Author: Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3D – “Space Emergency”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline D – “Space Emergency”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Magic, Part 1
I know we’ve already seen it before, but I still need to take a moment and dwell on the fact the Superfriends (one word on this sign, two in the show) have their own “Magic Theater.” Where is it located? Is it in the Hall of Justice? Do they do shows? Can you buy an annual pass? What the hell?

"This magic show sucks!"

This week, Aquaman tells us we will amaze our friends with this magic trick. All we need is:

“We know that paper is easily torn. Even thin wood is much stronger than paper, usually, but these news pages can cause these boards to break.” Then, he takes a “stick,” beats the board with it, and breaks the board.  He says he’ll let us know how he can “break this board as the result of the way I put this paper on it.” If this isn’t making any sense to you, it’s because it doesn’t make any sense. As far as I can tell, this is the “magic trick” –

I have a feeling he’s showing us how to do the magic trick first, and then we’ll find out what the end result/illusion is later. But, he didn’t say that. Aquaman is a horrible teacher.

Short Synopsis: This week is called “Space Emergency.” Guess what!? There’s an emergency in space! Some astronauts, their shuttle, and Sky Lab are all in trouble – sirens are blazing, there is smoke and shaky camera work – oh no! They’re heading toward “deep space” with only an hour of life support left.

What are you, idiots!? You NEVER press the Lock and Vector buttons at the same time.

Hawkman and Hawkgirl
This week’s special guests are Hawkman and Hawkgirl. They’re teaming up with Wonder Woman.

I was going to complain about the man/girl name assignments, then, I saw on Wikipedia that she re-named herself Hawkwoman in the early 1980s. Miss Hawkwoman if you’re nasty.

This is their obscene airplane:

The Sky Lab is Headed Straight for the Sun!
The space shuttle and Sky Lab get separated because of the incompetent Vector/Lock button pushing, making this Space EMERGENCIES, now.

Hawkman lets Wonder Woman know that Sky Lab is hurtling toward the sun and Wonder Woman responds with:

“I’ve got to reach it before tremendous heat destroys it.” – Wonder Woman

And they don’t respond with, “yeah, no shit,” which is the most unrealistic thing about this whole episode.

Magic, Part II
I want my money back. I didn’t pay for this magic trick lesson, but I should still get my money back. I’m actually filled with rage right now.

Aquaman explains the magic trick is that when he hits the board with the stick and the newspaper isn’t laid over the board, the board just flips off the table, but when the newspaper is laid over the board, like so:

THEN, that allows the board to be broken because there’s enough resistance against the newspaper.

Except, you know what? YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE NEWSPAPER ON THE FIRST BOARD WHEN YOU BROKE IT. I hate you, animators. I hate you, Aquaman. That is not a magic trick.

WTF Screenshots
Forget the space emergency, Wonder Woman, and The Hawks, what’s going on with this guy? I want to know his story. What’s in his pocket? Maybe his butt itches? Who is he?

How does Wonder Woman save the Sky Lab? “Flying in circles at hypersonic speed, Wonder Woman creates an artificial planet with grrrravity.” – Narrator.  Yeah, sure she did.

While trying to help the space shuttle by attaching “an umbilical lifeline” to it, Hawkman runs into some trouble. “I’ve got to protect myself from these meteors!” Top of my list of ideas: wear a shirt.

Health
“You know, Robin, quite often people choke on a piece of food they’re eating.” –Batman

And then, this happened:

You’ve been a great audience, good night!

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

The Things You Find When Packing 1

I should really be packing right now. We’re at that stage where not everything is packed, but a lot of it is, so you reach this false sense of security while also being stressed out by the mess. I look around and marvel that anyone ever actually moves all their stuff from one place to another.

We’ve been going through junk drawers and boxes of paper. This has unearthed a few gems.

In the junk drawer in the kitchen, I found this IOU that Tom made me for my birthday several years ago. We often joke that I can get fixated on something and feel that one thing will set off a string of events that will then lead to me being a capable, responsible person (moving, coincidentally, is one of these things, as well). In the case of this IOU, that thing was a filter that attaches to a ceiling fan. Tom, as you already know, has an excellent sense of humor and luckily I have one about myself:

Time has passed, and I never ended up with the ceiling fan thingy, and I can’t exactly remember how it would have led to never-ending happiness, but I’m sure my case was airtight and we’ll never know for sure if I was right because I didn’t get one.

I was going to share everything I’ve found so far, but if I don’t start packing again, my generous sister and brother-in-law, who are coming to help us move, are going to slaughter me with my still-unpacked knives.

So, more uncovered gems to come.

 

I liked The Godfather on Facebook and it led to this post.

I was on Facebook the other day, and this ad caught my eye:

So many questions filled my mind: Why does me liking The Godfather mean I would be a good substance abuse counselor? Is that sexy green-haired girl the addict or the counselor? Do I HAVE to?

I like to try and make sense of things, so I started thinking, and I guess if you consider that Vito Corleone opposed the families getting into the heroin trade, it could be marginally related to drug counseling.

Then I thought, the random pairings of movies and occupations is something I would probably be good at. Here’s a group of ads to show my ability and to announce my availability to meet all of your nonsensical film and career combination needs.

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3C – “City in a Bottle”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline C – “City in a Bottle”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Short Synopsis: “Mid City, U.S.A, peaceful, with none of its millions of citizens unaware of the terrible fate being prepared for their grrrreat metropolis.” – Narrator

Ragor and Margor (whose name is later changed to Mangor) have found the “perfect city on the perfect planet” for their experiment. Their experiment?  To shrink a whole city and put it in a bottle, take it to their planet, and then do stuff to it. The transformation becomes permanent after 24 hours (Super Friends love arbitrary deadlines). The Wonder Twins and Gleek happened to be visiting the city that got shrunk.

“Jupiters! I hope it’s not the ‘no deposit no return’ kind!” – Zan, who I hate.

The NASA Space Tracking Station
When the Super Friends find out about the disappearance of the city, they rush to the NASA Space Tracking Station to figure out the trajectory of the UFO. As you can see, they have the most advanced space tracking technology available at the time – a swirly thing on a screen:

They track the UFO to planet X-3, which is made entirely of ice, and is 7 billion miles away, Aquaman and Wonder Woman somehow know off the top of their heads.

I don’t know how else to put this.
The Super Friends go to Cape Canaveral to get a rocket to go to X-3, and the following exchange takes place:

Person who knows about rockets: Well, we’d like to help, Superman, but a rocket powerful enough to get to planet X-3 would take years to build.
Superman: Then we’ll just have to make do with that one!
Rocketman: NO, SUPERMAN, WAIT!
Superman: We can’t wait! All aboard!

And then The Super Friends all climb aboard and hijack a rocket.

This is why I make fun of you on a weekly basis, Super Friends.
Superman is then frozen by Margor and Ragor while he was trying to “reverse the UFO’s gyro-rockets to halt descent.” Frozen into a solid block of ice, the ever astute Superman exclaims:

“It’s some alien form of ice! I….can’t….function!”

The Super Friends look really concerned, watching this happen in their groovy hijacked rocket:

Wonder Woman decides to free ice-chunk Superman by using her lasso to wrap around him and use “the ol’ fire by friction bit.”

Hush little baby, don’t say a word, Mama’s gonna use the ol’ fire by friction bit.

It works, and Superman is lassoed in safely.

Now give it here, you never should have promised to me, give it here.

Meanwhile, in the bottle.
Zan and Jayna find their way down to the very bottom of the bottle. Zan turns into an “ice spear” and Jan turns into a Gorilla. Jan then starts stabbing away at the bottom of the bottle.

They must not have realized that there were probably things like jackhammers available to them since, you know, the whole city was taken.

They then continue to suck and not help from outside the bottle.

De-Coder Part II
SHOCKING NEWS: something went wrong with one of the free hot air balloon baloon rides.

The clue is “what was beside you in the tree, not the bird itself, but what it likes to do.” My guess is “shit white poop.”

Nope, it was “sing.” So the de-coder word was “freezing.”

Let’s Wrap This Up in Pictures
In the span of about four minutes the following happens:

Batman and Robin are menaced by a dragon lobster.

Then, are saved by Wonder Woman and Aquaman, and they all have to share a single homemade wind sled thing.

Zan sends a message to the Super Friends after he climbs up the giant radio (because I never tire of miniature Super Friends).

Zan, Gleek, and Jayna are caught and thrown back in the bottle like they deserve.

Then, it’s revealed that below the ice surface is corrosive acid.

Then, the Super Friends fall for Mangor’s trap and end up stuck inside a cavern.

Then, because Mangor didn’t check for any exits, they make it out of the cavern.

Then, the word “impregnable” is used A LOT.

Then, they get trapped again.

I can’t take it anymore. I didn’t include the Mid City population analysis experiment, the shrunken army Mangor brought back to Earth, the frozen robot soldiers the Super Friends had to fight, Zan and Jayna going into the frozen soldier machine to muck up the mechanism, Superman flying back to earth with Mid City, Superman stealing borrowing a reflector from Metropolis observatory, Superman deflecting the Margor warriors to a distant asteroid, and Superman getting Mid City back into place. I just feel the need to remind everyone that this was about four minutes of story.

What did we learn from all of this? X-3 is a place you neither want to live or visit. And that the third storyline in the All-New Super Friends Hour episodes are painful to summarize. So, so painful.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

Why didn’t you say something!?

Our house went off the market two weeks ago, and ever since then, the interest in buying  it has skyrocketed. Realtors have been calling Tom constantly wanting to “clarify some info” (nice try, but people who hate making phone calls as much as we do don’t fall for that crap). And, we got two letters in the mail from people who are interested in buying our house!

The first one was from a realtor who KNOWS SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BUY OUR HOUSE, OMG! They get points for: 1. typing the letter (very professional) and 2. the bright blue envelope, really catches the eye. Plus, she wishes us all the best, she really has our best interest at heart.

The second one was from sweet Tara, who, along with her husband, loved our house, but must have ran out of time before it was taken off the market, their future snatched away in the blink of an eye. This one gets points for: 1. hand written in red ink (adds a personal touch) 2. the dollar signs around the word “buy.” You don’t know if someone is serious unless they really spell it out for you, and the dollar signs showed they meant business.

I really don’t want to upset these people and tell them that we found renters for the house.  This means two people who would have probably handed us a suitcase filled with cash (more than asking price, obviously) are out of luck. Hopefully they’ll be able to get over the disappointment.