd they advertised the imitation rum on the front of the tin. “Oh, it’s got imitation rum in it? Then pass those over, I will have one after all!”
I’m safe. I think coconut tastes like tanning lotion smells, and although I like the smell, I don’t want to eat it.
Vodka has no smell. Coincidence? I think not.
I don’t really mind the smell, either. I hate the texture. I’d also be safe if it were spread through coffee, which I hate the smell AND taste of.
I prefer mine with almonds.
I’ll miss you, non-zombie El Guapo.
Man, what if brains tasted like coconut? I would be one disappointed zombie.
DOUBLE WIN!!! Coconut is delicious. You’ll discover that after the change.
Or so I’ve been told…
Never! If I hold any of my current personality, I will be the grumpiest coconut-flavored brain eating zombie, ever.
Maybe we’re all looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps it is best to be one of the first zombies so you have the best selection of food sources. Like the poor bastards who get in on the pyramid scheme last, they’re aren’t any suckers left when it’s time to get your cut. Where can I get some Zombies candy?
Well, and if you were one of the first zombies, you’d probably live a little longer because everyone would be so confused at first. You could also be a local celebrity as the first zombie in your town.
That is so awesome I would have shelled out the thirty bucks.
You sure that wasn’t MADE out of zombie parts from Haiti or something?
I don’t know, I was afraid to touch it to examine it further. Plus it was delicately balanced on top of a fragile vase which was probably propped on a stack of old jigsaw puzzle boxes on top of a rickety table. If anything went wrong in getting it down, I’d have been out more than $30, and potentially become a zombie.
I was probably the one that ate those. I’m a sucker for imitation rum.
You seem to be holding up well. How many brains have you eaten?