“The Mysterious Moles”
Original Airdate: December 1, 1973
Short Synopsis: Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog are riding their bikes, which kids apparently did back in the 1970s, and they think someone moved an oak tree while their backs were turned, and see what looks like giant chicken tracks. Plus, four air conditioning units are stolen from four different buildings. This is all cause for concern, of course.
Maximus and Minimus Mole are the baddies in this episode, they are renowned spelunkers. Maximus is trying to find the elusive “Bottomless Cave.” We know this because Superman and Wonder Woman have read books by Maximus Mole. This is what they look like. Mrs. Mole is a handsome woman.
“It’s not a national disaster, but if it continues, we may have to take action.” – Superman
Are you kidding, Superman? Every time anybody misplaces their keys, y’all investigate. Lazily and incompetently, but you investigate.
WTF Screenshots
Wonder Woman’s earring is just shoved into the side of her face.
Superman crouches near a valuable air conditioner, his pinhead propped on top of his super body.
Max Mole seems to be a former member of the Manson Family.
Here’s Marvin, Wonder Dog, and Wendy floating down an underwater river in the cap of a giant mushroom.
Shut up, Batman. And Robin.
“A proper place for air conditioning thieves, the cooler.” – Batman
“How come a housewife was dressed in mountain climbing gear?” – Robin
THINK SESSION!
“This requires a combined think session by the Super Friends” – Batman
“Meanwhile, in the Hall of the Justice League, the Super Friends are engaged in a Think Session, utilizing their super brainpower to solve the mystery of the missing air conditioners.” – Narrator
Guess Who Ended Up in the Bottomless Cave
Yes, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog end up in the Bottomless Cave while the Super Friends are dicking around during their “Think Session.” The Bottomless Cave does have a bottom, and at the bottom is “Molesville.”
The water in Molesville allows trees to move around. And, there are giant diamonds in the cave, but the Moles need air conditioners to keep the area cool so they can stay down there to extract the…it’s a whole thing. But, ultimately, this episode was literally about the stolen airconditioners, which makes it the lamest “mystery” so far, which is saying a lot.
Wow, how did you put that together, Wonder Woman?
“Min and Max are short for Minimus and Maximus Mole!” – Wonder Woman
Where does Wendy find the time?
And of course, it wouldn’t be a victory for the Super Friends unless Wendy feeds everyone afterwards. This week, she provided a picnic. And, notice that it seems like the Super Friends are enjoying the meal while Marvin and Wendy have to watch from a distance, getting nothing and liking it.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.
…and every little boy in the 1970s wanted to have a teacher that looked like Wonder Woman.
wait, no, just me?
She could teach you all the nicknames for longer names, that was her expertise this episode.
I didn’t want a teacher who looked like Wonder Woman. I wanted to have sex with Linda Carter.
At any point was there a sequence where Batman and Robin “didn’t have a moment to lose”, but took that moment to describe the peril and urgency of the situation they were in, rather than taking the required action AT THAT MOMENT? Because that is always a WTF moment for me during those episodes.
Oh, yeah, they never get around to doing ANYTHING until a few minutes before the disaster. I guess that’s supposed to impress you with how quickly they can super hero the shit out of a problem, but often times, they completely fuck it up.