An Introvert’s Halloween – Part 2

Part 2 – The Halloween Part (and more revelations about Carrie’s neurosis)

I just saw Megan’s comment in the previous post about how she hopes the solution to my problem is streaking with a mask on. I would like to go ahead and issue a spoiler alert that if your expectations are that high, prepare to be severely disappointed.

No. In fact, I hate masks. They are like taking a bath, you’re just stuck in this little room with your old stinky breath that you just have to keep using over and over again to breathe. I also don’t like crowds, partly because of chance of getting any attention in them and also because I’m probably slightly claustrophobic. I’m talking about how to make Halloween work for a square through and through, not letting my inner desire for flamboyancy loose.

I DID dress up for Halloween as a kid. My mom made me a Wonder Woman costume, and I mean sewed it, with Velcro and a pattern and shit. And I wish I had a picture of it but it’s six hours away. Once I hit a certain age, though, I was a punk rocker for like 4 years running. And by “punk rocker” I mean the kind who are allowed to wear their mom’s Garfield shirt because it doesn’t matter if they get glitter on it. That picture is also six hours away. I’ll be up there (North Carolina) for Halloween, so hopefully I can dig them up and share.

Next week, Tom and I are going to Disney World for our 10th wedding anniversary. And, we’re going to the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. I was reading all the Disney World forums about how other people plan to dress up for it. I went to this event 10 years ago on our honeymoon, and, obviously, didn’t dress up for it. But this year I thought it would be neat to at least poke the spirit of Halloween with a really long pole from afar by wearing something resembling something.

But I’m pretty much a one uniform gal: jeans, t-shirt. If it’s cold- jeans, t-shirt, hoodie. Hand on a stack of the first three Romero zombie movies: the last time I wore a skirt for anything other than church, a funeral, or a wedding, was when I was 12 years old. And the only reason I still wear skirts to these three events is because I don’t want to shop for any other appropriate clothing (my skirts are 10 years old). I also feel awkward and uncomfortable in anything other that t-shirts and jeans and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna feel more weird about looking at a giant bear’s butt on a log flume ride.

So, my solution was found when I was looking on Amazon for something that could be a costume but also in no way requires me to leave my comfort zone. And I found this:

Yes, that is a t-shirt that looks like Shaun’s work shirt from the movie Shaun of the Dead. Side note: if you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead and you like zombie movies, or comedies, or romantic comedies, then you are missing out. And what does Shaun wear with this shirt? Black pants. And I have a pair of black jeans, which is close enough. It’s a low maintenance, sure-to-not-bring-much-attention-to-me ensemble. It’s pretty much exactly what I wear every day but with a fake tie and name tag. I often have a stain so the red doesn’t even count. Perfect. And if it’s cold that day I’ll wear a long sleeve shirt underneath and be grunge Shaun.

And, I would totally be willing to carry around a cricket bat. But, I don’t want to navigate a theme park with one. I didn’t cave on carrying a purse until well into my twenties so the utilitarian part of me doesn’t want to deal with it. And, perhaps security wouldn’t even let me bring it in. If there is a zombie outbreak at the Magic Kingdom that night, I’ll definitely be kicking myself (and several zombies). I also won’t be tucking in my shirt because that war was fought valiantly against my mom and I will not allow all that eye rolling and sighing to be in vain.

So, now, please dazzle me with all of your more interesting and exciting planned Halloween costumes because I live for that shit. I’m really glad there are less shy and extroverted people out there, because they really do make Halloween the coolest holiday.


16 thoughts on “An Introvert’s Halloween – Part 2”

  1. Shaun of the Dead…sigh…love. Maybe just carry a red sharpie in your pocket so the folks at Disney don’t rush you or anything! Also congrats on the 10 year anniversary!

  2. I generally don’t do costumes, either. Or halloween in general. I always seem to have something better to do. (I think I lost the little kid in me). But that’s the way to be ‘cool’ at my college, so I’m kind of torn this year.

    1. Well if you’re not into Halloween, you’re not into Halloween. I’m completely neutral on Easter, that’s allergy season. I love Halloween, I just feel guilty because I’d rather do nothing but enjoy everyone else’s costumes like I’m watching a sport.

  3. Wait, I thought it was a law you had to dress up like a whore on Halloween… This changes everything… (unstrapping thigh-high nylons). Whew.

    Love the Shaun of the Dead idea. That movie makes me forget how much I really wanted to like “Paul” the alien movie and just didn’t. Which made me very sad.

    1. Amy, SAME HERE. I was watching Paul and I think there were veins popping out of my forehead I was trying to like that movie so hard. I kept thinking “It’ll pick up, it’ll pick up…” and it just didn’t. Maybe I was just expecting something else. It wasn’t so bad that I may end up appreciating it in a couple years.

    1. That sounds about right. Although if they looked anything like the bats in my picture my guess is they were wandering around on the ground because they couldn’t fly.

  4. Oh my god, Carrie . . . are you . . . are you me? My anniversary is also next week (9 years though), I am exceedingly shy in real life, Halloween is my favorite holiday, I was a punk for halloween for many teenaged years, I never carried a purse until I was almost 30. I don’t remember the other things you said, but I am pretty sure we are the same person.

    Although . . . I have never seen Shawn of the Dead. I am saddened by this fact and may need to remedy it forthwith. So many people mention it on the blogosphere and although I am not really into horror movies or zombies, it seems to be a funny alternative. Do I need to see Dawn of the Dead first to get references? Is it super meta? Just wondering, because then I might be out.

    Happy Anniversary to you!

    1. Misty! If your anniversary is the 18th I’ll scream. But, as usual, I’m alone in my house so it shouldn’t frighten anyone. Isn’t the internet awesome for shy people? I started carrying a purse because my vanity took over and I could no longer not look lumpy with all that shit in my pockets.

      Shaun of the Dead, if someone doesn’t like zombies, that and Zombieland, are the only two zombie movies I think non-horror and zombie lovers would like. Shaun of the Dead is not super meta, it stands quite fine on its own. It’s awesome and British-y and funny and sweet.

      And a Happy Anniversary to you, too!

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