Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Making a Point

Due to a crummy week, I didn’t get around to viewing the next episode of Super Friends. So, instead I will share with you a collection I’ve been compiling. The Super Friends, and, really, all Hanna-Barbera characters, loooove to point in the air. Not at things, at thoughts. Whenever anyone thinks of or remembers something, they point.

I’m still waiting for an Aquaman and Robin point, but I know it will happen or I’ve missed it, there’s no way they don’t exist. What does it say about Aquaman and Robin that their lack of pointing potentially correlates with their overall value as members of the Justice League? Discuss.

And now, “Pointing: A Study of the Genesis of Ideas and Memories in the World of The Super Friends.”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep13

“The Mysterious Moles”

Original Airdate: December 1, 1973

Short Synopsis: Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog are riding their bikes, which kids apparently did back in the 1970s, and they think someone moved an oak tree while their backs were turned, and see what looks like giant chicken tracks. Plus, four air conditioning units are stolen from four different buildings. This is all cause for concern, of course.

Maximus and Minimus Mole are the baddies in this episode, they are renowned spelunkers. Maximus is trying to find the elusive “Bottomless Cave.” We know this because Superman and Wonder Woman have read books by Maximus Mole. This is what they look like. Mrs. Mole is a handsome woman.

“It’s not a national disaster, but if it continues, we may have to take action.” – Superman
Are you kidding, Superman? Every time anybody misplaces their keys, y’all investigate. Lazily and incompetently, but you investigate.

WTF Screenshots
Wonder Woman’s earring is just shoved into the side of her face.

Superman crouches near a valuable air conditioner, his pinhead propped on top of his super body.

Max Mole seems to be a former member of the Manson Family.

Here’s Marvin, Wonder Dog, and Wendy floating down an underwater river in the cap of a giant mushroom.

Shut up, Batman. And Robin.
“A proper place for air conditioning thieves, the cooler.” – Batman
“How come a housewife was dressed in mountain climbing gear?” – Robin

“This requires a combined think session by the Super Friends” – Batman

“Meanwhile, in the Hall of the Justice League, the Super Friends are engaged in a Think Session, utilizing their super brainpower to solve the mystery of the missing air conditioners.” – Narrator

Guess Who Ended Up in the Bottomless Cave
Yes, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog end up in the Bottomless Cave while the Super Friends are dicking around during their “Think Session.” The Bottomless Cave does have a bottom, and at the bottom is “Molesville.”

The water in Molesville allows trees to move around. And, there are giant diamonds in the cave, but the Moles need air conditioners to keep the area cool so they can stay down there to extract the…it’s a whole thing. But,  ultimately, this episode was literally about the stolen airconditioners, which makes it the lamest “mystery” so far, which is saying a lot.

Wow, how did you put that together, Wonder Woman?
“Min and Max are short for Minimus and Maximus Mole!” – Wonder Woman

Where does Wendy find the time?
And of course, it wouldn’t be a victory for the Super Friends unless Wendy feeds everyone afterwards. This week, she provided a picnic. And, notice that it seems like the Super Friends are enjoying the meal while Marvin and Wendy have to watch from a distance, getting nothing and liking it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep12

“The Menace of the White Dwarf”

Original airdate: November 24, 1973

Short Synopsis: A guy in a red spacecraft is flying around, pointing at things with a special gun, giggling, and making said things disappear. And, of course, one of the things involve Wendy and Marvin, perpetual early-in-the-episode victims (this time their bike disappeared). The Super Friends assume it’s a white dwarf. More specifically, as Batman says, “A white dwarf with a human brain.” I cannot believe how un-PC the 1970s were.

So it turns out they were referring to a star. They figure out the villain’s name is Raven, a “super scientist that Superman sent to prison.”

WTF Screenshots
Here’s Wonder Dog picking a fight with a balloon.

Noooo, the Super Friends can’t have a regular projector, they have to have a space-age projector that looks like a tire swing with polaroids sticking out of it.

Wendy is a close-talker.

This is Superman and Wonder Woman using their “acute hearing.”

This is Wonder Dog chasing a cat into the Washington Monument.

Aquaman Bums a Ride
This is Aquaman asking Batman and Robin for a ride to an ocean emergency.

How in the hell does he get around when he’s not hanging with the Super Friends? Does he take the subway or use the bus system?

Super Friends and the Hillbilly Trio
Things get a little weird, and Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder dog end up at a shack where these three fellows reside.

The say things like “balder n’ a speckled hen’s egg.” The Raven has been trying to buy a meteor from them, and they’ve refused time and again. And because Raven is an upstanding super villain, he hasn’t thought to just steal it.

The meteor is Kryponite, and here’s the definitive answer as to what exactly it does to Superman, according to the narrator: “Kryptonite’s radiation reduces him to the condition of an invalid.”

Just Tell Us, Already.
The Raven threatens to send a building into orbit, and won’t oblige Marvin’s request to tell him what building, but he does offer the following clue: “Ohhhh, wouldn’t you like to knowwww, that. Well, I’ll tell you this much, it will be an irreplaceable building, a building rrrrrich in tradition and history. Tell Superman THAT.” BO-RING.

After all this dramatic not agreeing to tell them the building, Wendy says “fine, then, what time will the building go into orbit?” And The Raven responds with a very helpful “today, at 5.”

And, I’ll give you nothing if you guess what time it is. Yep, “minutes to spare before 5 o’clock.”

The Raven and his android clones give Martha Stewart a run for her money.
The Raven has put together robots that look just like him “to help with the chores.” They create a delightful meal for Wendy, Marvin, and Super Dog, because that’s how classy this super villain is. He also takes them on a tour of his lair.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep11

Season 1 – Episode 10: “The Ultra Beam”

Airdate was November 17, 1973.

Short Synopsis: Two guys (Hank and Ben) decide to “ruin all the gold in the country” and do so by flying around in a blue jet and making it worthless with a blue laser, somehow. They want to do this so people stop “wasting their time and energy acquiring gold.” They can turn gold into any other metal, somehow. And, this is all, of course, very misguided and not very thought out, leading to problems that the Super Friends somehow, miraculously, solve.

Unfortunately, this episode did not have nearly as much screwing around and too much excruciating detailed exposition by the narrator.

Super Friends is Highly Technical
“Weird blue beam of light.” – The scientific description for how Hank and Ben extract gold.

And how do you stop a weird blue beam of light? With a “heat barrier” squirted out from Wonder Woman’s plane. Duh.

Seismographic Bureau
If you learn anything from Super Friends, you’ll learn about the more obscure non-existent government agencies. The Seismographic Bureau’s headquarters look pretty much like you’d imagine it.

WTF Screenshots (Mostly brought to you by the animators this week)
The villain’s sidekick gets around on bouncy moon-boots – because he’s short, according to him.

Marvin, you have something on your face.

Breaker one, this is Fatman, got your ears on, good buddy?

Robin was originally slated to star in Back to the Future

Here’s Batman, who has either had one of his arms amputated, or is picking a wedgie, which, considering the outfit he wears, is entirely possible.

Superman goes to some other imaginary institute and borrows a giant mirror from some sort of 1970s troll.

There’s gold in them there underwater caverns and they’re already in convenient bar shape.
Did you know there is a vast reservoir of gold bars under water? Well, there is. They’re there for safe keeping so Aquaman has something to do. Kind of like when you give a toddler a video game controller with no batteries in it.

Shut up, Batman.
“Hello, blue jet projecting blue beams, come in, please, this is Batman.” – Batman on his CB radio.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep10

This is part of my weekly Saturday Morning installment dedicated to archiving and commenting on the wonderful “what else can we put in here to make it an hour” ridiculousness that is the cartoon series, Super Friends.

Season 1 – Episode 10: “The Fantastic Frerps”

Airdate was November 10, 1973.

Short Synopsis: This episode didn’t mess around – BOOM – we’re introduced to “King Plasto” and his personal jester, Styro. King Plasto wants to create his own country. He  is the inventor or F.R.E.R.P. (Fiber Reinforced Epoxy Resin Plastic). No, wait, sorry – King Plasto says anyone can make FRERP, but he added a secret ingredient, which apparently allows him to make working duplicates of anything that expand out of a pantyhose egg. Really:

He’s stealing all the research and plastic shipments that are supposed to belong to G.R.E.P.S.

G.R.E.P.S – Government Research and Experiment Project for Space

Turns out Super Friends playing golf is no more interesting to watch than regular people playing golf.
The Super Friends dickin’ around – practicing for a charity golf event they plan to attend, notice Wendy and Marvin holding hands, like a couple of creepy ghosts:

The golfing took up about 15 minutes of the show.
Aaaaaand, here they are, at the event, at the Haunted Hills Golf Course, which is being televised: “As the Super Friends continue to display their dazzling array of golf tricks…” – Narrator

Which Way to the Gun Show, Superman?
“Great Scott! I keep forgetting how strong I am.” – Superman

W.T.F. Screen Shots
The Anagram Board at Justice League Headquarters. Because that many villains use anagrams in the Super Friends Universe.

Superman flies face first into a rubbery plastic flying saucer and loses his flying grace:

The Batmobile drives over an egg with a ferris wheel in it, and then gets stuck on top of it.

I Learned a New Word from Super Friends!
Perspicacious – adjective – having keen mental perception and understanding.

In a sentence: “A very perspicacious suggestion, Wendy.” – Batman
Another example: “The Super Friends writers are not perspicacious when it comes to science and the mechanics of plastic.” – Me

How to Make Frerp, a Guide

Wonder Woman Says Things Funny

She pronounces eggs, “ayggs.” When she was cracking open Plasos’ ayggs, a “robutt” goose came out of one.

Would You Please Pass the Super Salt
And, lastly, in case you were wondering, here’s the seating arrangement when the Super Friends eat their “fabulous victory dinners,” prepared by Wendy:

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.