Month: April 2012

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3B – “Hitchhike”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline B – “Hitchhike”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Safety Segment
This week it’s about approaching dogs properly.

Wonder Woman swings down from her lasso and tells two 1970s children to always let a dog sniff your hand first before you pet him. Of course, if that dog’s owner was anywhere to be found, perhaps Wonder Woman wouldn’t have to spend her time lying in wait in a tree for children and a dog to meet up in the exact right spot.

Short Synopsis: The name of this segment is “Hitchhike,” and it stars the Wonder Twins. But, we all already know they aren’t going to end up in pieces scattered down Route 66, so I’m already disappointed.

“A busy intersection of Central City, where an unsuspecting young girl is about to take a very unpleasant ride.” – Narrator

Jody and Beth are waiting for the bus to take them to the beach (the same way Aquaman gets to the beach). Jody says they should skip the bus, hitchhike and “save the fare for the jukebox.”

Beth, the big square who doesn’t want to be sold as a sex slave, opts for the bus. Jody decides to hitchhike, and what could go wrong? She assures Beth that she “never accepts rides from creeps.” She tells Beth she’ll meet her at “the beach entrance.” What beach are they going to that has a single entrance and a jukebox in the sand?

Jody, you don’t know what “I don’t accept rides from creeps” means, do you?
Within 2 seconds of sticking out her thumb, this guy, who totally doesn’t look in any way like a creep, pulls up and asks her where she’s headed.

She gets in his car without any hesitation. That Jody thought she had a good head on her shoulders, until it ended up in a bowling bag in that guy’s trunk. I’m just kidding, he didn’t decapitate her, this is a Saturday morning children’s show.

“Later, at the beach.” – Narrator
Jody’s ride does take her all the way to the beach, right up to the entrance, where Beth responsibly awaits.

Beth notices Jody in the car of the non-creep, who has told Jody that she won’t be going to the beach today. Beth uses the nearby pay phone to call for help. So, Beth would have had more money for the jukebox, but Jody screwed her over.

WTF Screenshots
Y’all, I hate the Wonder Twins. I can’t stand their stupid purple uniforms and Jayna’s dumb soft serve hairdo and Zan’s crappy water transformations. I hate:

Their stupid Teen Trouble alert wrist watches.

Their dumb travel arrangement.

Their wacky tennis matches.

The problem I have with the Wonder Twins is that, unlike The Justice League characters, they don’t have a rich history of heroism to ruin so I can laugh at it. No, they sprung forth fully formed and sucking, so that takes a lot of the fun out of it for me.

But once Jody’s on that beach, “Undercover Angel” blasting from the Jukebox, it’ll all be worth it.
The perfect gentleman slows down due to a winding road, and Jody takes advantage, tossing herself out of the moving vehicle.

Perfect Gentleman chases her down.

Zan and Jayna to the rescue.
Blah blah blah, the guy, who turned out to be a total creep (surprise!) ends up in Zan’s “ice jail.”

Then, Jody assures everyone she’s learned her lesson about hitchhiking, and Gleek is chased by a seagull.

De-Coder Part 1

Superman shows up at a place giving away free hot air balloon baloon rides. Wait a second, didn’t we JUST learn that free rides only lead to being chased down by a dirty creep? Now I’m completely confused. And, I would think that you should never, ever accept a free balloon ride if the person offering it can’t spell “balloon” correctly.

The clue is “the price of the hot air baloon rides.” Oh, wow. Ok. Let me think.Oh, geez. I’m just glad I have a whole week to think about it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

Oh, because of April showers. I get it.

Now it’s time again to talk about my wall calendar.

It only took me until April 26th to figure out that the reason my classic movie poster calendar chose Singin’ in the Rain for the month of April because of April showers (what do you mean calendars don’t choose their own monthly representative pictures?). When I told Tom about my brilliant realization, he said, “But March was Stormy Weather.” Nothing makes you feel quite as stupid as when you falsely think you’re being smart.

I don’t believe in having one favorite movie. Sometimes I try and come up with a top ten but that’s still very hard to do. However, Singin’ in the Rain is always on that list. My grandma owned a few movies on VHS. I narrowed those down to two movies that I would alternate between: Singin’ in the Rain and How to Marry a Millionaire. Interestingly (only to me), both of these movies have bizarre fashion show segments where the models come out and then pose like a mannequin.

Singin’ in the Rain is a movie from the past set in an even further past, which is something I really enjoy for some reason (NOT way way in the past, only a few decades difference, what am I, a giant weirdo? Please). The movie was released in 1952 and is set in the late 1920s. It’s a musical (for the one person who maybe doesn’t know), and deals with the troubles facing silent film actors during the transition to talkies.

Donald O’Connor’s musical number, “Make ‘Em Laugh,” is very famous, as it should be. The sequence for “Singin’ in the Rain’ (the song) is also iconic. I have a special place in my heart for “Moses Supposes” because it’s pretty much about procrastination and not doing your homework. A glorious song and dance tribute to screwing around.

This movie also has one of my favorite comedic performances of all time: Jean Hagen as Lina Lamont. Lina Lamont is akin to Billie Dawn from Born Yesterday, and Wikipedia just told me that Jean Hagan was Judy Holliday’s understudy for that role on Broadway. So, that makes sense.

I love every single moment she’s on screen, and I often quote her when I hear the word “people.” “People!? I ain’t ‘people’! I’m a… ‘a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament.'” Except, I usually get it wrong because I’m lame like that and can’t remember something I’ve seen probably a dozen times at least.

I’m very picky about musicals. I’m not crazy about sentimental musicals – people genuinely expressing love while singing and dancing makes me uncomfortable, and Singin’ in the Rain does have one of those numbers, but that’s when I use the bathroom and get a snack or something.

Do you have a favorite musical?

If I Didn’t Already Know I was a Giant Nerd

My birthday was yesterday. I share my birthday with the whole earth, which, as an introvert, is pretty nice because I can just hang back while the earth gets all the attention.

On the occasions where I get multiple presents (mainly my birthday and Christmas), sometimes the stars align and I get a haul of the things I truly wanted and like. Not stupid clothes, or dumb stuff I need, but things that reflect the kind of person I am, which is a humongous immature nerd.

Yesterday was a reminder that not only am I a humongous immature nerd, but I was lucky to find another one to marry.

Exhibit A: We decided to go grab some lunch. Right before we left, Tom filled up his mug with the last of his coffee and we got in the car. He placed his coffee mug in it’s holder, and next to it sat my big-ass mug that lives in my car, which I drink water from because I’m a non-coffee drinking square:

Exhibit B: Tom bought me something that he thought might be more for him than me, and to acknowledge this possibility, he decorated the wrapping paper:

This is a Simpsons reference.

I opened my presents (some from Tom, some from my Mom, and Mom’s gifts were part of the reason the haul seemed especially nerdy; she usually gets me the less eccentric things I ask for). I stepped back and took in the sight of my spoils, and it was good.

1, The Mighty Boosh, the complete series DVD
2. Twin Peaks, complete series DVD (this was the one wrapped in a Simpsons reference)
3. The Joke Shop from the Department 56 A Christmas Story village
4. A Christmas Story leg lamp Christmas lights
5. A birdhouse in the shape of Mad Hatter’s hat from the Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”
6. Book 6 of The Walking Dead
7. A lottery ticket. If I win, obviously the money will be spent on many nerdy endeavors.

Do liking any of these individual things make me a giant nerd? No. Even though you might think they would, they wouldn’t. It is the volume of it that makes me a giant nerd. You get a Mad Hatter birdhouse, some sensible slacks, a pair of earrings, and a blender, and it just doesn’t say the same thing when it’s paired with these six other things. I did get a 12″ frying pan, so my mom got me one traditionally useful thing. But, I plan on using it as a weapon during the inevitable zombie take-over as much as I plan to make scrambled eggs in it.

This haul was also a nice reflection of the nerd balance I like to strike in my life. A Christmas Story and Alice in Wonderland needs to be paired with a dead teenager wrapped in plastic and the zombie apocalypse. Life is about variety, am I right?

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep3A – “Invasion of the Hydronoids”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline A – “Invasion of The Hydronoids”

Original Airdate: September 24, 1977

Short Synopsis: See, I told you Robin doesn’t count as a person when they “pair off” for emergencies.

I’ve gotten spoiled. Usually, the narrator provides a wonderfully cheesy synopsis I can quote that spares me from actually describing what’s happening. But this time, there wasn’t one. My guess is that he’s asleep in the corner of the sound booth with a bottle of booze in his hand. So, I have to do it my self:

“In the deep recesses of the ocean, strange things are afoot. Splashing into the water with the force of a thousand toddlers taking a bath, is a mysterious space ship, with mysterious creatures aboard.”- Carrie

They are the Hydronoids. They have landed on earth to execute “Plan X, to erase the minds of the earthlings.’

Alright, Hydronoids, you got me there.
Just when I was about to make fun of another race of creatures who love pink weapons of mass destruction,  one of the Hydronoids calls it “The Mind Eraser.” Erasers are pink, ergo, this gadget should be pink. You win, Hydronoids.

The Mind Eraser flashes a green light (should be pink, duh), and then everyone in the area turns green and their minds are blank. Sooooo, zombies who don’t eat people.

Aquaman is as surprised as anyone that he may have something to do this week.
“The only clue is some seaweed found on the docks where the glow came from.” – Man relaying the news.

We all know Aquaman’s no dummy – he can put two and two (or plate and plate) together with the best of them: “SEAWEED! That means the trouble was caused by something from the ocean, my territory.” – Aquaman

I know someone who’s getting ice cream on the way home after!

Hydronoids, you only had to wait 30 years, this shit would have taken care of itself.
The reason they want to erase all the humans’ brains is because “they will be unable to continue their development of their space travel.”

On the other hand.
The Hydronois don’t want the humans to eventually ruin hydro-planets like they’re ruining their own ocean. The episode is set in the Gulf Coast. *cough*

YES!
Four minutes in, and look who’s turned green and can blame his blank mind on the eraser?

You know, tomorrow is my birthday, for real. I think this may have been the universe’s present to me.

And now Aquaman has been programmed to fight Batman and Robin.
Universe, you’re too kind! I can’t take this many presents!

Aquaman sends a school of barracudas after Batman and Robin. Barracudas lie low in the weeds, ambush people, and then bring them to their knees (source: Barracuda by Heart).

Batman and Robin need to think fast! And, just when my little heart couldn’t take anymore, they bust out their inflatable dolls.

Oh, Batman, you’re too much.
“Quick, Robin, we’ve got to return Aquaman’s mind.” – Batman

With no Wendy and Marvin, who will get stuck on ships with villains now?
Batman, Robin, and Aquaman, that’s who. Aquaman gets his “mind” back, but then the Hydronoids decide to flee with the Super Friends on their face-shaped ship. Aquaman has whales pile on the ship so it can’t go anywhere.

“Looks like you’ve been caught, hook, line, and spaceship.” – Aquaman, who DOES have his mind back at the time.

Then, the whole thing wraps up with some kind of half-lecture about keeping oceans clean and then Robin sums it up: “Holy unfair exchanges, I’d rather have my mind than a tuna sandwich, any day.” A tuna sandwich any day, indeed.

Just because it’s my birthday, doesn’t mean you leave empty-handed.
I made this for you. You’re welcome.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.