Pop Culture Haiku: All I Want for Christmas is…ewwwww

Mariah Carey
knows how to have a three-way
with her melisma.

If I have to know
M.C.’s background sex music,
then you have to know.

I’m very sorry
but I refuse to suffer
alone on my own.


17 thoughts on “Pop Culture Haiku: All I Want for Christmas is…ewwwww”

  1. But all she wants for Christmas is you! That means you don’t have to actually go out and buy her a Chia Pet or dose of reality. Use that money to buy me a drink, as now the song is in my head and I’m cursing you under my breath.

  2. Now I am going to have to stab my head repeatedly, scratch my ears to nubs, and rinse my mouth with bleach just to stop singing her crap in my head and out loud. Thank you…thank you very much.

  3. I have been out and about running errands and attempting to Christmas shop. I’ve heard that song a half dozen times today…now you’re telling me this is the background music for ‘intimate encounters’? No, just no.

    Do you think she sings along, during, you know…

    Aw hell, look at what you’ve done.

  4. Yet another useless tidbit my brain could have lived without knowing. THANK YOU AGAIN. Why do I keep coming back here? Ah yes. For the giggles. But still: no more Mariah. My LEAST favorite singer of all time. Something about her just… irks me.

  5. Well, *sniff*, I for one think it’s beautiful. I find that Christmas song of hers totally hot and steamy too. Or something along those lines sort of not really. ew.

    1. There’s this retro 1940s trio called the Puppini Sisters, and I heard their version of the song and was at first confused because I thought Mariah wrote that song, then when I figured out they are a modern throw-back group, I was confused because I liked their version of it.

  6. I am pretty sure the use of the word “melisma” alone earns you some kind of special bonus points somewhere.

    I heard the Puppini Sisters’ version on the Coverville podcast and liked it. I can’t imagine liking it any other way though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *