Category: Saturday Morning Ridiculousness

Oops! I skipped one. Last week’s was episode 5, so this week will be episode 4. God, I hope I can follow what’s going on.

Season 1 Episode 4: The Weather Maker

Airdate was September 29, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short Synopsis: Icebergs are drifting into the Atlantic Ocean and Wendy and Marvin’s pool froze over. Both equally important clues suggest someone is tampering with the weather. Seaweed becomes overgrown in the ocean, “creating a tangle,” etc. A Dr. Thinkquick is to blame. He’s from a country called Glacia, located in the North Pole. It’s so cold (how cold is it?) that he’s shifting the Gulf Stream so that it will be warm there and they can grow crops and livestock. Weirdo.

Important Super Friends Acronym: WWH – World Weather Headquarters. They also go to “The United States Government Building.”

This Episode Was Made Before the Internet
Batman, Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog spend an eternity in The United States Government Building, which seems to be the only place anyone can get a map. When the “last” map of the Gulf Stream is stolen by a minion, there’s a big chase, because, boys and girls, in the early 70’s, if you couldn’t get your hands on a map in the USGB, you were shit out of luck.

WTF Screenshots
This is a train hitch Superman and Wonder Woman made out of two icebergs to help a trapped battleship.

Aquaman enjoys a buttermilk biscuit (made by Wendy) in the middle of the crisis.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you keep a secret:

 

My Parents are Swimmeth Paltrow and Fish Martin.

Aquaman “talks” to a whale named Globey, or Globie, or Glow Bee – I don’t know how’s it’s spelled. How in the hell did this whale get named that? Is he the son of celebrity whales? These are the kind of hanging plot threads that drive me nuts.

Keep Telling Yourself That, Wendy.
“If they left us, then it must be perfectly safe.”

For the second episode in a row, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog end up stuck on a boat with the villain.

Batman and the USGB, Like a Moth to a Flame
Batman and Robin end up at the United States Government Building again. They need to get from the 10th floor to the 60th, and, I swear to God, they decide to take the stairs because it would be good exercise (and because the elevator would be too “noisy”).

“Just enough to tone our muscles,” says Batman. Shut up, Batman.

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD. This is an affiliate link.

Season 1 – Episode 3: “Professor Goodfellow’s G.E.E.C.”

Airdate was September 22, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short Synopsis: Machines start operating on their own. It turns out a dude named Professor Goodfellow has invented the world’s biggest computer, whose purpose is to “free mankind of all physical labor, brainwork, and responsibility.” It’s called “G.E.E.C” – Goodfellow’s Effort Eliminating Computer. Mr. Huggins, some random guy representing the government turns down PG’s “gift” to America – so PG offers G.E.E.C.’s services to the world for free. Everyone becomes fat and lazy (this episode would work perfectly as a prequel to WALL-E). The whole thing falls apart because Goodfellow leaves a freakin’ sandwich in the mainframe and a mouse gets in there and ruins everything. For reals.

Shut Up, Batman
“We can guess why you’re here Mr. Huggins – weird things are happening.” – Batman, ever astute.

Is This Something to be Shocked About? I Dunno, Flip a Coin.
After the Batmobile starts driving itself, it takes Batman, Robin, Superman, and Amanda Hugginkiss to a large compound surrounded by humongous robots:

Robin’s response: “That’s the biggest building I’ve ever seen!”

Wonder Woman-Hemingway
Wonder Woman calls robots “ro-butts.” She also looks eerily like Mariel Hemingway to me:

 
Superman is Keenly Aware of How Busy He is.
“This is probably the busiest day of my life.” – Superman

Yes, but he definitely takes his down time seriously:

WTF Screenshots
This is Wendy, Marvin, Batman, Mr. Huggins, Robin, Wonder Dog, Professor Goodfellow, and Superman on what looks like a pontoon boat on wheels, touring the giant computer. Professor Goodfellow explains that even actors and athletes won’t have to work, as they’ll be replaced with robots. This is the part of the computer that covers all of the world’s “theater” needs.

Professor Goodfellow never has to lift a finger – he can have whatever he wants when he wants. When the Super Friends visit him, it’s his lunchtime. This is the contraption he uses to order his meal, which has 4 amazing options:

Deus ex Matrimony

Allegedly, all the Super Friends have communication rings so that they can constantly ask each other for help when they screw up. However, earlier in the episode Robin had to use a CB radio to contact Superman and the only two they actually SHOW with the rings (on their left hand ring fingers) are Batman and Superman.

Oh, no, I can’t be in The Justice League, but when someone needs to get a mouse out of the largest computer in the world, all of a sudden Plastic Man is everyone’s best friend.

Yes, that’s right – Plastic Man makes a cameo and saves the day because only he could get through the “tube” that leads to the mouse. I will say this about the episode: what would normally be a highly mock-able plot point for anyone else – complete concern for the safety and welfare of the mouse in the face of the entire world falling apart – gets nothing but kudos from me. All he wanted was a sandwich and some cheese, and isn’t that what we all want in this life?

So, Plastic Man saves the day, and Wendy decides to keep the mouse as a pet.

Everybody wins. Except for all the people involved in plane crashes and other G.E.E.C.-related mishaps, of course. But if they aren’t going to dwell on it, neither will I.

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD. This is an affiliate link.

This is part of my weekly Saturday Morning installment dedicated to archiving and commenting on the wonderful “what else can we put in here to make it an hour” ridiculousness that is the cartoon series, Super Friends.

Season 1 – Episode 2: “The Baffles Puzzle”

Airdate was September 15, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short Synopsis: Professor Baffles keeps stealing stuff, but not really. He’s using a chemical that disintegrates everything except for glass and ways to escape when in peril. The chemical smells like almonds. Professor Baffles is destroying art and literature because he believes that’s what corrupted man. PB is shocked and appalled to find out the two henchmen who have been helping him are only in it for the money. The henchmen kidnap PB, Wendy, and Marvin – everyone is (eventually, good lord, eventually) saved by the Super Friends. Wonder Dog is allergic to almonds.

Weekly Meeting Shenanigans
This is the 2nd episode with the Super Friends in their weekly meeting. From what I can gather so far, the weekly meeting is in the same vein as a book club where no one has read the book or a band practice where no one can play an instrument. This week, at their weekly meeting:

Important Super Friends Acronym: S.D.I. – Secret Department of Investigation. They are totally legit.

Lamest Proof of Skillz Ever: Professor Baffles calls the S.D.I., stating that he plans on absconding with rare lithographs that France has lent to the U.S. for exhibition, currently residing at the American National Museum. To prove that his threat is very real and that there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him, he cops to a previous sinister theft – he totes stole all the encyclopedias from the local library, y’all.

Logistics! Not a Super Power.
Professor Baffles clearly explains that he will steal the lithographs at precisely 8 p.m. No kidding, this is what the narrator says in the next scene: “That night at ten minutes before 8, the Super Friends stake out the American Museum.” Are you shitting me? Ten minutes? I think this sums up why there’s no reason they couldn’t have at least committed to a half an hour prep time:

Superman Thinks He’s the Bees Knees
“If they’ve tricked me, then they’ve tricked the others, too.”

Best. Instructions. Ever.
“You check the coast of Spain, and I’ll see about Batman and Robin.” – Superman

Shut Up, Batman
Superman (double checking that the money they have been tasked with protecting is still in fact, there): The money is gone!
Batman: I suggest we investigate.

“Learning is something only Marvin can do for Marvin – right, Superman?” – Batman

My husband doodled this at work last week. Unrelated, but eerily appropriate:

 

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD. This is an affiliate link.

If you’re my age, then you probably know and watched the Super Friends Saturday morning cartoon show when you were a kid. If you are unlike me, then you did not watch reruns of it after midnight in your 20s in college (NOT stoned, completely sober – no excuses for me). If you haven’t seen this show since you were a kid, you may have forgotten how utterly insane it was. This show is endlessly amusing to me.

I delight in watching Superman not using his powers out of sheer laziness. In watching Wonder Woman offer to be in charge of a schedule for helping balloon-like aliens as if they didn’t have an intern to do that. In the seemingly random things the Super Friends find shocking and the ones that don’t phase them at all.

It is a spectacle for the eyes, ears, and the “wait, what?” part of your brain.

So, for probably mostly my own amusement, I will be watching every episode (or until I grow tired of it) – one a week, in order to document the marvelous ridiculousness that is Super Friends. And so, I present to you:

Season 1 – Episode 1: “The Power Pirate”

Air date was September 8, 1973.

The Super Friends consist of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman, and Robin. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog are the “Junior Super Friends.” They haven’t made partner yet. They also have no super powers other than Wonder Dog’s ability to almost speak.

Short synopsis: An alien comes to earth to steal energy because his planet used all theirs, thus wreaking havoc on lil ol’ earth. Superman solves the problem by deciding to “polish” their moon until it is “as smooth as glass,” allowing the aliens to…something about the sun.

Best Jerking Around Moment:

Superman pretends that he can’t beat Marvin at arm wrestling and the rest of the Super Friends jokingly discuss whether they should help Superman. This is happening during the WEEKLY SUPER FRIENDS MEETING. Which, Wendy baked a cake for.

Important Lesson and Theme:
“Don’t forget, not everyone has super strength. But, everyone has a brain. You can do super things with your brain.” -Batman

Hey, Can I Get a Ride?
You will never see a show more obsessed with how superheroes got somewhere. In this episode alone, they address the issue FIVE TIMES:

WTF Screenshot
Speaking of the nuclear power plant – here is its “start button.”