A couple of weeks ago my sister and I went to the local biannual kid’s clothes consignment sale. I bought a bunch of clothes for a baby I haven’t met or seen yet – so I don’t know how big she’ll be or get. That’s kind of weird, which means buying a lot of clothes of varying sizes and hoping for the best.
This consignment sale is a monster – racks and racks of clothes. You kind of go nutty after a while. Late in the afternoon, I found this monstrosity:
The babyfication of popular animation characters perhaps hit it’s stride with Muppet Babies and then through the nineties everyone became a baby for baby and young child-related merchandise. For instance, Elmo, who’s already supposed be like three years old anyway, is mysteriously babyfied further for baby clothes and toys. Why? I DON’T KNOW. The only logical conclusion of this trend is little sperms with popular character faces.
But, seriously, Betty Boop? Really? Just a little reminder from Wikipedia about this cartoon character developed in the 1930’s:
“Betty Boop is regarded as one of the first and most famous sex symbols on the animated screen; she is a symbol of the Depression era, and a reminder of the more carefree days of Jazz Age flappers. Her popularity was drawn largely from adult audiences, and the cartoons, while seemingly surreal, contained many sexual and psychological elements…”
Kids LOVE 1930s sex symbol black and white cartoon characters! Especially ones with either their lips on their chin or their chin completely missing. Informal poll: which do you think it is?
So, I find this thing, it’s marketed under the name “Baby Boop.” I have the following conversation with my sister:
Me: Look at this, it’s horrible. Should I buy it? It’s three dollars.
Sister: Uh, well, it has a matching bib?
She meant this as the best reason she could come up with to justify my suggesting I buy this thing because I thought it was so awful.
I ended up buying it, thinking at the very least I’ll blog about it. I showed it to Tom:
Me: Look at this, isn’t it horrible?
Tom: Why did you buy that?
Me: It’s terrible, it’s baby Betty Boop.
Tom: We’re not putting that on our child.
Me: I thought I would blog about it.
Tom: You could have just taken a picture of it.
Me: At least it’s off the streets now.
So, for the past few weeks the outfit has been hanging off or our fireplace screen, on display like some two headed pig in a jar at an oddity museum. Tom’s been throwing things like “I want that out of our house” into the ether, hoping it will come true.
Now I’m blogging about it. So there.
While at the consignment sale, I actually also saw a onesie that Baby Boop herself would probably wear, but this one I just took a picture of because I couldn’t even bring myself to have this in the house:
I guess nobody had bought it yet because all their babies were taken.
“Me: Look at this, it’s horrible. Should I buy it? It’s three dollars.”
This is so something I would say while shopping.
I want to go shopping with you. We would encourage each other to buy the most terrible things there. Your husband would be SO MAD. It would be kind of epic.
Ah, so this is why you were excited about the shell creature poker trinket. It all makes sense…
I think Betty Boop has a chin, but she usually has it tucked into her chest, either in shame or, more likely, to draw attention to her cleavage. I would save the horrible little outfit to put on a dolly or teddy.
The onesie is sad. Sadder still, is that someone will buy it and put it on their baby.
I just don’t get it. If someone wants to know my baby’s marital status, they can just ask me.
Yeah but the Baby Pamela Anderson onesie – THAT was adorable!
And the little Baywatch swimsuits!
That Single one just screams hipster. It’s just so irreverent and cool. You wouldn’t get it, you’re just not hip enough.
Baby Betty Boop. What’s next . . . tiny child Hooter’s outfits? Damn.
Shall we cry together?
http://www.tips21.com/videos/images/hilarious-pics-funny-baby-t-shirts-04.jpg
You will have a LOT of horrible crap in your house if you try to get it all off the streets. And probably somebody initially bought that FOR REAL. Like, thinking it was awesome. And it wasn’t three bucks.
I know, I’m only one person. I can’t take it all off the streets. I can only do what I can.
And, I don’t even wanna know what someone was willing to pay for that. I mean I know I was willing to pay three dollars, but still.
“Me: At least it’s off the streets now.”
You are so considerate. Way to take one for the team!
I think Christian may be right. I’m gonna have to burn it.
Just a word of warning. Once the baby comes you will most likely find yourself in a heavily dazed sleep-deprivation state for weeks upon weeks. If you keep that outfit around don’t be surprised if all of sudden you find yourself at the grocery store and realize your daughter is wearing it. You may want to just burn it now.
I’m currently shaking and having cold sweats thinking about accidentally taking her out in that outfit. Yes. I must dispose of it immediately.
It would have been a deal if they paired it with the toddler “Jessica Rabbit” number all the sexy kids were wearing…
And you know Jessica Rabbit was at least a B cup by the time she was 6 months old. The horror.
There are some seriously disturbing baby — and kid — clothes out there. Tip of the iceberg.
I know. I don’t even like the ones that say, “Mommy loves me.” Don’t tell ME how to feel, clothes.
I’ve seen horrible things for children, but never Baby Boop. I love that you bought it just to get it off the streets.
The other day I saw a small boy wearing a child-sized Hooters t-shirt. And our local Spencer gifts used to stock onesies with “Future MILF” printed on them. Classic.
That is horrifying. MILF. Shudder.