Tag: Pop Culture

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3C – “City in a Bottle”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline C – “City in a Bottle”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Short Synopsis: “Mid City, U.S.A, peaceful, with none of its millions of citizens unaware of the terrible fate being prepared for their grrrreat metropolis.” – Narrator

Ragor and Margor (whose name is later changed to Mangor) have found the “perfect city on the perfect planet” for their experiment. Their experiment?  To shrink a whole city and put it in a bottle, take it to their planet, and then do stuff to it. The transformation becomes permanent after 24 hours (Super Friends love arbitrary deadlines). The Wonder Twins and Gleek happened to be visiting the city that got shrunk.

“Jupiters! I hope it’s not the ‘no deposit no return’ kind!” – Zan, who I hate.

The NASA Space Tracking Station
When the Super Friends find out about the disappearance of the city, they rush to the NASA Space Tracking Station to figure out the trajectory of the UFO. As you can see, they have the most advanced space tracking technology available at the time – a swirly thing on a screen:

They track the UFO to planet X-3, which is made entirely of ice, and is 7 billion miles away, Aquaman and Wonder Woman somehow know off the top of their heads.

I don’t know how else to put this.
The Super Friends go to Cape Canaveral to get a rocket to go to X-3, and the following exchange takes place:

Person who knows about rockets: Well, we’d like to help, Superman, but a rocket powerful enough to get to planet X-3 would take years to build.
Superman: Then we’ll just have to make do with that one!
Rocketman: NO, SUPERMAN, WAIT!
Superman: We can’t wait! All aboard!

And then The Super Friends all climb aboard and hijack a rocket.

This is why I make fun of you on a weekly basis, Super Friends.
Superman is then frozen by Margor and Ragor while he was trying to “reverse the UFO’s gyro-rockets to halt descent.” Frozen into a solid block of ice, the ever astute Superman exclaims:

“It’s some alien form of ice! I….can’t….function!”

The Super Friends look really concerned, watching this happen in their groovy hijacked rocket:

Wonder Woman decides to free ice-chunk Superman by using her lasso to wrap around him and use “the ol’ fire by friction bit.”

Hush little baby, don’t say a word, Mama’s gonna use the ol’ fire by friction bit.

It works, and Superman is lassoed in safely.

Now give it here, you never should have promised to me, give it here.

Meanwhile, in the bottle.
Zan and Jayna find their way down to the very bottom of the bottle. Zan turns into an “ice spear” and Jan turns into a Gorilla. Jan then starts stabbing away at the bottom of the bottle.

They must not have realized that there were probably things like jackhammers available to them since, you know, the whole city was taken.

They then continue to suck and not help from outside the bottle.

De-Coder Part II
SHOCKING NEWS: something went wrong with one of the free hot air balloon baloon rides.

The clue is “what was beside you in the tree, not the bird itself, but what it likes to do.” My guess is “shit white poop.”

Nope, it was “sing.” So the de-coder word was “freezing.”

Let’s Wrap This Up in Pictures
In the span of about four minutes the following happens:

Batman and Robin are menaced by a dragon lobster.

Then, are saved by Wonder Woman and Aquaman, and they all have to share a single homemade wind sled thing.

Zan sends a message to the Super Friends after he climbs up the giant radio (because I never tire of miniature Super Friends).

Zan, Gleek, and Jayna are caught and thrown back in the bottle like they deserve.

Then, it’s revealed that below the ice surface is corrosive acid.

Then, the Super Friends fall for Mangor’s trap and end up stuck inside a cavern.

Then, because Mangor didn’t check for any exits, they make it out of the cavern.

Then, the word “impregnable” is used A LOT.

Then, they get trapped again.

I can’t take it anymore. I didn’t include the Mid City population analysis experiment, the shrunken army Mangor brought back to Earth, the frozen robot soldiers the Super Friends had to fight, Zan and Jayna going into the frozen soldier machine to muck up the mechanism, Superman flying back to earth with Mid City, Superman stealing borrowing a reflector from Metropolis observatory, Superman deflecting the Margor warriors to a distant asteroid, and Superman getting Mid City back into place. I just feel the need to remind everyone that this was about four minutes of story.

What did we learn from all of this? X-3 is a place you neither want to live or visit. And that the third storyline in the All-New Super Friends Hour episodes are painful to summarize. So, so painful.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3B – “Hitchhike”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline B – “Hitchhike”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Safety Segment
This week it’s about approaching dogs properly.

Wonder Woman swings down from her lasso and tells two 1970s children to always let a dog sniff your hand first before you pet him. Of course, if that dog’s owner was anywhere to be found, perhaps Wonder Woman wouldn’t have to spend her time lying in wait in a tree for children and a dog to meet up in the exact right spot.

Short Synopsis: The name of this segment is “Hitchhike,” and it stars the Wonder Twins. But, we all already know they aren’t going to end up in pieces scattered down Route 66, so I’m already disappointed.

“A busy intersection of Central City, where an unsuspecting young girl is about to take a very unpleasant ride.” – Narrator

Jody and Beth are waiting for the bus to take them to the beach (the same way Aquaman gets to the beach). Jody says they should skip the bus, hitchhike and “save the fare for the jukebox.”

Beth, the big square who doesn’t want to be sold as a sex slave, opts for the bus. Jody decides to hitchhike, and what could go wrong? She assures Beth that she “never accepts rides from creeps.” She tells Beth she’ll meet her at “the beach entrance.” What beach are they going to that has a single entrance and a jukebox in the sand?

Jody, you don’t know what “I don’t accept rides from creeps” means, do you?
Within 2 seconds of sticking out her thumb, this guy, who totally doesn’t look in any way like a creep, pulls up and asks her where she’s headed.

She gets in his car without any hesitation. That Jody thought she had a good head on her shoulders, until it ended up in a bowling bag in that guy’s trunk. I’m just kidding, he didn’t decapitate her, this is a Saturday morning children’s show.

“Later, at the beach.” – Narrator
Jody’s ride does take her all the way to the beach, right up to the entrance, where Beth responsibly awaits.

Beth notices Jody in the car of the non-creep, who has told Jody that she won’t be going to the beach today. Beth uses the nearby pay phone to call for help. So, Beth would have had more money for the jukebox, but Jody screwed her over.

WTF Screenshots
Y’all, I hate the Wonder Twins. I can’t stand their stupid purple uniforms and Jayna’s dumb soft serve hairdo and Zan’s crappy water transformations. I hate:

Their stupid Teen Trouble alert wrist watches.

Their dumb travel arrangement.

Their wacky tennis matches.

The problem I have with the Wonder Twins is that, unlike The Justice League characters, they don’t have a rich history of heroism to ruin so I can laugh at it. No, they sprung forth fully formed and sucking, so that takes a lot of the fun out of it for me.

But once Jody’s on that beach, “Undercover Angel” blasting from the Jukebox, it’ll all be worth it.
The perfect gentleman slows down due to a winding road, and Jody takes advantage, tossing herself out of the moving vehicle.

Perfect Gentleman chases her down.

Zan and Jayna to the rescue.
Blah blah blah, the guy, who turned out to be a total creep (surprise!) ends up in Zan’s “ice jail.”

Then, Jody assures everyone she’s learned her lesson about hitchhiking, and Gleek is chased by a seagull.

De-Coder Part 1

Superman shows up at a place giving away free hot air balloon baloon rides. Wait a second, didn’t we JUST learn that free rides only lead to being chased down by a dirty creep? Now I’m completely confused. And, I would think that you should never, ever accept a free balloon ride if the person offering it can’t spell “balloon” correctly.

The clue is “the price of the hot air baloon rides.” Oh, wow. Ok. Let me think.Oh, geez. I’m just glad I have a whole week to think about it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

If I Didn’t Already Know I was a Giant Nerd

My birthday was yesterday. I share my birthday with the whole earth, which, as an introvert, is pretty nice because I can just hang back while the earth gets all the attention.

On the occasions where I get multiple presents (mainly my birthday and Christmas), sometimes the stars align and I get a haul of the things I truly wanted and like. Not stupid clothes, or dumb stuff I need, but things that reflect the kind of person I am, which is a humongous immature nerd.

Yesterday was a reminder that not only am I a humongous immature nerd, but I was lucky to find another one to marry.

Exhibit A: We decided to go grab some lunch. Right before we left, Tom filled up his mug with the last of his coffee and we got in the car. He placed his coffee mug in it’s holder, and next to it sat my big-ass mug that lives in my car, which I drink water from because I’m a non-coffee drinking square:

Exhibit B: Tom bought me something that he thought might be more for him than me, and to acknowledge this possibility, he decorated the wrapping paper:

This is a Simpsons reference.

I opened my presents (some from Tom, some from my Mom, and Mom’s gifts were part of the reason the haul seemed especially nerdy; she usually gets me the less eccentric things I ask for). I stepped back and took in the sight of my spoils, and it was good.

1, The Mighty Boosh, the complete series DVD
2. Twin Peaks, complete series DVD (this was the one wrapped in a Simpsons reference)
3. The Joke Shop from the Department 56 A Christmas Story village
4. A Christmas Story leg lamp Christmas lights
5. A birdhouse in the shape of Mad Hatter’s hat from the Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”
6. Book 6 of The Walking Dead
7. A lottery ticket. If I win, obviously the money will be spent on many nerdy endeavors.

Do liking any of these individual things make me a giant nerd? No. Even though you might think they would, they wouldn’t. It is the volume of it that makes me a giant nerd. You get a Mad Hatter birdhouse, some sensible slacks, a pair of earrings, and a blender, and it just doesn’t say the same thing when it’s paired with these six other things. I did get a 12″ frying pan, so my mom got me one traditionally useful thing. But, I plan on using it as a weapon during the inevitable zombie take-over as much as I plan to make scrambled eggs in it.

This haul was also a nice reflection of the nerd balance I like to strike in my life. A Christmas Story and Alice in Wonderland needs to be paired with a dead teenager wrapped in plastic and the zombie apocalypse. Life is about variety, am I right?

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3A – “Invasion of the Hydronoids”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline A – “Invasion of The Hydronoids”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Short Synopsis: See, I told you Robin doesn’t count as a person when they “pair off” for emergencies.

I’ve gotten spoiled. Usually, the narrator provides a wonderfully cheesy synopsis I can quote that spares me from actually describing what’s happening. But this time, there wasn’t one. My guess is that he’s asleep in the corner of the sound booth with a bottle of booze in his hand. So, I have to do it my self:

“In the deep recesses of the ocean, strange things are afoot. Splashing into the water with the force of a thousand toddlers taking a bath, is a mysterious space ship, with mysterious creatures aboard.”- Carrie

They are the Hydronoids. They have landed on earth to execute “Plan X, to erase the minds of the earthlings.’

Alright, Hydronoids, you got me there.
Just when I was about to make fun of another race of creatures who love pink weapons of mass destruction,  one of the Hydronoids calls it “The Mind Eraser.” Erasers are pink, ergo, this gadget should be pink. You win, Hydronoids.

The Mind Eraser flashes a green light (should be pink, duh), and then everyone in the area turns green and their minds are blank. Sooooo, zombies who don’t eat people.

Aquaman is as surprised as anyone that he may have something to do this week.
“The only clue is some seaweed found on the docks where the glow came from.” – Man relaying the news.

We all know Aquaman’s no dummy – he can put two and two (or plate and plate) together with the best of them: “SEAWEED! That means the trouble was caused by something from the ocean, my territory.” – Aquaman

I know someone who’s getting ice cream on the way home after!

Hydronoids, you only had to wait 30 years, this shit would have taken care of itself.
The reason they want to erase all the humans’ brains is because “they will be unable to continue their development of their space travel.”

On the other hand.
The Hydronois don’t want the humans to eventually ruin hydro-planets like they’re ruining their own ocean. The episode is set in the Gulf Coast. *cough*

YES!
Four minutes in, and look who’s turned green and can blame his blank mind on the eraser?

You know, tomorrow is my birthday, for real. I think this may have been the universe’s present to me.

And now Aquaman has been programmed to fight Batman and Robin.
Universe, you’re too kind! I can’t take this many presents!

Aquaman sends a school of barracudas after Batman and Robin. Barracudas lie low in the weeds, ambush people, and then bring them to their knees (source: Barracuda by Heart).

Batman and Robin need to think fast! And, just when my little heart couldn’t take anymore, they bust out their inflatable dolls.

Oh, Batman, you’re too much.
“Quick, Robin, we’ve got to return Aquaman’s mind.” – Batman

With no Wendy and Marvin, who will get stuck on ships with villains now?
Batman, Robin, and Aquaman, that’s who. Aquaman gets his “mind” back, but then the Hydronoids decide to flee with the Super Friends on their face-shaped ship. Aquaman has whales pile on the ship so it can’t go anywhere.

“Looks like you’ve been caught, hook, line, and spaceship.” – Aquaman, who DOES have his mind back at the time.

Then, the whole thing wraps up with some kind of half-lecture about keeping oceans clean and then Robin sums it up: “Holy unfair exchanges, I’d rather have my mind than a tuna sandwich, any day.” A tuna sandwich any day, indeed.

Just because it’s my birthday, doesn’t mean you leave empty-handed.
I made this for you. You’re welcome.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.