If I Didn’t Already Know I was a Giant Nerd

My birthday was yesterday. I share my birthday with the whole earth, which, as an introvert, is pretty nice because I can just hang back while the earth gets all the attention.

On the occasions where I get multiple presents (mainly my birthday and Christmas), sometimes the stars align and I get a haul of the things I truly wanted and like. Not stupid clothes, or dumb stuff I need, but things that reflect the kind of person I am, which is a humongous immature nerd.

Yesterday was a reminder that not only am I a humongous immature nerd, but I was lucky to find another one to marry.

Exhibit A: We decided to go grab some lunch. Right before we left, Tom filled up his mug with the last of his coffee and we got in the car. He placed his coffee mug in it’s holder, and next to it sat my big-ass mug that lives in my car, which I drink water from because I’m a non-coffee drinking square:

Exhibit B: Tom bought me something that he thought might be more for him than me, and to acknowledge this possibility, he decorated the wrapping paper:

This is a Simpsons reference.

I opened my presents (some from Tom, some from my Mom, and Mom’s gifts were part of the reason the haul seemed especially nerdy; she usually gets me the less eccentric things I ask for). I stepped back and took in the sight of my spoils, and it was good.

1, The Mighty Boosh, the complete series DVD
2. Twin Peaks, complete series DVD (this was the one wrapped in a Simpsons reference)
3. The Joke Shop from the Department 56 A Christmas Story village
4. A Christmas Story leg lamp Christmas lights
5. A birdhouse in the shape of Mad Hatter’s hat from the Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”
6. Book 6 of The Walking Dead
7. A lottery ticket. If I win, obviously the money will be spent on many nerdy endeavors.

Do liking any of these individual things make me a giant nerd? No. Even though you might think they would, they wouldn’t. It is the volume of it that makes me a giant nerd. You get a Mad Hatter birdhouse, some sensible slacks, a pair of earrings, and a blender, and it just doesn’t say the same thing when it’s paired with these six other things. I did get a 12″ frying pan, so my mom got me one traditionally useful thing. But, I plan on using it as a weapon during the inevitable zombie take-over as much as I plan to make scrambled eggs in it.

This haul was also a nice reflection of the nerd balance I like to strike in my life. A Christmas Story and Alice in Wonderland needs to be paired with a dead teenager wrapped in plastic and the zombie apocalypse. Life is about variety, am I right?

I Knew That Looked Familiar

If you watch The Walking Dead, you know that a mysterious hooded figure with two zombies chained to her showed up at the end of the season finale:

You might have been thinking to yourself, “that looks really familiar, I’ve seen that before, somewhere, but for some reason, when I think about the other place I’ve seen it, I feel the need for a peppermint.” That is completely normal. What you are thinking of is my favorite figurine ever, of which I wrote a blog post about when I was the only one who saw my blog:

It’s exactly the same! Except, instead of a katana sword, she has a giant candy cane, and instead of zombies, she has lil santas. And, after thinking long and hard about it, I STILL think my figurine is creepier. However, with a little magic, I think this probably puts the Walking Dead image in first place:

P.S. If you would like to learn more about my weird lady with two chained Santas figurine, here is the original post.

Elliott is the George Lucas of Domesticated Cats

My cat is a temperamental director in his own mind. He, like George Lucas, feels there’s always room for improvement, even for the classics. When I watch a movie or television show, this is the set up:

So, oftentimes, Elliott decides that what I’m trying to watch isn’t good enough so he jumps on to the coffee table to enhance my viewing experience. I don’t want to be the only person to benefit from his vision. Here, at long last, is the chance to view TV and movies in the way they are supposed to be seen.

First, the obvious choice: The Empire Strikes Back. In Elliott’s version, you can’t hear it since it’s a blog post, but instead of the recently Lucas-added “NOOOOOO!”, Darth Vader yells “MEOOOOOW.”

Gone with the Wind:

The Walking Dead

The Godfather (I didn’t really feel he added much and that it was an unnecessary change, but Elliott told me to “suck it.”)

It’s A Wonderful Life:

Game of Thrones:


Elliott told me to tell you “you’re welcome.”

The American Doctor Who

If the U.S.A. had a Doctor Who, he couldn’t travel around in a police box all the time. He’d need a time machine that blended in better with the American landscape. Something that that can be plopped almost anywhere and no one would question it. On our walk this weekend, Tom and I found it:

Yes, there was “Dr. Poo” jokes, of course. And, I used the word “plopped” on purpose in the earlier sentence. Our Doctor Who would have an even harder time convincing people to accompany him, but can you deny that this must be his means of conveyance?

I googled “Doctor Who porta-potty” to see if there’s been anything else written about it, and I found this, which uses the more classy pun “Doctor Loo.” And poor Matt Smith. It’s bad enough having to use a porta-potty, much less having photographers waiting for you to emerge from one.

Maybe the “FARTIS” instead of the “TARDIS”? The FARTIS was unoccupied, so that means our Doctor and his companion were probably investigating the alien race that invented split-level houses, because that neighborhood is filled with them.

Pop Culture Roundup II

On the right of this blog is an Amazon affiliate banner. Yes, it’s an affiliate link, but it’s also a little list of the things I’ve been watching at any given time, like a lazy, non-personal journal. It’s over that way ======>

But, I also like to occasionally talk about what I’ve seen, and so here’s some of the stuff I’ve watched over the last few weeks:

Things I Hadn’t Seen Before:

1. Downton Abbey. Everyone kept blabbing about how good it was, and it’s generally not my kind of thing, but if something’s good, and it’s taking a segment of the population by storm, sometimes I feel left out. So, Tom and I watched the whole first season (or “series” if you’re British) over a weekend. It’s pretty addictive. It caused a few tweets from me:

Although, I have to say, the second season is getting a little too far fetched for me (we’re watching it as it’s being shown on PBS). I feel like unrealistic decisions are being made by the characters for the sake of suspense and tension. And, quiet suppressed emotion really does drive me up the wall eventually. Just say what you’re thinking, for God’s sake! It reminds me of this Eddie Izzard bit:

2. REC Spanish zombies! I liked this movie. It’s only 78 minutes long, and you know what? It doesn’t need to be any longer. It has very good pacing, and considering the situation the characters are put it, things move swiftly, as they should. The movie was re-made in America – Quarantine – essentially shot-for-shot. I haven’t seen Quarantine, but I can’t imagine there’s anything in it that would improve upon REC.

3. The Public Enemy  I’d never seen a James Cagney movie before. I thought it was time. Good lord does he have charisma. It was made in 1931, so it does have early film pacing, those kinds of awkward beats that seem like a play is being filmed, if that makes sense. Jean Harlow, who I love in Dinner at Eight, hasn’t quite gotten her style together yet. She reads her lines in of the strangest cadences I’ve ever heard. The DVD we watched had a whole segment featuring Martin Scorsese explaining why The Public Enemy is one of his favorite movies, and THAT I really loved.

4. Big Trouble in Little China I loved this so much. You know what the best thing about this movie is? The fact that the whole plot makes no sense but Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) has no idea what’s going on, either, and he just goes with the flow, so you do, too. Kurt Russell is so good in this movie. I found a compilation of Jack Burton being confused about what the hell is happening and it made me laugh all over again.

Things I Had Seen:

1. Spinal Tap  The local theater showed this the other week, so I got to see if for the first time on a big screen. We own this movie on DVD. The DVD has commentary from Spinal Tap in-character and it’s hilarious. It’s like a second movie. There’s so many good moments in this movie. My favorite is the entire Stonehenge segment, but it’s just filled wall to wall with jokes.

What have you seen lately that you loved?