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Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep9

This is part of my weekly Saturday Morning installment dedicated to archiving and commenting on the wonderful “what else can we put in here to make it an hour” ridiculousness that is the cartoon series, Super Friends.

Season 1 – Episode 9: “The Balloon People”

Airdate was November 3, 1973.

Short Synopsis: There’s a spacecraft on the “space monitor” at headquarters. “The saucer is transporting a family of strange humanoids. They are The Balloon People – Krim, his wife Gloma, their daughter, Plinky, and a dog, Grunk.” – Narrator

I can only assume their last name is Zappa. These Balloon People can inflate and deflate to various sizes, like Robert De Niro and Tom Hanks. They can also move things telepathically. I’ll give you one guess as to why they are coming to Earth. And I’m not even going to tell you the answer because Godamnit if you don’t know by now that Earth’s awesome inhabitable atmosphere brings all the boys to the yard, then you’ll never learn.

I didn’t ask “let me see it, “ I asked “how”

I'm pretty sure this is the inspiration for the "Like A Prayer" video

Wendy asks them how they deflate and inflate. And the answer is: “like this.” No shit. Super Friends has never really been too worried about alien anatomy.

The World Herald – The World’s Local Newspaper
Here’s the day’s headline in The World Herald. The Super Friends are shitty secret-keepers, apparently.

Here’s some other recent headlines in The World Herald:


–
The Krim Family = The World’s In-Laws
Super Friends may not be the best show for demonstrating the amazing power and moral strength of super heroes. But, it is a good guide for how to handle out of town guests.

“The Super Friends arrive to pay a social call to the Krim Family.” – The Narrator

“We Super Friends would like to help you become acquainted with Earth. We’ll take you on sight-seeing trips on land, and in the sky, and undersea if you desire.” – Aquaman

Other suggested activities:
Take them fishing:

Have them help you clean up the backyard so it will look nice for Superman, who’s on his way to pick them up for sight-seeing:

Show them the countryside while flying them around in their tiny spaceship:

Show them the wonders of the Corral Reef. Watch out for “diabolical sea-suckers.”

Wonder Woman – Seriously, Super Friends?
This is what Wonder Woman can do – kick ass and take names later:

This is what they have her do in this episode:
Batman: I suggest we take turns acting as their personal body guards.
Wonder Woman: Good, I’ll draw up a schedule.

Anderson Cooper Reports the “News!”

“{The head of the EPA} has also invited the Krim Family to attend the meeting. The invitation includes Wonder Dog, who this evening will be taken to the pet shop for a hair trim and pedicure.”

In a world where living humanoids that are made of balloons exist, there’s one major concern weighing on Robin’s mind.

“Krim?! KRIM!? What are you doing in the neighbor’s yard!??”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.

Conversation Piece Conversation: Toilet Bowl Coffee Mug

In order to save you money, I create conversations for the ebay conversation pieces so that you can enjoy them, move on, and spend your hard earned money on cookbooks or toothpaste.

Two old friends, Mike and Henry, have gotten together at Henry’s house to catch up and talk about the old days.

Henry: It’s so good to see you! Would you like a cup of coffee?

Mike: Sure! It’s been a long drive, I could use a pick-me-up.

Henry leaves and returns with two mugs of coffee and a grin on his face. Henry hands Mike his mug of coffee.

Mike: What the hell is this?

Henry: It’s funny, huh?

Mike: I’m not drinking out of that. I’ll feel like I’m drinking diarrhea.

Henry: But it won’t taste like diarrhea.

Mike: I would normally start making fun of you for knowing what diarrhea tastes like, but I’m so tired, and need caffeine so bad, that I don’t have the energy. But as bad as I need it, I will not drink it out of a toilet mug.

Henry: Alright, alright, fine. I’ll pour it into a different, regular mug.

Mike: No, the damage is done. I’ll just feel like you are trying to trick me into drinking diarrhea.

Henry: Well then, what now?

Mike: Do you have any soda? IN A CAN?

Scene.

 

 

Name Ideas for the Duggars

The Duggars, Michelle and Jim Bob, are expecting their 20th child. All the rest of their kids’ names start with a J, so I’m sure this one will as well. I bet at this point it’s hard to come up with new J names. Here’s 20 suggestions, in case they want to change any of their current children’s names.

1. Joker
2. Jigglypuff (girl)
3. J-name
4. Just forget it, we won’t remember it anyway
5. Jesus-Sue (girl)
6. Jesus-Bob (boy)
7. Jellybean
8. Jor-El
9. Justin Old Fashioned Love Song
10. Jamiroquai
11. Just Do It (Both your and Nike’s slogan)
12. Junkyard Dog
13. Jean Genie
14.Jacques Cousteau-Ray
15. Jolly Roger
16. Jristopher
17. Job (just to mess with him if it’s a boy)
18. Jabberwocky
19. Jager Meister
20. Jagger-Moves Like (it’s trendy and now)

What else?

 

She’s my pumpkin pie, warm boat of gravy such a sweet suprise-I got you a Thanksgiving card!

I found myself in the drugstore’s greeting card section yet again last week.

This time, the Halloween cards (which I really don’t see the point of) had been replaced with Thanksgiving cards. I don’t know why, but this seems even sillier than Halloween cards to me. And, as usual, there were categories which had wrong descriptions and cards. I have made the necessary corrections:

Because eating until you have to unbutton your pants naturally leads to doin' it.

I would like to preface the next two with the following fact: I work in dog rescue. I buy my dogs Christmas presents. We make up songs about our dogs and sing them to our dogs (“Your own, personal, Jenkins. Someone to give belly rubs, someone to snug….reach out and kiss face”). I even “understand” a birthday card from a dog (cats don’t give a shit). So when I say that there is a problem if you feel you need to buy or receive a Thanksgiving card from your pet, that means there’s a problem.


 

I Need to be More Like The Muppets

You know those days when you wake up, and the sun is shining, and it’s November, and it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold, and you decide to check your e-mail on your phone from the comfort of your warm bed – and there’s a turd of an e-mail sitting in your inbox. And that e-mail says, in coded language, “I just woke up, being the sour person I am everyday, and decided to take it out on you.” And then, another person responds to that e-mail and says, in coded language, “Yeah, and I’m going to back them up because I’m also quite the pill.” And then that once promising day turns into a rage/depression combo day. That was yesterday.

The day before yesterday, Tom and I went to see The Muppet Movie (not the new one, the first one in 1979) at a movie theater on the big screen. It was so great – I’ve seen the movie several times, but was too young to see it in the theater when it came out. As with many people from my generation, The Muppets are very important to me, and so was Jim Henson.

The Muppets are amazing. They are genuine. They are quirky and unique. The weird ones embrace their weirdness, and the less weird ones appreciate the weird ones with affection and true friendship. They apologize to each other. They are not petty and vindictive – their flaws are human and forgivable. But, it isn’t all about “lessons” – there are jokes, they don’t take everything overly seriously, and other than the fabulous Miss Piggy, it’s never “all about them.” Then, like a cherry on top, they actually have two characters whose sole existence is to ridicule them (Statler and Waldorf). To someone who abhors over-sentimentality, this combination is absolutely perfect.

The Muppet Movie can have one of the sincerest songs ever written, “The Rainbow Connection,” which, if sung by a human, would be sappy and hippie dippy, but when sung by a frog in a swamp with the voice of Jim Henson, makes me want to cry just thinking about it…

And, it can have Steve Martin waiting on a frog an a pig on a date.

Basically, the best of both worlds.

I remember where I was when I found out Jim Henson died. I was in a mini van with my family in Ahoskie, N.C. – where my dad was from, visiting my grandma. Jim Henson had actually been in Ahoskie – a very, very small, obscure town – about a week before, visiting his father and step mother. When you find out that Jim Henson was in the tiny town your dad grew up, visiting his own dad, the world seems a little smaller, and the world of The Muppets a little more possible, even with the loss of their creator.

What The Muppets do so well, and what I need to do better, is they don’t deny that there’s crap in the world, or even that an e-mail can make a day go off its rails. They live in a world of true setbacks, and even some genuine assholes (the villain doesn’t come around to their point of view), but they also don’t let those things dictate the kind of day they’re going to have (but they let themselves feel bummed, too), because ultimately they are the ones who control whether to make the best of something or let it get them down. And, then, just before everything gets too sunshines and friendship, you hear:

Statler: Hey look, Waldorf, it’s a frog and a pig.

Waldorf: Yeah, looks like they’re in love.

Statler: Yeah.

Waldorf: Kind of makes you sick, doesn’t it?

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

In conclusion, I love you, Muppets. And I hope to God your new movie is good and does you justice.