During my senior year of college, I decided that Tom and I should make a customized game of Trivial Pursuit. We would use the board and the pie pieces from the regular game, but would write questions of our own.
Being that it was my idea and I was still in school, and, thus, since I was a bad student, had lots of time on my hands, I got my questions written. Tom, who had a job and I’m not sure even agreed to the idea, never wrote his.
And, so, these set of questions, which are in and of themselves a kind of time capsule, have traveled with us on our many moves. I find these things every time we move, and every time, I get farther away from the knowledge, both personal and trivial, I held in my mind when I wrote them.
I’m not 100% sure what the categories are, my best guess is: W (no clue, maybe Wildcard), MP (Motion Pictures), CT (Carrie and Tom), S (Stories – the TV shows we watched), F (Friends and Family), R (Random – basically my opinions). Here are some example questions and answers:
Q: According to the man on The Learning Channel, what is bigfoot NOT like?
A: Hollywood Neanderthals
Q: Where did I give you the heart attack punch?*
A: At the Main Street intersection on the way to El Rodeo’s
Q: What lie did my sister once tell her teacher about me?
A: That I was hearing impaired.
Q: What does it mean if it’s green?**
A: You have a sinus infection.
Q: Who deserves an Oscar more, Glenn Close or Morgan Freeman?
A: Morgan Freeman (he has since won an Oscar – I was right!)
Q: When do you know it’s about to stop snowing? ***
A: When the flakes get bigger.
And now, they will be packed away again, so that the next time they are found, I better be A. fucking 30 years older or B. dead, and my children and/or nieces and nephews are going through my stuff, cursing me for keeping crap like this. Sorry, future grown children.
*Tom made some joke at my expense that was worthy of being punched, and I punched him kind of up under the ribs and he had to take a moment because his heart hurt. I’ve yet to be able to re-create it.
**”It” is snot. This is something my mom taught me. She is not a doctor.
***As far as I can tell, this is an urban legend that began and ended in the cul-de-sac I grew up on. If anyone else held the belief that when the flakes get big and fat, it will stop snowing, please let me know.
That’s probably the only Trivial Pursuit game I would ever have a chance of mild success with. Engaging in the actual game simply forces me to realize that a) I am not going to be applying to Mensa at any point in time and b) I like pizza, as the pieces look like pizza. Then I get distracted by my love of pizza and forget that I’m not joining Mensa. I guess it kind of works out in the end.
I will only play Trivial Pursuit with non-assholes. I can’t stand people who exclaim, “You don’t know that, OH MY GOD.” I know you need to shut the fuck up, that’s what I know.
I have never heard of the snow one, but I totally got that “it” was snot. I think I’ve heard something like that before as well. Maybe our moms were in the same Things to Tell Your Kids that Sound Scientific but are Really Just Made Up Crap class before we were born.
The thing is it’s true for me 95% of the time, but that’s because I never just get a cold, I always get a sinus infection, too, so I think it’s more that I’m a bad case study.
I thought that the heart attack punch was going to be some kind of drink. I think I like the violence better. It’s more personal.
Oh, Heart Attack Punch is a great idea for a drink, though. Instead of licking salt off your hand after you drink it, you could be punched in the gut.
Practice, practice, practice, and I’m sure you’ll eventually be able to re-create the heart attack punch. Tom will be thrilled.
By both the practicing and the eventual victorious re-creation. When Kill Bill 2 came out, and they had that similar heart attack punch, I felt spied on.
A buddy of mine from Milwaukee would always say that fat flakes meant the snow wouldn’t stick. I guess the idea was that when it got just warm enough for the flakes to start sticking to each other, the weather was too warm for the snow to accumulate.
So i suppose that’s a vote in favor of fat flakes equaling the end of a snowfall.
I, however, have seen fat flakes fall fast and accumulate a few feet. So. . .
Interesting theory. I just remember we were looking out the window one day, and I said casually, “Oh, the snowflakes have gotten fat, I guess it’ll be over, soon.” And then Tom said something along the lines of, “What in the hell are you talking about?” I always assumed this was a widely accepted fact.
I am totally impressed you actually wrote out your own trivia questions. That must have been time consuming.
My stepmom is one of those ‘Gawd how did you not know that’ people, and SUPER competitive about games, while I am one of those that doesn’t want to read the rules. It’s best if she and I not play games together, it never goes well.
I mainly did them during class.
I’m between the two of you – I always read the instructions and want to play it “right,” but am really not that competitive.
I so know what I’m doing for Kiefer’s anniversary present. Thanks!
Ooh! You’ll have to blog about it!
On the contrary, your children will not be cursing you for these random bits. Those are the things that they will laugh and treasure and hold onto. I speak from experience on this one.
And I’m not *quite* an asshat Trivial Pursuit player, but I do tend to be pretty competitive about it. My family had a very interesting way of playing it that often led to three hour long games, if we were lucky. It was worse than Monopoly in terms of time commitment for our games.
I have never, ever finished a game of Monopoly, not even the electronic version. Those must be some marathon Trivial Pursuit sessions.
The blue pie (geography) is my undoing.
Bobina refuses to play Trivia games with me because, you know, I’m a half robot know-it-all prick.
We play scrabble but with our own rules. Names, dirty words, and slang counts. Yes, its fun and yes, she usually wins.
Tom used to take so long between Scrabble turns, that I swore to never play again. Then, we played Scrabble where you had to make up the word and definitions. I know those are floating somewhere out there, I need to dig them up.
Last year I played Trivial Pursuit in Scotland and had no idea what any of the questions were. “Which 1934 Cornish cricketer performed a triple parsley at Wigglestamshire despite concerns that he might krebber?” the answer is not Tom Selleck.
Wow, that sounds tough. Maybe if you just guessed Tom Selleck every time, you’d eventually get one right.