Category: Posts

Be Unspired

Pinterest and Facebook are full of of pictures with inspirational quotes on them. Sentimentality for sentimentality’s sake doesn’t work on me. I have no ill will towards the people it does inspire, it’s just like how broccoli just tastes bitter to some people – you know, because of genetics and shit. So, when I see these rampantly shared images, my gut reaction is a little different from the people who love them. I get unspired, if you will. Here’s some side-by-side comparisons: on the left, inspiring inspirational inspirement and on the right, my brain’s rejection of it.

Super Friends: Look at the fancy GIFs I’ve made.

Due to a combinations of general laziness and Olympics fever, I couldn’t bring my self to sit through the C storyline this week. So, because they’ve never been seen all together and because all together and out of context, they perfectly demonstrate the insanity of Super Friends, here’s a collection of the best GIFs I’ve made so far.

 

Pop Culture Roundup 3

On the right of this blog is an Amazon affiliate banner. Yes, it’s an affiliate link, but it’s also a little list of the things I’ve been watching at any given time, like a lazy, non-personal journal. It’s over that way ======>

But, I also like to occasionally talk about what I’ve seen, and so here’s some of the stuff I’ve watched over the last few weeks:

Things I hadn’t seen before:

The Fog
I hadn’t seen this 1980s John Carpenter horror movie before. I thought the fog was the actual thing that killed you but I learned that you shouldn’t make those kinds of judgements about movies called “The Fog.” Helpful tip you would think most people would know but didn’t in this movie: if, after midnight, someone shows up at your door and eerily and creepily loudly and slowly rhythmically knocks on your door with what sounds like a large metal object – DO NOT ANSWER YOUR DOOR.

Homeland
Wow. Have any of y’all seen this show? I didn’t really know much about it before I started watching it other than everyone said it was really good. It was really good. I don’t want to spoil anything about the show so the only comment I’ll make on it is that I keep wanting to call it “Homeland Fries.” That comment has nothing to do with anything, don’t worry.

Things I re-watched:

Groundhog Day
Our local movie theater recently had a little film festival with classic comedies. This was one of them. I’ve seen this movie many, many times. It is a practically perfect movie. It survives having Andie MacDowell in it. I’m glad this movie exists, because if it ever happens to me in real life, I will have the advantage of being able to explain it to my loved ones. “Groundhog Day is happening to ME!” Much easier than for Phil Connors.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Discussion: Ferris Bueller is a bit of an asshole – yes or no? I love this movie. This may shock all of you, but I’m much more of a Cameron than a Ferris, so I often roll my eyes at Ferris’ shenanigans and think he’s kind of a jackass. My favorite character is Grace, Principal Rooney’s assistant.

The Jerk
This is one of my favorite movies. I don’t understand people who don’t like this movie. We got to see it in the theater and here’s something I never noticed: the guy that gives Navin his first hitchhike ride is Rob Reiner. I don’t know how I’ve missed that all these years. So many useable quotes from this movie. One of my favorites: “You know, you can tell so much about a person from the way they live. Just looking around here I can tell…you’re a genuinely dirty person.”

Have you seen anything good lately?

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep6A – “Shark”

Season 2, Episode 5, Storyline D – “Shark”

Original Airdate: October 15, 1977

Safety Segment
Superman, flying overhead, notices two boys on a bike. One is sitting on the handlebars so the one pedaling can’t see what he’s doing. They almost fall into a deep crevice in the sidewalk, but Superman rescues them just in time.

Superman chides them for “riding double” and then they discuss general bicycle safety. Do you see that hole in the ground? How in the hell did that happen and why aren’t there any warning signs? There should have been more talk about the un-blocked-off big-ass crack in the earth.

Short Synopsis: “A warm, sunny day at State Beach, where two teenagers will soon take a boat ride they will never forget.” – Narrator

Our cast of Wonder Twin Cautionary Tale Teenagers (notice we have yet another pair of deserted island cutoffs):

I had to name two of them myself.

The one dressed like an idiot (Mike) brags that he, “just broke the beach record – dove down to 60ft!” I don’t know anything about scuba diving. Is this impressive? I like to know how accurate the cartoon brags I’m watching are.

Mike declares he can dive anywhere, and to “just name it!” So, it is named by Wallpaper: Rocky Point Cave.

There’s then some exposition about all the sharks that hang out around there and that nobody tries to dive there because of it.

It’s a Shark of a Tale
There’s a shark at Rocky Point Cave. I sure didn’t see that coming.

Mike panics and turns over the boat, bringing Wallpaper into the water with him.

Karen and Left Blinker, who watched this happen from the beach, say they’re going to get help, but they aren’t shown seeking out a payphone so I’m not sure I believe them.

Mike and Wallpaper decide to swim back down to the rocks for protection (they share Mike’s oxygen).

Yay. The Wonder Twins.
Now it’s time for The Wonder Twins to show up and ruin everything.

Zan, Jayna, and Gleek arrive on the scene just in time and in their usual eagle-carrying-a-monkey-carrying-a-bucket-of-water configuration. Zan turns into an “ice boat” because he’s completely lame and worthless and Jayna turns into an octopus, in mid-air, which was really weird looking.

Can’t you just imagine Mid-Air Octopus flying around dispensing wisdom and general tips? No? I’ve just finally lost it because of all the Super Friends viewing? Fair enough.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah, Jayna stops the shark:

Lesson Learned
Once they’re all out of harm’s way, Mike let’s everyone know: “No more braggin’ for me. From now on I’ll stick to diving where I know it’s safe.”

Or, in other words:

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

What a Discovery

I used to occasionally watch a show called If Walls Could Talk on HGTV a while back. Basically, it showed people talking about the amazing treasures and historical artifacts they found in their fancy old homes. The camera would follow people up and down creaky old stairs while they explained how they discovered this or that. Examples (paraphrased and possibly made-up):

  • “I was in the attic trying to escape from my family’s oppressive neediness and while I was rocking back and forth in the corner, I noticed a loose floorboard and lo and behold, there was a first edition of The Wizard of Oz under it.”
  • “I was burying my mistress, I mean, some jars of pennies in my crawlspace when my shovel hit something hard. Turns out, it was an old tin box with a perfectly preserved Civil War-era flag in it. I’m lucky to be so homicidal, I mean, thrifty.”
  • “I was having a good wank in my ‘jack-off shack,’ which is the hall coat closet, and it finally dawned on me, this trunk that I always sit on in here while I look at Hustler didn’t belong to us. So I looked inside, and it was a whole bunch of stuff that used to belong to Chester A. Arthur!”

You know, things like that.

Well, I had my own If Walls Could Talk moment this week. As you may know, we’re currently staying with my mom while we try and figure out what we want to do while our still not bought house is not bought. Our cat is currently staying in the large room over the garage, which for the last 25 years has been called “The New Room” since its addition in the late 1980s.

In the early 2000s, my sister lived up in The New Room while she attended college. The New Room has a bathroom with a small closet. I’m currently using this small closet (which also houses Kenbie and all his/her friends) to store the cat’s food. Well, and here’s my moment:

  • “I was yelling at my cat to for the love of God shut the hell up and getting out his food to hopefully appease him, when I saw, out of the corner of my eye, taped to the inside wall of the closet, this:”

Y’all, it’s just like finding the diary of a Union soldier that shows great bravery in the face of turmoil, except it’s about not mixing up your shit and shower sponges and I see the person who made it multiple times a week. Still, it’s so amazing to have such a historical glimpse into the house’s past.

Have you ever found anything interesting in your house? I know it will be hard to top the sponge color code but I’d still love to hear about it.