My cat is a temperamental director in his own mind. He, like George Lucas, feels there’s always room for improvement, even for the classics. When I watch a movie or television show, this is the set up:
So, oftentimes, Elliott decides that what I’m trying to watch isn’t good enough so he jumps on to the coffee table to enhance my viewing experience. I don’t want to be the only person to benefit from his vision. Here, at long last, is the chance to view TV and movies in the way they are supposed to be seen.
First, the obvious choice: The Empire Strikes Back. In Elliott’s version, you can’t hear it since it’s a blog post, but instead of the recently Lucas-added “NOOOOOO!”, Darth Vader yells “MEOOOOOW.”
Gone with the Wind:
The Walking Dead
The Godfather (I didn’t really feel he added much and that it was an unnecessary change, but Elliott told me to “suck it.”)
It’s A Wonderful Life:
Game of Thrones:
Casablanca:
Elliott told me to tell you “you’re welcome.”
Wow. He’s a true visionary.
Also, that change to Casablanca now makes it look like Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, and Elliott are having a three-way kiss. Which is something I had always felt like the original version needed.
I feel bad for them, Elliott’s breath is pretty stinky.
That actually IS an improvement to “It’s a Wonderful Life”
“It’s a Wonderful Empty Yogurt Cup.”
Awww. That makes me miss my cat. But then again, I can now watch a TV show without a furry feline ass in my face. No, I still miss my cat.
I think Elliott needs to write a guest post of his own to defend his side of the story…
It would probably be pretty short and filled, filled, with expletives.
I think he was brilliant in Casablanca. But you have a giant head in that first picture, which makes me wonder if you are a Martian. Are you?
No, I just got hit by the brain ray at the same time Wonder Woman did on the Super Friends. But, I’m still not smart enough to just sit up and watch TV.
Next thing you know, he’s going to bogart the remote and you’ll be stuck watching Hillbilly Hand Fishing. Watch out for that one. His butt looks sneaky.
Cats and bears are the original Hillbilly Hand Fishers. He does occasionally scamper over the remote and ruin everything.
Send him to Hollywood, they remake everything.
He’s too edgy for Hollywood, it would need to be independent films.
I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cat ass! (said in a Christopher Walken voice where “cowbell” is replaced by “cat ass.”)
You know, I haven’t had a fever in a while. Interesting.
Monki, our 11 month old kitten is the same way. She will jump on the tv stand and express her desire for certain shows.
She’s a Walking Dead fan, doesn’t like the kid shows the girls watch, can’t stand Bobina’s Grey’s Anatomy and loves baseball.
Also, Bobina’s back and my lap are her favorite tv viewing spots.
Elliott will also settle on my back when he can. It’s a little annoying because I never like to disturb him but there’s no other way to be able to move.
I can’t let Esme see this. Right now she occasionally paws at the TV or lays behind my laptop. I don’t want Elliott putting crazy ideas in her head.
Luckily Elliott doesn’t paw at the screen. That would be a whole other level of trouble for all of us.
All I kept thinking of were the horrible “Attack Of The Giant…” movies from the 50s.
Maybe Elliot is trying to recreate a beloved piece of cinematic history?
Wow, there’s a nightmare – a 50ft tall Elliott. The sound of him licking himself would be deafening.