Man, I Hate it When That Happens

You’re going about your day, running some errands, and, all of a sudden, a gust of wind simultaneously blows up your skirt and your underwear drops. This must happen pretty often considering there were two different paintings depicting the embarrassing turn of events at the local antique shop:

Obviously, it doesn’t happen to these two very often, as they look completely surprised that the size underpants they chose were so loose, they fell to the floor against incoming winds.

You know the day chivalry died? When these ladies’ panties dropped and neither the construction guy, or the bus driver (OR the painter) offered to take their bag of groceries so they could right themselves. The nerve!


Even if you’re stealing my underwear and making fun of me and my belongings, it’s worth it.

Hotels. I love hotels. Most likely this is due to really only staying in them when doing fun things. Whatever the reason, I think what it comes down to is coming back to a made bed. There is really nothing like leaving the room with a messy bed or two, and then coming back to made beds, re-folded towels, and new soap. I love not having to do things, and making the bed is way up there.

And I’m sure the cleaning crew have to power to do all sorts of things, particularly involving underpants and abscondtion (a word I just made up) involving anything in the room, but dammit, the power of a made bed is too irresistible. Since I’m currently at Disney, I’m just assuming the whole thing goes down magically, anyway. They keep throwing that word around, so I just apply it to everything, including my swirled, messy sheets.

I’m a Testin’ and Have Chosen Fancy Panties as the Subject

Fancy Panties
If we as English speakers are allowed to just throw around the phrase "Fancy Panties" as if it doesn't matter, then we're all screwed.

Fancy Panties:
1. Are not found in drugstores.
2. Are not found in bins.
3. Are not 10/$10
4. Are not advertised on canary yellow office supply paper.
5. Should either have real gems and precious metals on them, be made of money, or have real stolen art/ancient artifacts woven throughout (comfort is of no concern).