Everybody calm down. I know, you’re scrambling, trying to come up with something extra special to give your lady on Valentine’s Day. It’s only two days away, but don’t panic, I’m here to help. I’ve curated for you only the best, most finest, lovingest, romantical, guaranteed smooch-getting gifts you can bestow upon your better or lesser half.
The first obvious Valentine’s Day gift is flowers. But I didn’t want to recommend plain ol’ flowers, we all know about those. So I did an Amazon search for “flowers” and this showed up so why not:
The second obvious gift is diamonds. Everyone knows diamonds are a girls best friend, but you know what? That educational song was written way back in the 1940s, well before the development of GIGANTIC LIGHT UP RINGS.
The high class art lover deserves the finest, most classy of gifts.
You want to recognize and embrace her feminine side, but you also want to celebrate her professionalism. DUH:
Has your lady been bothering you to teach her how to change a tire but all you have at your disposal are regular tools and you’re a tool? Have no fear, the solution is here!
Remember that time you and your honey went on that long weekend to Colonial Williamsburg, and she got a terrible case of diarrhea, and you tried to comfort her by saying, “at least we aren’t in the REAL colonial times Williamsburg, you’d be stuck on a chamber pot!” but she really wasn’t amused? Well, remember that moment forever by adding a charm to her charm bracelet!
I’ve found you six wonderful options and statistically there’s no way your lady won’t love at least one of them. Get ready for some major gratitude if you know what I mean (finally, the couch all to yourself!).
Good Valentimes, everybody.
12 thoughts on “There’s still time to disappoint someone for Valentine’s Day!”
If someone gave me that maxi pad pad, I could think of an alternative use for that wrench.
Making “thank you” furniture?
Phew! I got my wife a Smurfette sitting on a toilet giant light up ring for Valentines this year so I should be good.
You’ll never top yourself after that.
I want that light-up ring. Actually…I want one for each finger.
Lots of entertainment for the baby.
What about a simple dinner?!?
Sheesh, women are complicated.
You mean something to hide the toilet charm in, right?
If I received any of those for Valentine’s Day, I might be looking for a new Valentine. Except for the Smurf, because obviously that is the bomb!
Nothing pulls a room together like a smurf.
I have been over-thinking why anyone would want a toilet charm. I can only come up with a plumber or a fecal fetishist. Going to stick with plumber since the mental images are kinder.
Yes, let’s focus on the plumber.