Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep12

“The Menace of the White Dwarf”

Original airdate: November 24, 1973

Short Synopsis: A guy in a red spacecraft is flying around, pointing at things with a special gun, giggling, and making said things disappear. And, of course, one of the things involve Wendy and Marvin, perpetual early-in-the-episode victims (this time their bike disappeared). The Super Friends assume it’s a white dwarf. More specifically, as Batman says, “A white dwarf with a human brain.” I cannot believe how un-PC the 1970s were.

So it turns out they were referring to a star. They figure out the villain’s name is Raven, a “super scientist that Superman sent to prison.”

WTF Screenshots
Here’s Wonder Dog picking a fight with a balloon.

Noooo, the Super Friends can’t have a regular projector, they have to have a space-age projector that looks like a tire swing with polaroids sticking out of it.

Wendy is a close-talker.

This is Superman and Wonder Woman using their “acute hearing.”

This is Wonder Dog chasing a cat into the Washington Monument.

Aquaman Bums a Ride
This is Aquaman asking Batman and Robin for a ride to an ocean emergency.

How in the hell does he get around when he’s not hanging with the Super Friends? Does he take the subway or use the bus system?

Super Friends and the Hillbilly Trio
Things get a little weird, and Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder dog end up at a shack where these three fellows reside.

The say things like “balder n’ a speckled hen’s egg.” The Raven has been trying to buy a meteor from them, and they’ve refused time and again. And because Raven is an upstanding super villain, he hasn’t thought to just steal it.

The meteor is Kryponite, and here’s the definitive answer as to what exactly it does to Superman, according to the narrator: “Kryptonite’s radiation reduces him to the condition of an invalid.”

Just Tell Us, Already.
The Raven threatens to send a building into orbit, and won’t oblige Marvin’s request to tell him what building, but he does offer the following clue: “Ohhhh, wouldn’t you like to knowwww, that. Well, I’ll tell you this much, it will be an irreplaceable building, a building rrrrrich in tradition and history. Tell Superman THAT.” BO-RING.

After all this dramatic not agreeing to tell them the building, Wendy says “fine, then, what time will the building go into orbit?” And The Raven responds with a very helpful “today, at 5.”

And, I’ll give you nothing if you guess what time it is. Yep, “minutes to spare before 5 o’clock.”

The Raven and his android clones give Martha Stewart a run for her money.
The Raven has put together robots that look just like him “to help with the chores.” They create a delightful meal for Wendy, Marvin, and Super Dog, because that’s how classy this super villain is. He also takes them on a tour of his lair.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.