While shopping online, I found this ornament:
It’s a ball of “exotic fur” that would go on your Christmas tree because we haven’t found enough things to make out of dead animals.
But, what if you don’t have $36 for whatever the hell that thing is, and want something like it? That’s what I’m here for.
I’ve come up with two humane ways to reproduce this glorious holiday accessory for little to no money. The chinchillas and/or rats will thank you for your willingness to craft equally beautiful hair-related ornaments.
Project 1: I Just Got My Hair Cut Ornament
Supplies: 1. Lint roller 2. Hair
Directions:
1. Go get your hair cut.
2. Have the following conversation with the nice lady at the salon:
You (bending down with a plastic bag): I’m taking my hair. It’s, uh, for a project.
Lady: Oh! Ok. Is it for your garden?
You: ………………………………………yes.
Pray that you do not open up a conversation about gardens and hair because you kinda heard that once but have no idea about the details of why people put hair in gardens.
3. Have the hair sit around your house in a bag on the kitchen counter because you are a big procrastinating freak.
4. Spread hair out onto a white paper towel.
5. Roll lint roller around in it.
6. Tie a piece of rope to the convenient hole in the handle.
7. Voila! You have a festive, humane ornament with goddamn hair on it, just like you always wanted.
Project 2: Celebrity “Hair” Ornament
Supplies: 1. Lint roller 2. Print out of pictures of a celebrity whose hair will work for this project. 3. Optional festive ribbon.
1. Print out your chosen picture.
2. Cut out the hair part.
3. Wrap the hair parts around the lint roller (I also used some tape to really get the look I “wanted”).
4. Add festive ribbon.
5. Voila! You now have an ornament that says “I printed out pictures of Donald Trump and stuck them onto a lint roller.”
You could also achieve the same effect with your pet’s hair if you have enough of it. Or, you could find some roadkill and attach a festive ribbon to it. However you do it, the end result will be that you didn’t spend $36 on a ball of hair, and that to me, is the very essence of what the holidays are all about.
Can I use the hairball from my drain? Too gross?
I’m in no position to make a call on the grossness scale here. I say go for it.
Now that’s what I call Christmas brilliance. I sort of want to eat them.
That’s an extreme reaction to having baked too many cookies.
Wow! That Donald Trump Hair Lint Roller Ornament just screams festive Christmas decoration!! And so economical, too. Thank you so much, Carrie, for saving me all the money I was about to waste on an authentic chinchilla ornament. You have saved my Christmas!
It was my year to save Christmas, my name was drawn out of the hat.
And now I’m very happy I don’t celebrate Christmas.
Oh, and hair for the garden? really?
Yes: http://www.ehow.com/how_7708696_putting-keep-deer-away-vegetables.html
Although it sounds like something a serial killer would do, and probably discovered it.
Just passing through again, hair ornament still up. Yep, still freaked out by it…
Rubber necking a blog post!
I don’t think it works to deter deer. You can compost hair though – you know, after you’re done making ornaments out of it.
Even better tip for serial killers.
You have such an interesting brain. I really, really like that about you.
Thanks! It’s about 50/50 between people who find my brain interesting and people who find it infuriating.
You are crazy beautiful and ever crafty…I almost feel bad that I don’t have dead things hanging round my house for Christmas. Almost.
Oh, don’t feel bad, you’re always only a haircut away from a freakish ball of hair to liven up your Christmas tree.
That’s more disturbing than the hairball doll my crazy ex in college made of me….wait did i just type that out…crap
She must have ended up in New Product Development for the company that made this ornament.
I’m just going to cut out the middleman and hang the cats from the tree — that’s where they end up anyway!
That’s true. Cat ladies wouldn’t even need any other ornaments.
Yakked up cat hairballs make good ornaments too. You just have to stick a hanger in them before they dry.
And then, once they do dry, they are very sturdy and can brighten up your Christmas tree year after year.
Especially if you’ve glittered the cats beforehand.
You are all such crafty people!
Find some roadkill and attach a ribbon….bahahaha! It’s frightening to think that my 16 year old would get the biggest kick from such a gift! You’re hilarious! I am laughing out loud as I type!
Thanks, Sandra. The roadkill could work for lots of different kinds of people – rednecks, emo kids, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family, and so on.
And to think that I just cleaned out our hairbrushes and threw the hair *away*! Oh well, I can always hope that one of the cats yaks up a good hairball soon. I haven’t glittered them, but two of them chew on the tree regularly so I have a good chance of getting some festive faux fir needles in the mix.
In your avatar picture it looks like your cat is capable of getting into ball-shape. All you need is a ribbon!
Now you have me thinking….. what about cutting out a circle of paper, “drawing” a snowflake with glue, and sprinkling the hair on the glue. Bam! Hairy snowflake!
Yes! Hair-as-glitter is the next logical, craftacular step.
Martha Stewart *dreams* of being as awesome as you! 😉
Yes, and we ALL know where she got the idea once her inevitable book on hair crafts comes out.