I have a new job!

It’s a Personal Paci Holder. Description: the PPH keeps the paci in place for the employer so that she can continue to sleep and also have something to wrap her arms around and create warmth with.


My technique is flawless, that’s how I earned the position. The only problem is when I have to get up to use the bathroom or if my hand starts cramping. I say I’m pretty sure OSHA allows for not having to piss my pants but my employer says that’s not acceptable to her.

I asked how much it pays and she said, “a-guh,” which is a number I’ve never even heard of so I must be set for life!  I’m not even officially certified, so to be able to start out with such a great beginning salary is really fortunate.

Crap, she just caught me taking a break. Back to work.

11 thoughts on “I have a new job!”

  1. The boss pees her pants so it makes sense to me that she’d not be very understanding of bathroom breaks.

    My child did not care for pacis. I loved mine so much that after it was taken away, I sucked my thumb until I was eight, so I’m grateful that she will have different complexes.

  2. Your new position is very glamorous. When my employer used his paci (binky was our company catch phrase) his jaws were clenched around that thing nothing could pry it from his little face.

  3. Sure, she’s adorably cute now.
    But mark my words, she’s the kind of boss that will get intimately involved in every aspect of your life, until you find yourself thinking “Yes, but how will it affect her?” before every decision!

    (And congrats on the best job ever!)

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