The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep5B – “Vandals”

Season 2, Episode 5, Storyline B – “Vandals”

Original Airdate: October 8, 1977

Short Synopsis: “Carrie, our brave Super Friends episode re-capper, sees that it is a Wonder Twins cautionary tale, and with the sad, pathetic whimper of a kicked puppy, she crawls into the corner to rock back and forth” – Imagined Narrator

We all know how this goes.

Wonder Twins Cautionary Tales Players

The Bad Idea Generator
This week it’s Spence, who wants to “have some kicks” by vandalizing the school. I’m pretty sure by the 1970s teens didn’t say “have some kicks” anymore, which furthers the constant suspicion that none of these people in these cautionary tales are actual teenagers.

 

The Bad Idea Supporter
This character is optional. But, when utilized, always agrees and then gives examples. In this case, “yeahhh, like tearin’ Old Man Morrison’s print shop apart!” Again, “old man?” Notice the amazing 1970s leisure robe collar. That’s the true sign of an enabler. Or, someone who loves leisure – NEVER BOTH.

 

The Snitch
“Cool it, you guys! That’s not ‘kicks,’ that’s vandalism!” Voice of reason/wet blanket. Always shocked that their seemingly shitty friends are doing shitty things. This week’s snitch is Spence’s sister, Laurel. Spence tells her to “buzz off.” And also to go down to the malt shop and find some daddy-os her own age.

 

The Snitch always calls the Teen Trouble Alert from a payphone. Always.

The Wonder Twins do two things: poorly superhero and recreational sports.
Every episode, before the Trouble Alert sounds, we get a scene of Zan, Jayna, and Gleek participating in some kind of activity you usually only do on vacation or at camp. This week, it’s volleyball.

Every time, Zan brags about how good he as at the thing they’re doing. Every. Time. And every time, Jayna lets loose some zinger to put him in his place. Every. Time. And then Gleek interrupts. Every. Time.

And, then, this happens.

Every. Time.*

This time, they chose to portray Zan-as-water like a plump lavender ghost:

Somebody Call Guinness
It looks like Spence and his friends managed to smear the world’s largest booger onto the wall.

I can just see it now in the writer’s room.
Writer 1: But they can’t really learn any lessons from vandalizing other than getting caught. That’s not enough.
Writer 2: I guess we could show how upset all the teachers and students were by the devastation of their institute of learning.
Writer 1: No, that’s too complicated. Let’s have them get on a broken elevator instead.

And, action!

“Jupiters! The elevator could fall at any second!” – Zan

Then, Zan and Jayna do their “magic.”
And, as always, Zan and Jayna use their powers to rescue the stupid teenagers in the weirdest, least affective way imaginable.

That wouldn’t work, dummies, there wouldn’t be enough traction against the “ice pole” to slow down that much weight.

A first! A first!
Here are the teens’ disappointed fathers, who are now responsible for paying for all the damage their kids caused.

And, back to the formula.
Blah blah blah Gleek does something HILARIOUS and everyone laughs away all the property damage and lives almost lost.

Oh, wait, let me fix that for you, Gleek.

That’s better.

*”Every time” may be a slight exaggeration based on the mental trauma experienced by Super Friends watcher.

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.