Author: Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep5D – “Energy Mass”

Season 2, Episode 5, Storyline D – “Energy Mass”

Original Airdate: October 8, 1977

It’s Craft Time!

Superman comes across a treasure chest on the beach that doesn’t belong to him and starts rifling through it like that’s totally ok.


He finds a telescope, says “it would look good in anybody’s room,” but then brags that because of his x-ray vision, he doesn’t need it. That’s great; you know why? BECAUSE IT’S NOT YOURS, SUPERMAN.


There’s other stuff in there, too – glue, old spools (which Super Friends seems to think every household has piles and piles of), paint – all the things you’ll need to make a model telescope. What a crappy treasure to find. It’s almost as if there’s some lesson to be learned about not going through other people’s stuff.

Here’s how you make your model telescope that Superman doesn’t need because of his awesome x-ray vision and don’t you forget it:
1. From your giant pile of empty wooden thread spools, pick out four different sizes because obviously you would have four different sizes.
2. Put them on a soda straw, which I don’t know what that is, I think they may be using 1950s speak again, or, he just means “a straw” and is being a jerk about it. Then, you glue each spool together and remove the soda straw – why the hell did we need a soda straw in the first place? Forget the soda straw, I’m sorry I ever mentioned it.

3. Using your telekinetic powers or your ability to stop time (most people can do one or the other), hover your glued spools in mid-air and paint everything brown, like so:

4. Then, add yellow to the raised parts to look like brass. Now you have a model telescope made from stolen materials – congratulations!

Energy Mass – Short Synopsis: “The island of Japan, home of the Takado (my guess), the 125 mph super train.” – Narrator


These guys are standing around a bunch of orange and yellow stuff in a giant jar and then danger lights start flashing and they say the energy mass is growing too rapidly. “Our experimental perpetual energy could be disastrous if it got out of hand,” says the one in the lab coat. Guess what happens.


“Stand back! No one can survive it’s touch,” exclaims the one in the proper brown 1970’s suit. So, now there’s a high speed train with a giant orange and yellow thing that kills whatever it touches aboard. It’s heading downhill, so if someone can’t get past the energy blob, I mean, mass, and apply the brakes, all is lost.


The Super Friends are alerted, and it turns out that Batman and Robin just so happen to be “right near Japan,” and they have special guest star, Atom, with them.

Atom, the littlest Super Friend.
Who’s this Atom? I looked him up in Wikipedia, which had this to say about him:

“The Atom/Ray Palmer possesses the power to alter his size down to the subatomic level while retaining his natural strength level. This is accomplished by using the remnants of a white-dwarf star made into a belt buckle worn with his costume.”

Belt-buckle-based super powers? Ok by me. I wonder how much fawning from regular-sized ladies he gets when he’s li’l. He probably hears a lot of, “oh, I could just put him in my pocket and take him home,” or “isn’t he the sweetest li’l thing?” I bet when that happens, he makes an expression that looks like this:

Ladies, please. I’m a grown man.

They gloss over the ending, so I can, too!
Batman, Atom, and Robin show up. They all focus on stopping the train, which they succeed at with teamwork and the script. The scientists create some kind of counter-balance blob of yellow and orange, and everything turns out fine.

Then, Atom says he’s all tuckered out, and pretends to take a nap on Batman’s shoulder. It was awkward and I felt weird watching it.

Health Segment
There’s a fire in a neighborhood, and fire trucks roar down the street. Wonder Woman swoops in from out of nowhere, as she is wont to do, to talk to the kid who called 911 (and not help out with the fire). The kid says he had some trouble calling the fire department. Wonder Woman has the answer! She tells him he needs an emergency contact list. This is the example she shows him:

So, kids, when you get home, take a permanent marker and scrawl a bunch of contact information directly on the wall – Wonder Woman says to!

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

I’m having a giveaway! I didn’t say it was something good.

It’s a shell-abration! I’m very conch-ious of what my readers want, and enough of them wanted the chance to win something without having to spend a (sand)dollar. Specifically, they said they wanted this:

I jokingly said I would give this away as a punishment, but enough of you weirdos wonderful people told me you must have it, so I went back and bought it. The lady I bought it from told me they were really popular, and I kept my “you’re shitting me” to myself since I was also buying it and it wouldn’t make much sense to exclaim my shock. She also showed me that some of the shell creatures are cheating:

What a story it tells! Layer upon layer of character development. For example, why do only two of the creatures have a Diet Coke? Were the other two not thirsty? Were they not offered a drink? My imagination dances with the possibilities. Fun fact: the two cheaters are the ones without a beverage. What could that mean!?

There’s even more rich history to this amazing specimen. I was given the box it came in and some old newspapers to protect it, but in packing it back in, some of the cards came loose and I had to glue them back. So it’s kind of like I made it myself, for you. And, since the cards may fall off again, I’m adding a second prize!

I know, it’s almost too much to handle. Just try to breathe.

Seeing as how this amazing cheaply made fragile treasure is so special, I want you to WANT it. I want you to request that you be buried with it when you die, or build it up in the minds of your family members so that they fight over it when you die. I want you to do crazy things like tell people not to look directly at it.  I want it to have a stocking at Christmas, even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. I want whatever room you keep it in (if not in a safe deposit box) to be called the “Shell Poker Game Trinket Room,” and I want you to charge admission, and I want there to be a red velvet rope at the door. I want, when you get it and it inevitably has some cards unglued, to scream at the heavens, fists in the air, tears streaming down your cheeks, yelling “WHYYYYYYYYYYY!” Or, don’t. I can’t really tell you what to do with it once it’s yours. Those are just suggestions.

My point is, if you seriously don’t want it, I don’t want to burden bless you with something you don’t want. But, I love comments like Pac-Man loves little white pellets, so I don’t want to keep you from leaving a comment. I’ve decided to add a code word that will exempt you from the drawing that will reveal the chosen one whose task it will be to guard this treasure with their life (again, just a suggestion). That code word is “beautiful.” So, if you DON’T WANT THIS PRICELESS ARTIFACT, use the word in your comment. For example;

“Wow, that thing is beautiful, I really hope I win it.”

See? Easy, straight-forward, no confusion.

If you DO want it, just leave a comment using any word/s in the English language other than “beautiful.” Then, I will randomly choose a name and change someone’s life forever. You have a week to leave a comment.

I will try my best not to break this thing before then.

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep5C – “Super Friends vs Super Friends”

Season 2, Episode 5, Storyline C – “Super Friends vs Super Friends”

Original Airdate: October 8, 1977

Short Synopsis: “Somewhere in the vast Pacific Ocean, a naval exploration ship lowers a diving bell with two Navy scientists. But, little do they realize, they too are being studied.” – Narrator

Basically, there’s a whole underwater civilization of aquatic creatures who have never been discovered (*cough* Aquaman *cough*) and they like to collect specimens they find to fight each other for their amusement in a giant underwater arena. Here’s what they look like.

The Super Friends staff must have had entire teams of animators whose sole purpose was to try and come up with new ways to draw under water humanoids. These things are from “the long-forgotten city of Oceana, sister city to Atlantis.” I guess I’ll call them Oceanians. No, scratch that, I’m calling them Glubbity Glubs.

And then, of course, the Super Friends are captured one by one like flies to a flytrap.
I was going to explain how every single one of the Super Friends end up trapped by the Glubbity Glubs, but does it really matter? You can pretty much sum it up with: they did something stupid and then were paralyzed by an “invisible muscle control ray.”

Aquaman gets captured first (ineptly trying to help that diving bell), then ALL THE REST of them are taken in one fell swoop.


And, it took the Glubbity Glubs to finally say what we’re all thinking: “These surface dwellers are even more powerful than the other.” They mean Aquaman, in case you weren’t sure.

The Glubbity Glubs are a hard race to please.
When we’re shown the arena for the first time, a Glubbity Glub is fighting aaaaaa…Parrot Lobster?

The crowd shouts things like, “More action! More excitement! The monsters always win!”

Tyranus, the supreme ruler of the Glubbity Glubs, is worried about his precarious position as tyrant, “If I’m to remain in supreme power, they must be constantly entertained.”

He then announces to the crowd: “People of Oceana, your boredom is at an end! BEHOLD!”

And then they BOO. Y’all, it was awesome.

Then, Tyranus unveils the monster Aquaman is to fight, which looks like a Vulture-Crab-Turtle:

He then assures everyone, “Tomorrow’s games will thrill even the most bored among you!” I love that the biggest problems the Glubbity Glubs face is boredom.

Get it on, bang a gong.
The plan is to have all the Super Friend fight each other until one remains, then that one will fight Vulture-Crab-Turtle.

I knew I probably wouldn’t get to see the Super Friends actually fight each other to the death. I’m not that dumb. But, I was hoping, at least, maybe there could be some bickering. Like, Superman starts arguing about Batman always sitting in his chair, or Wonder Woman snapping and telling everyone she’s “up here,” I mean, that’s not too much to ask for, is it?

Yes, it is. Their plan is to fake a fight and then have one fake-standing at the end. This is necessary because of the muscle control rays – they are all helpless to them. Guess who volunteers to be the winner?

Foolproof plan right there.

They start out by swinging at each other from afar, kind of like that fight move “The Windmill.” Look how convincing and vicious it is:

Then, Wonder Woman lassos Batman and Robin together as I’m sure they requested.

And, um, this happens.

The image of Wonder Woman winking at Aquaman is going to haunt me the rest of my life.

And, finally, this.

Now that the one person even the Glubbity Glubs thought didn’t stand a chance has won the giant fake fight, he has to fight Vulture-Crab-Turtle.

WTF Screenshots
This is my favorite – a barrel full of pretend-dead super heroes at the Ocean Disposal. Brilliant.

Batman needs to get back to the gym.

Will Aquaman Beat the Monster? Do any of us care?
Aquaman, who was all, “I wanna win the fake fight, my specialty is fighting Vulture-Crab-Turtles! I wanna win, waaaaaahhhh!” finds it a little harder than he anticipated.

First, he gets stuck in a claw.

Then, the tank they’re in breaks, and way more water than it could have possibly held floods the arena, and the monster starts attacking everyone.

The Super Friends save everyone’s ass and the Glubbity Glubs learn their lesson.

So here’s the age-old question: who do you think would win an actual fight? I’m pretty sure it would come down to Superman and Wonder Woman. He’d probably be the final victor unless she had some kryptonite or fear gas up her sleeve. Wait, she doesn’t have sleeves. Superman, then. What do you think?

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

Pictures from the beach, which means no shots of the ocean or sand, obviously.

We had a great week at the beach last week. Here’s just a few pictures from the trip, which really don’t have anything to do with the actual beach, of course.

But I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t.
Calm down proud mama, the girl’s wearing swimmies, not accepting a PhD.
Who names a dog grooming business this? You do understand the kind of services I think you’ll provide to my dog, don’t you?
There was what I can only assume is a ‘Funny Farm’ fan at the putt putt place.

There’s a lot going on here. First, I didn’t know Stevie Nicks is a mermaid. Second, I hope her spine wasn’t too injured from what seems to be a terrible body-twisting accident and that the fluid build-up in her too-long left arm goes down. Third, someone please paint a more supportive shell bikini top on her. I’ve read most women don’t know their own correct bra size, obviously it’s not much different in the mermaid community.