Author: Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

Get back to your needlepoint, little starling. Craft, craft, craft…craft, craft, craft.

Reason 1,234,567 I can’t wait until the house is sold: I get to put up all my inappropriate decor.

I don’t have super-awesome stuff like electric chairs or cobras fighting mongooses, but I have plenty of off-kilter things and things that don’t get your house sold that we can’t have out right now (a homemade ALF planter I found at a flea market, Tom likes to display his big ol’ AT-AT from childhood, etc.),

With the rapid reduction of dog rescue work I do, I’ve found time to do things I used to do, like a little bit of crafting.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I finally got to make what’s been bouncing around in my head for over five years. But, now it has to go in a box, waiting for a time when a cross-stitch inspired by Silence of the Lambs can be displayed in my bathroom without weirding out potential buyers, just regular visitors. So, for now, I will hang it in this blog post to enjoy.

Police Snackademy

You know when you spell a word over and over and it doesn’t seem like a word anymore?  And how sometimes something seems funny, then  you spell it over and over and it doesn’t seem like a funny anymore? This is that post. It’s pretty much solely to amuse Tom and my friend, Dave.

I’ve been sitting on it for weeks. Then, Lance goes and tweets about Steve Guttenberg getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. What the fucking hell? What are the chances of that? I’m sitting on a Police Academy post and Steve Guttenbeg “finally?” gets a star on the Walk of Fame. So, I have  no choice but to drop this bomb. I apologize to all who are scarred by it.

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We were at Walgreen’s, and Tom came across this amazing combo DVD of Police Academys 2 and 3 (yes, 2 and 3 only):

Notice the yellow sticker on it – “DON’T Forget SNACK.” Yep, it’s a yellow sticker about a singular snack. Even though there are TWO movies to watch – shouldn’t it be “snacks” plural? And also, stop nagging me, Comedy Double Feature Police Academy 2 and 3 DVD.

If I want a snack, I’ll get a snack, and if I don’t, I won’t. And, I’m not buying you anyway, so it’s none of your goddamned business.

I looked everywhere in the store, but they had none of my favorite snacks:

 

 

  

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep13

“The Mysterious Moles”

Original Airdate: December 1, 1973

Short Synopsis: Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog are riding their bikes, which kids apparently did back in the 1970s, and they think someone moved an oak tree while their backs were turned, and see what looks like giant chicken tracks. Plus, four air conditioning units are stolen from four different buildings. This is all cause for concern, of course.

Maximus and Minimus Mole are the baddies in this episode, they are renowned spelunkers. Maximus is trying to find the elusive “Bottomless Cave.” We know this because Superman and Wonder Woman have read books by Maximus Mole. This is what they look like. Mrs. Mole is a handsome woman.

“It’s not a national disaster, but if it continues, we may have to take action.” – Superman
Are you kidding, Superman? Every time anybody misplaces their keys, y’all investigate. Lazily and incompetently, but you investigate.

WTF Screenshots
Wonder Woman’s earring is just shoved into the side of her face.

Superman crouches near a valuable air conditioner, his pinhead propped on top of his super body.

Max Mole seems to be a former member of the Manson Family.

Here’s Marvin, Wonder Dog, and Wendy floating down an underwater river in the cap of a giant mushroom.

Shut up, Batman. And Robin.
“A proper place for air conditioning thieves, the cooler.” – Batman
“How come a housewife was dressed in mountain climbing gear?” – Robin

THINK SESSION!
“This requires a combined think session by the Super Friends” – Batman

“Meanwhile, in the Hall of the Justice League, the Super Friends are engaged in a Think Session, utilizing their super brainpower to solve the mystery of the missing air conditioners.” – Narrator

Guess Who Ended Up in the Bottomless Cave
Yes, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog end up in the Bottomless Cave while the Super Friends are dicking around during their “Think Session.” The Bottomless Cave does have a bottom, and at the bottom is “Molesville.”

The water in Molesville allows trees to move around. And, there are giant diamonds in the cave, but the Moles need air conditioners to keep the area cool so they can stay down there to extract the…it’s a whole thing. But,  ultimately, this episode was literally about the stolen airconditioners, which makes it the lamest “mystery” so far, which is saying a lot.

Wow, how did you put that together, Wonder Woman?
“Min and Max are short for Minimus and Maximus Mole!” – Wonder Woman

Where does Wendy find the time?
And of course, it wouldn’t be a victory for the Super Friends unless Wendy feeds everyone afterwards. This week, she provided a picnic. And, notice that it seems like the Super Friends are enjoying the meal while Marvin and Wendy have to watch from a distance, getting nothing and liking it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.

I’m Warning You, Don’t Put a Baby in There

I have some plastic bins from Ikea:

This is a plastic bin from Ikea - put stuff in it.

These bins have my most favorite warning stickers that I’ve actually seen in person:

Ikea is kind enough to show you why you shouldn’t put a baby in the bin if it isn’t small enough to completely fit inside – you can’t stack, which means you can’t maximize baby storage space.