Category: Posts

An Introvert’s Halloween – Part 2

Part 2 – The Halloween Part (and more revelations about Carrie’s neurosis)

I just saw Megan’s comment in the previous post about how she hopes the solution to my problem is streaking with a mask on. I would like to go ahead and issue a spoiler alert that if your expectations are that high, prepare to be severely disappointed.

No. In fact, I hate masks. They are like taking a bath, you’re just stuck in this little room with your old stinky breath that you just have to keep using over and over again to breathe. I also don’t like crowds, partly because of chance of getting any attention in them and also because I’m probably slightly claustrophobic. I’m talking about how to make Halloween work for a square through and through, not letting my inner desire for flamboyancy loose.

I DID dress up for Halloween as a kid. My mom made me a Wonder Woman costume, and I mean sewed it, with Velcro and a pattern and shit. And I wish I had a picture of it but it’s six hours away. Once I hit a certain age, though, I was a punk rocker for like 4 years running. And by “punk rocker” I mean the kind who are allowed to wear their mom’s Garfield shirt because it doesn’t matter if they get glitter on it. That picture is also six hours away. I’ll be up there (North Carolina) for Halloween, so hopefully I can dig them up and share.

Next week, Tom and I are going to Disney World for our 10th wedding anniversary. And, we’re going to the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. I was reading all the Disney World forums about how other people plan to dress up for it. I went to this event 10 years ago on our honeymoon, and, obviously, didn’t dress up for it. But this year I thought it would be neat to at least poke the spirit of Halloween with a really long pole from afar by wearing something resembling something.

But I’m pretty much a one uniform gal: jeans, t-shirt. If it’s cold- jeans, t-shirt, hoodie. Hand on a stack of the first three Romero zombie movies: the last time I wore a skirt for anything other than church, a funeral, or a wedding, was when I was 12 years old. And the only reason I still wear skirts to these three events is because I don’t want to shop for any other appropriate clothing (my skirts are 10 years old). I also feel awkward and uncomfortable in anything other that t-shirts and jeans and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna feel more weird about looking at a giant bear’s butt on a log flume ride.

So, my solution was found when I was looking on Amazon for something that could be a costume but also in no way requires me to leave my comfort zone. And I found this:

Yes, that is a t-shirt that looks like Shaun’s work shirt from the movie Shaun of the Dead. Side note: if you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead and you like zombie movies, or comedies, or romantic comedies, then you are missing out. And what does Shaun wear with this shirt? Black pants. And I have a pair of black jeans, which is close enough. It’s a low maintenance, sure-to-not-bring-much-attention-to-me ensemble. It’s pretty much exactly what I wear every day but with a fake tie and name tag. I often have a stain so the red doesn’t even count. Perfect. And if it’s cold that day I’ll wear a long sleeve shirt underneath and be grunge Shaun.

And, I would totally be willing to carry around a cricket bat. But, I don’t want to navigate a theme park with one. I didn’t cave on carrying a purse until well into my twenties so the utilitarian part of me doesn’t want to deal with it. And, perhaps security wouldn’t even let me bring it in. If there is a zombie outbreak at the Magic Kingdom that night, I’ll definitely be kicking myself (and several zombies). I also won’t be tucking in my shirt because that war was fought valiantly against my mom and I will not allow all that eye rolling and sighing to be in vain.

So, now, please dazzle me with all of your more interesting and exciting planned Halloween costumes because I live for that shit. I’m really glad there are less shy and extroverted people out there, because they really do make Halloween the coolest holiday.

 

An Introvert’s Halloween – Part 1

Part 1 – The Introvert Part

My favorite time of the year is October, November, and December. The rest of the year is like waiting in line to me.

I really love Halloween. A large part is due to it being socially acceptable to carry around a giant pillowcase of candy and graze from it like a feed bag. It’s also about zombies and Draculas and ghosts and stuff I like all year long.

Halloween has a lot to do with drawing attention to yourself with costumes, etc. However, I’m an introvert, and a pretty extreme one at that. My Myers-Briggs personality type is I(introverted)S(sensing)T(thinking)J(judging). In summary, I’m a detail-oriented rule follower who doesn’t like surprises, and most importantly for this post – can go a while without socializing (I also have ADD, which makes for a hell of a lot of angst, which someday I’ll write about). Extraverts gain energy from interacting with other people; introverts expend energy interacting with other people. Extraverts often don’t understand why introverts won’t “lighten up,” or why they don’t want to ride that mechanical bull in front of the entire bar (or even just go to the bar). I’ve made this chart to demonstrate:

Also, there is a difference between being shy and being an introvert. I’m a shy introvert. I don’t like being the center of attention unless specific parameters are understood and set. I don’t like being an acquaintance of the center of attention for fear that I will become collateral damage. Going to a place where I don’t know anyone makes my brain break out in hives. I like to ride the coattails of people I already know who are less socially awkward than me.

I don’t do any heavy lifting when it comes to conversations. I hate small talk and am not good at sustaining it.  I can talk forever and in depth on things I’m interested in and I love finding out I have things in common with people. But, I don’t do the verbal digging to figure any of that out. I know this sounds like I don’t give a shit about people or want to get to know them, but that’s not it at all. It’s that I take my personal connections seriously – I go in all or nothing. So when it comes to the notion of casual social contact, e-mail and the internet is like a godsend to me.  Getting to know bloggers, because they put it there without me having to ask, and without the awkward silences, has been awesome.

All of this is to say that for an introvert at my level, Halloween, a highly participatory holiday, isn’t exactly a perfect fit for a social spectator like me. What’s an introvert to do? Tune in tomorrow for Part 2 – The Part About Halloween.

Personality types are like my astrological signs. I find them fascinating. What’s yours? Here’s a place you can find out.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep4

Oops! I skipped one. Last week’s was episode 5, so this week will be episode 4. God, I hope I can follow what’s going on.

Season 1 Episode 4: The Weather Maker

Airdate was September 29, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short Synopsis: Icebergs are drifting into the Atlantic Ocean and Wendy and Marvin’s pool froze over. Both equally important clues suggest someone is tampering with the weather. Seaweed becomes overgrown in the ocean, “creating a tangle,” etc. A Dr. Thinkquick is to blame. He’s from a country called Glacia, located in the North Pole. It’s so cold (how cold is it?) that he’s shifting the Gulf Stream so that it will be warm there and they can grow crops and livestock. Weirdo.

Important Super Friends Acronym: WWH – World Weather Headquarters. They also go to “The United States Government Building.”

This Episode Was Made Before the Internet
Batman, Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog spend an eternity in The United States Government Building, which seems to be the only place anyone can get a map. When the “last” map of the Gulf Stream is stolen by a minion, there’s a big chase, because, boys and girls, in the early 70’s, if you couldn’t get your hands on a map in the USGB, you were shit out of luck.

They don't love you like I love you, USGB

WTF Screenshots
This is a train hitch Superman and Wonder Woman made out of two icebergs to help a trapped battleship.

Because Superman couldn't possibly just move the iceberg to free a ship.

Aquaman enjoys a buttermilk biscuit (made by Wendy) in the middle of the crisis.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you keep a secret:

 

My Parents are Swimmeth Paltrow and Fish Martin.

My name is William, asshole.

Aquaman “talks” to a whale named Globey, or Globie, or Glow Bee – I don’t know how’s it’s spelled. How in the hell did this whale get named that? Is he the son of celebrity whales? These are the kind of hanging plot threads that drive me nuts.

Keep Telling Yourself That, Wendy.
“If they left us, then it must be perfectly safe.”

For the second episode in a row, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog end up stuck on a boat with the villain.

Batman and the USGB, Like a Moth to a Flame
Batman and Robin end up at the United States Government Building again. They need to get from the 10th floor to the 60th, and, I swear to God, they decide to take the stairs because it would be good exercise (and because the elevator would be too “noisy”).

“Just enough to tone our muscles,” says Batman. Shut up, Batman.

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD. This is an affiliate link.

CPC: An old woman handed me this tribesman and-

Conversation Piece Conversation: Tribesman, Hand Carved

In order to save you money, I create conversations for the conversation pieces so that you can enjoy them, move on, and spend your hard earned money on hot dogs or socks.

John brings Reggie into his kitchen to show him his unique hand carved tribesman.

John: You’re not gonna believe it. It’s hand carved.

Reggie: Woowwww, look at all those cars!

John: Yeah, but-

Reggie: You didn’t tell me you collected miniature cars!

John: But the tribesman, the detail here-

Reggie: Is that a 57 Chevy?

John: Yes. An old woman handed me this tribesman and-

Reggie: How many cars are here? 50? 60?

John: I don’t know, Reggie.

Reggie: Can I have a grape?

John: They’re plastic.

Scene.

Death AND Cake – Things I’ve Worried About

I’ve been a pop culture junkie since I was a wee one. I was never allowed to watch MTV, which means, of course, I watched it all the time. I was allowed to watch Nick Rocks, the video show on Nickelodeon. So every time my parents caught me watching MTV I told them it was Nick Rocks. And yes, I was a child when MTV literally showed videos during waking hours.

The Alice in Wonderland inspired video for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ “Don’t Come Around Here No More” had a lasting impression on me:

I know what you’re thinking, yes, that IS Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics as the Caterpillar at the beginning. He co-wrote the song. But, back to the subject at hand.

This song was released in 1985. I was 7 or 8 at the time. I think we can all agree that Tom Petty is a unique looking man. He’s very pointy. His voice, combined with his pointy-ness, and his Mat Hatter persona in this video seriously bugged me out. The whole video has a creepy, surreal vibe that disturbed me.

But, the thing that bothered me the most is when Alice is turned into a cake at the end. I was worried this may happen to me.

Was I worried I may turn into a pig baby? No. Nor was I worried about about becoming small enough to use a doughnut as a life preserver because that would be delicious. Somehow, the cake thing was what got my mind turning. This just seemed the most likely of all the scenarios presented.

And ultimately, this is was what worried me the most: I truly hoped that if and when I was turned into a cake, that everyone would be neater about cutting me up and serving me. Look at that mess! Tom’s serving all-icing pieces and all that cake is crumbled on the table. I can only hope my Mad Hatter and checkerboard ladies show some mercy on that front.

I did grow to love Tom Petty. He’s one of the most represented musicians on my iPod. And I also love the song, but I can’t hear it without thinking of messy cake.