Tag: Conversation Pieces

I get e-mails from Zulily all the time. Zulily is “daily deals for moms, babies, and kids.” I’ve bought stuff for my niece and nephews from them and they also have sales on non-children/mom type stuff but I find it more fun to imagine that all of the merchandise is for kids. Today they are having a sale on rustic decor, and here is one of the things you can buy: Mom: Oh! I have to show you – we redecorated Billy’s room!

Houseguest: Ok, great….what’s that hanging from the ceiling?

Mom: Oh, it’s a hook. I got it for sale at a great price. Billy likes to hang his stuffed animals from it. I’ve told him if he pokes a hole in one more teddy bear he doesn’t get to have any more. P.S. You can get this fabulous costume for your little one here.

In order to save you money, I create conversations for the ebay conversation pieces so that you can enjoy them, move on, and spend your hard earned money on cookbooks or toothpaste.

Two old friends, Mike and Henry, have gotten together at Henry’s house to catch up and talk about the old days.

Henry: It’s so good to see you! Would you like a cup of coffee?

Mike: Sure! It’s been a long drive, I could use a pick-me-up.

Henry leaves and returns with two mugs of coffee and a grin on his face. Henry hands Mike his mug of coffee.

Mike: What the hell is this?

Henry: It’s funny, huh?

Mike: I’m not drinking out of that. I’ll feel like I’m drinking diarrhea.

Henry: But it won’t taste like diarrhea.

Mike: I would normally start making fun of you for knowing what diarrhea tastes like, but I’m so tired, and need caffeine so bad, that I don’t have the energy. But as bad as I need it, I will not drink it out of a toilet mug.

Henry: Alright, alright, fine. I’ll pour it into a different, regular mug.

Mike: No, the damage is done. I’ll just feel like you are trying to trick me into drinking diarrhea.

Henry: Well then, what now?

Mike: Do you have any soda? IN A CAN?

Scene.

 

 

Conversation Piece Conversation: Bustier Lamp

In order to save you money, I create conversations for the ebay conversation pieces so that you can enjoy them, move on, and spend your hard earned money on refrigerator magnets or rubber bands.

A homeowner and a fireman stand outside a house ravaged by fire.

Homeowner: How? How did this happen?

Fireman: Let me show you where the fire started. (Brings homeowner into house) There’s charring around this spot, here, near a wire frame that looks like half an hourglass.

Homeowner: Oh, man! That was my bustier lamp! Awww, look, a few of the beads at the top survived. You should have seen it, it was really sexy. I could have fit into it if it wasn’t a lamp.

Fireman: Ok.

Homeowner: Now I have to find a new house AND a new bustier lamp. That’s just great.

Fireman: Good luck.

Conversation Piece Conversation: Tribesman, Hand Carved

In order to save you money, I create conversations for the conversation pieces so that you can enjoy them, move on, and spend your hard earned money on hot dogs or socks.

John brings Reggie into his kitchen to show him his unique hand carved tribesman.

John: You’re not gonna believe it. It’s hand carved.

Reggie: Woowwww, look at all those cars!

John: Yeah, but-

Reggie: You didn’t tell me you collected miniature cars!

John: But the tribesman, the detail here-

Reggie: Is that a 57 Chevy?

John: Yes. An old woman handed me this tribesman and-

Reggie: How many cars are here? 50? 60?

John: I don’t know, Reggie.

Reggie: Can I have a grape?

John: They’re plastic.

Scene.