This picture, it screams
“maple syrup rampage, y’all!”
No one will be spared.
I’m not going to
write a haiku about her
diabetes stuff
I will, though, write a
haiku about butter ’cause
it may calm her down
Mmm, butter butter
Butter butter butter, mmm
Mmm, butter butter
Is she asleep, yet?
Shh, everyone slowly
back out of the room.
my biggest fear is
I will fall asleep near her
and she will eat me
Brilliant!
MMMMMM butter butter.
Perfect.
It’s like a lullaby.
I can’t speak for you
But if gooey butter cake
goes away I will die.
I’ve seen a picture of that gooey butter cake. I can tell it’s something I can never try or else I’ll have a serious problem.
Number 1: Has anyone ever checked? Because Paula seems as if she might have formerly been known as Paul. Just saying.
Number 2: In this pic, she looks like one of those frill-neck lizards about to attack. Hid the children, y’all!!
Oh, and BUTTERRRRRRRR.
A velociraptor!! Exactly!!!
Exactly! She looks completely maniacal. I don’t think the photographer survived.
Butter! Love it!
So does Paula. Unless you believe the article, which says she only eats her own food 30 days out of the year.
Well, when you eat 28 pounds of butter in a sitting, all you need is 30 meals a year. The rest of the year you hibernate in a diabetic coma.
Bwah! I bet she does hibernate! She films a years worth of promotional appearances and TV shows and then returns to the sleepy marsh of Savannah.
The other (very real) possibility is that she is from another planet, and the word year means something entirely different there…
I think she may have been drunk in that picture, and just completely missed pouring the syrup straight down her throat…
Yeah, they should have had her drinking it from a straw.