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The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep4C – “Day of the Plant Creatures”

Season 2, Episode 4, Storyline C – “Day of the Plant Creatures”

Original Airdate: October 3, 1977

Short Synopsis: “Big Cypress Swamp, deep in the Florida Everglades, where all is peaceful and silent, except for the scattered cries of swamp creatures.” – Narrator

My guess is that the swamp creatures are crying because they know the Super Friends are going to visit.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a meteor falls into the swamp.

The radiation (I’m assuming it’s radiation since it’s glowing red stuff) causes the local fauna to become creatures straight out of Scooby Doo.

They then make their way to the closest town, Cypressville, and scare the shit out of two locals and a whole truckload of chickens. The chickens get loose, and, well, here, you’ll just have to see it:

Not only can they convert chickens to their Swamp-Monster-based-religion, they can turn humans, too:

“What is this strange contagious life force that turns people into zombie-like plant creatures?” – Narrator

In an obvious, heroic attempt to pad the episode, the Super Friends spend a bit of time trying to figure out where a radioed distress message came from because it cut off before he could tell them.

They all eventually end up in Cypressville, where Batman analyzed the plants left behind (don’t worry, he handled it with his “batgloves,” so that kept him safe), while Superman and Wonder Woman flew overhead to see if they could figure out what’s going on.

Yes! What’d I say?
“It appears to be some kind of growing, cosmic radiation” – Batman

“Something has given these leaves a strange form of life.” – Aquaman

I’m so glad we could get down to the true scientific explanation of the issue.

WTF Screenshots
Superman, Robin, and Batman pose for an early 90s hip-hop/R&B album.

Yet again, Zan and Jayna prove that they really haven’t thought about a consistent, solid travel plan. Zan turns into a rain cloud so they can go warn Florida City that the swamp things are coming. Jayna turns into a pigeon, where she’s eventually attacked by a hawk. Unfortunately, she gets away.

Somebody must have stepped on this poor man’s binoculars.

De-Coder Part II
Aquaman returns in his swimming pool to give us the second clue to the secret word. The second clue is the letter “e.” There’s also a third clue, because Aquaman just has to be special and different.


He’s rowing around in an inflatable boat and the clue is “The thing that’s helping me pick up speed. Sometimes this is called a paddle, but there’s another name for it. And, that name is the clue we’re looking for.” ALRIGHT, just shut.up!

I’m surprised he didn’t just flub the whole thing and say, “The clue is meteor. Oh, oops! That’s the word, not the clue.”

Oh, you thought none of the Super Friends would be contaminated by zombie plant radiation? You clearly haven’t been watching enough Super Friends.

Later, in Aquaman’s Under Sea Lab
They trap a plant creature and put him in a bell jar in the lab and try and develop an antidote for the plant-ing.

Aquaman and the Wonder Twins are, of course, completely stumped, so Aquaman contacts Professor Takamoto at Gotham University to bail him out.

Turns out they need florium, which is only found at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.  In case you were wondering, this is what florium looks like:

Good thing he brought that little crowbar.

You’re Not Doing That Right
I just moved, and they’re doing this all wrong. You need to protect them with furniture pads and really maximize the space of the van by stacking in rows, floor to ceiling. You don’t just toss them, they’ll get damaged that way.

This is Superman and Wonder Woman’s way of trying to clear the city of Plant Creatures. Notice they’re still infected, which is why they can touch the creatures – they have nothing to lose.

Oh, thank God, it’s over.
Aquaman shows up with the antidote and sprays all the infected Super Friends and the meteor with it, and all goes back to normal.

This is the third storyline, which is the longest, most cramped story in the hour-long episodes. In the end, when they’re screwing around at the Headquarters and letting us know what the lesson is, Gleek usually ends up doing something to make everyone laugh. This time he picked a fight with a plant and then got scared and ran away, and his tail spelled the same sentiment I often feel while watching the C storylines:

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

How Moving and Cat Poop are Related

We officially no longer live in our house. But, it’s still our house, which means we still have a mortgage. While our renters wait for their house to sell, and while they decide if they want to buy our house, we don’t have an official home. We’re staying with my mom while we wait for everything to straighten itself out. My mom is generous to have us and while I don’t mind being home-home, you still don’t want to be in your mid-thirties and living with your mom even though it makes the most sense and reduces the amount of times we have to move our stuff. I just don’t want to hate my stuff more than I already do.

I think one of the reasons cats have such a holier-than-thou attitude is because they've seen the way dogs react to their poop.

What does this have to do with cat poop? When you have cats AND dogs, you have to spend a surprising amount of time trying to figure out how to “protect” cat poop. If you have cats and dogs, you also probably know the term for cat poop that is used to describe a dog’s maddening love of it – Tootsie Rolls.

Every time you move with your dogs and cats you have to re-figure out how to keep those precious tootsie rolls from constant threat. I think it’s one of life’s strangest predicaments. For us, the solution usually involves a closet and a baby gate.

When we move, I forget about this predicament because we did a really good job of solving the problem in our previous abode, like when people let their guards down during times of peace. Of course, it’s only a matter of time (that amount of time is easily measurable – it is the exact amount of time it takes for the cat to take his first shit in the new house) before I’m reminded that a fortress must be built around the Kingdom of Litter.

Our dog Ed is a turd connoisseur. I think he was feral at some point, which probably started his terrible hunger for poo, as it may have been his available meals. If Pizza Hut sold a Turd Lover’s Pizza, he’d eat it every day. His favorite soup would be turdle soup. He’d be disappointed by a pu pu platter. We don’t let him pick what he has for dinner, is what I’m saying.

He has the well-earned nickname “Turd Burglar.” He’ll burgle turds at every opportunity. Turds tremble in fear when they sense he is near. Seriously, the dude loves turds. That’s why, when Tom wanted to practice on his new photo editing program, he chose to create this:

You may be a world-class turd burglar, Ed, but this time the local tootsie rolls will only have folklore legends to pass down from generation to generation. “Hair as orange as John Boehner’s skin and a collar as green as grass, and he’d just as soon eat you as look at you.”

Rest easy, sweet turds, you’re safe for now. Turds in the backyard, I’m afraid you’re on your own.

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read to be read at yeahwrite.me
Adding this post to the Yeah Write weekly challenge. I had a lot of fun last week reading new blogs. You can lurk, hangout, or enter a post in the weekly challenge, then vote for your 5 favorites. Go check it out.

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep4B – “Drag Race”

Season 2, Episode 4, Storyline B – “Drag Race”

Original Airdate: October 3, 1977

Safety Segment

Batman and Robin are in their batjet and they notice a skateboarder rolling down a steep hill. They must have been flying pretty low to the ground. – isn’t that unsafe?

This young man has lost control and ended up in the middle of the street. Oh no! Who’s going to save him? Batman tells Robin to quickly get the “batrope,” and then, they drive up IN THE BATMOBILE and save him.

Short Synopsis: “As another day of study ends at Central High School.” – Narrator

As another day of study ends at Central High School, what, Narrator? He must have drifted off to sleep, that sweet, drunk old man.


We are introduced to Gary and his friends. Gary has a fast car that “will beat any car around.” Lo and behold, just when Gary is bragging about his wheels, another car that makes those sounds that fast cars make that also sound like they’re about to break down, rolls up.

“Think you can take me?” Gary says in that tone, you all know what I’m talking about. If you’ve seen Grease, you know what I mean.

“We’ll see at this Saturday’s Drag Meet,” says the unnamed guy. I didn’t know there were drag “meets,” like track and field or swimming. I don’t know anything about cars or racing, so it could either be my ignorance or Super Friends just making things up. Each are equally possible.

Gary, You Rebel!
Gary doesn’t want to wait until Saturday’s Drag Meet, he wants to have his own “unofficial drag meet right here.”

Say what? I would never drag race unless the results would be officially recognized by the NDMA – National Drag Meet Association (I made that up). I wouldn’t want to miss out in the annual “Drag Racers We Lost This Year” montage if I were to die in the unofficial race. The NDMA is very serious about that kind of stuff.

Then, the naysayer friend with an ascot butts in and informs them that “drag racing is against the law, AND you could get killed.” Ascot Doug, who does not look like a teenager:

It’s hard to take people seriously when they wear an ascot. The only exception is Michael Corleone – if he tells you not to drag race, don’t do it.

Gary doesn’t listen to Ascot Doug, and they decide to race anyway

WTF Screenshot
Did Gary just get rescued from a deserted island? The ragged cut-offs and missing shoes seem to suggest that. What an amazing attention to detail the writers and animators give to the back story of these characters.

Ascot Doug is a Snitch

How loud is a yelling bucket of water?
Zan and Jayna arrive after the race has already started, of course. They fly over the noisily racing cars and yell at them to stop. You know what may have worked? The sight of an eagle carrying a monkey with a yelling bucket of water, but they were above the cars and couldn’t be seen.

Gary’s car ends up in that classic bind – teetering over the edge of a canyon.

Zan and Jayna turn into an elephant and an “ice bridge.” Instead of just making the ice bridge right below the car, Zan lines himself up to the right of it. The passengers get out safely, but the car plummets into the “excavation site.” I’m sure this was solely done so that a lesson could be taught.

“Somehow winning the race wasn’t worth it, especially after losing my car.” – A humbled Gary, who still felt he needed to point out that he won the race.

De-Coder, Part One
Oh, boy, it’s Aquaman. He seems to be trespassing in a local swimming pool, here to give us the first part of the secret word.


“I’m just checking the swimming lines for the Super Friends Swim Event.”

Is this what they’ve come to? Creating swimming events for Aquaman to win just so he feels good about himself?


He says the first clue is one of the last two words in this sign. For those of us who can’t read, he even announces that it’s either “meet” or “today.” That’s not a clue, dude, that’s giving us a 50% chance at guessing. Aquaman can’t do anything right.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

The Thing You Find When Packing Pt. 3

During my senior year of college, I decided that Tom and I should make a customized game of Trivial Pursuit. We would use the board and the pie pieces from the regular game, but would write questions of our own.

Being that it was my idea and I was still in school, and, thus, since I was a bad student, had lots of time on my hands, I got my questions written. Tom, who had a job and I’m not sure even agreed to the idea, never wrote his.

And, so, these set of questions, which are in and of themselves a kind of time capsule, have traveled with us on our many moves. I find these things every time we move, and every time, I get farther away from the knowledge, both personal and trivial, I held in my mind when I wrote them.

I’m not 100% sure what the categories are, my best guess is: W (no clue, maybe Wildcard), MP (Motion Pictures), CT (Carrie and Tom), S (Stories – the TV shows we watched), F (Friends and Family), R (Random – basically my opinions). Here are some example questions and answers:

Q: According to the man on The Learning Channel, what is bigfoot NOT like?
A: Hollywood Neanderthals

Q: Where did I give you the heart attack punch?*
A: At the Main Street intersection on the way to El Rodeo’s

Q: What lie did my sister once tell her teacher about me?
A: That I was hearing impaired.

Q: What does it mean if it’s green?**
A: You have a sinus infection.

Q: Who deserves an Oscar more, Glenn Close or Morgan Freeman?
A: Morgan Freeman (he has since won an Oscar – I was right!)

Q: When do you know it’s about to stop snowing? ***
A: When the flakes get bigger.

And now, they will be packed away again, so that the next time they are found, I better be A. fucking 30 years older or B. dead, and my children and/or nieces and nephews are going through my stuff, cursing me for keeping crap like this. Sorry, future grown children.

*Tom made some joke at my expense that was worthy of being punched, and I punched him kind of up under the ribs and he had to take a moment because his heart hurt. I’ve yet to be able to re-create it.

**”It” is snot. This is something my mom taught me. She is not a doctor.

***As far as I can tell, this is an urban legend that began and ended in the cul-de-sac I grew up on. If anyone else held the belief that when the flakes get big and fat, it will stop snowing, please let me know.

 

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep4A – “Doctor Fright”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline A – “Doctor Fright”

Original Airdate: October 1, 1977

Short Synopsis: “A warm summer night falls on Metropolis, but, unknown to the citizens below, a strange visitor is headed their way.” – Narrator

This strange visitor rides around in a purple blimp with henchmen dressed as sailors.

Doctor Fright is his name, and fear is his game. Fear in the form of gas his blimp releases, which causes everyone to panic.

Doctor Fright is not what you’d imagine he’d look like. He looks to me a lot like Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes, with a little bit of Inspector Gadget thrown in.

The Super Friends are told of this dastardly deed, and Superman and Wonder Woman are dispatched to try and help.

You know, if you’re going to basically have a villain with the same M.O. as Batman’s Scarecrow, why not just have it be Scarecrow? While I know it wouldn’t have allowed me to mention the name Benedict Cumberbatch, which is one of my most favorite names, I don’t see how that would have had any bearing in the 1970s when this episode was being made. So weird.

For a man named after it, you don’t seem to understand the concept of fear.
Doctor Fright is making everyone afraid of everything because he thinks when people are afraid, they won’t commit crimes. “Total peace on earth,” he exclaims to himself.

I know I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life, but even the brutal beatings I’ve seen bees and spiders take at the hands of screaming people has shown me that terrible things can happen when people are afraid.

WTF Screenshot
Superman thinks he can pick up the location of the blimp with his super hearing. He seems quite surprised that it worked.

I always think they can’t top themselves, and then they do.
You know, sometimes, I sit here, watching this ridiculous show, and I think, maybe I could be doing more with my time. Maybe I could help people, or plant a tree, or volunteer more. But, then, while I ponder my life choices, Superman gets sprayed with fear gas, and becomes a quivering blob of wimp because he’s afraid of a house cat.

And my faith is restored.

Superman no longer has any chance with Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman comes to Superman’s aid:

And then, she has to climb a ladder with him hanging on her back because he’s afraid of heights.

Then, they go to the Metropolis Science Institute. Somehow, the scientist there knows exactly what the antidote is and gives it to Superman, who is just a mess after the ordeal of seeing a cat and climbing a ladder.

Then, he vaccinates them or something, so that they are no longer affected by the gas.

The Real Hero
Superman and Wonder Woman, freshly inoculated, show up at the blimp again. When Doctor Fright tries to spray them with the gas, again, this time it doesn’t work, and they turn the tables on him, even though that probably should have happened the first time too since they’re in a small enclosed space:

Wonder Woman climbs the Fear Gas thermos and dumps in some neutralizing pellets that the scientist gave her.

So, three cheers for the actual hero of this story, the nameless Metropolis Science Institute scientist!

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.