Lost Mattress: Never Say Optimism is Dead

On our way home from seeing Contagion (why yes, I am now paranoid of getting batpig disease, why do you ask?), Tom, my husband, who was driving, busted out with this gem:
“Did we just pass a Lost Mattress sign?”

I replied that I didn’t see the sign, but oh my God, do you think it WAS a Lost Mattress sign? Because, I think, as you all are thinking, that it would be a glorious sight if it was. And, if it was, I would never forgive myself for missing the opportunity to see it.

Tom said, “It wasn’t. It couldn’t have been.”

And I said – “Are you sure?”

So, we turned around just to know.

It wasn’t. But, we had enough hope in our hearts to think that maybe it was true. Never say optimism is dead.

It was a Mattress for Sale sign. A girl can dream, though.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness

If you’re my age, then you probably know and watched the Super Friends Saturday morning cartoon show when you were a kid. If you are unlike me, then you did not watch reruns of it after midnight in your 20s in college (NOT stoned, completely sober – no excuses for me). If you haven’t seen this show since you were a kid, you may have forgotten how utterly insane it was. This show is endlessly amusing to me.

I delight in watching Superman not using his powers out of sheer laziness. In watching Wonder Woman offer to be in charge of a schedule for helping balloon-like aliens as if they didn’t have an intern to do that. In the seemingly random things the Super Friends find shocking and the ones that don’t phase them at all.

It is a spectacle for the eyes, ears, and the “wait, what?” part of your brain.

So, for probably mostly my own amusement, I will be watching every episode (or until I grow tired of it) – one a week, in order to document the marvelous ridiculousness that is Super Friends. And so, I present to you:

Season 1 – Episode 1: “The Power Pirate”

Air date was September 8, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short synopsis: An alien comes to earth to steal energy because his planet used all theirs, thus wreaking havoc on lil ol’ earth. Superman solves the problem by deciding to “polish” their moon until it is “as smooth as glass,” allowing the aliens to…something about the sun.

Best Jerking Around Moment:

Superman pretends that he can’t beat Marvin at arm wrestling and the rest of the Super Friends jokingly discuss whether they should help Superman. This is happening during the WEEKLY SUPER FRIENDS MEETING. Which, Wendy baked a cake for.

Important Lesson and Theme:
“Don’t forget, not everyone has super strength. But, everyone has a brain. You can do super things with your brain.” -Batman

Hey, Can I Get a Ride?
You will never see a show more obsessed with how superheroes got somewhere. In this episode alone, they address the issue FIVE TIMES:

I know what you're thinking. Why's Aquaman flying the plane? He's not. WW drives it with her mind grapes. Anyway, she flies him to save a ship.
Batman, Robin, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog all cram into the Batmobile to pick up Aquaman after saving the ship.
Batman, Aquaman, and Robin get in the Batmobile and then Superman flies them to a dam.
Superman flies Batman, Robin, Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog to a hospital, this time without the Batmobile.
THEN, he flies them to a nuclear power plant.

WTF Screenshot
Speaking of the nuclear power plant – here is its “start button.”


Why the Name Cannibalistic Nerd?

Technically, I’m a geek. Nerds do well in school. However, the candy called Nerds exists. I love Nerds. Especially the little boxes you get around Halloween. Probably because it reminds me of Halloween.

Other than Pixie Stix and that dipping powder, this is the closest thing to standing over the jar and shoveling sugar in your mouth.

Whenever I eat Nerds, my husband points at me and calls me a cannibal. He does the same when I eat shrimp, as I am short. The title Cannibalistic Nerd got in my head and I couldn’t shake it, and thought it sounded better than Cannibalistic Shrimp, and was a better description for me and what I’d probably write about.

And isn’t that kind of what nerds and geeks do? Obsess over what we like and devour it over and over again? And the line between you and the things you like gets blurrier and blurrier, etc.? No? Fine, I’m sticking with the name, though.

In reading up on starting a blog, one of the things is that you’re supposed to have a niche. I actually do have a niche blog – one of the nichiest blogs one could hope for.

I’m thinking, I can go more niche – maybe a blog of nothing but pictures of straw wrappers I compulsively knot when at restaurants.

If they are really long I fold them in half, first.

Or, I can go broad. So, I’m going broad.

I’m a Testin’ and Have Chosen Fancy Panties as the Subject

Fancy Panties
If we as English speakers are allowed to just throw around the phrase "Fancy Panties" as if it doesn't matter, then we're all screwed.

Fancy Panties:
1. Are not found in drugstores.
2. Are not found in bins.
3. Are not 10/$10
4. Are not advertised on canary yellow office supply paper.
5. Should either have real gems and precious metals on them, be made of money, or have real stolen art/ancient artifacts woven throughout (comfort is of no concern).