The Academy Awards are the American film industry’s highest honor. This year’s telecast is sure to be an exciting production of people dressed in fancy clothes walking up to the stage and accepting a statue if they win. Here’s some fascinating facts I guarantee you don’t know about Hollywood’s big awards show.
– Originally, The Academy members voted for Best Picture based on whether a movie had the same name as chicken parts, which is why Wings won the first award in 1928. After that, everyone agreed to go on merit.
– The design of the actual award went through a few changes before the final product was produced. I’ve been lucky enough to get my hands on the original concept art:
– In 1974 everyone thought is was adorable when 10 year old Best Supporting Actress winner Tatum O’Neal wore a tuxedo, but people weren’t as charmed by Best Actor winner Jack Lemmon’s long flowing evening gown.
– In 1975 they phased out the category “Best Cigarette Smoking.”
– Sally Field stole her famous acceptance speech “you like me, you really like me” from The Jolly Green Giant, whose catchphrase at the time was “you like peas, you really like peas.”
– In 1989 Rob Lowe sang a cheesy duet with Snow White, which we all wish we didn’t remember, but just the year before Charlton Heston and Bambi did an incredibly awkward number which is rarely ever mentioned these days.
– In 1988, there was an unprecedented three-way tie for Best Supporting Actor. The Fat Boys split the vote and each took home a statue for the 1987 film Disorderlies.
– Meryl Streep has won three acting Oscars, one for Makeup for “Harry and the Hendersons,” and one for writing the original song “It’s Hard out Here for a Pimp.”
– Two-time winner and a nominee this year, Daniel Day-Lewis is well known for his method acting. As a child, before he forged his parents’ signatures on his report cards, he would spend days in their clothes.*
– Never won an Oscar: Cary Grant, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, BIg Bird, Me, my cat Elliott, everyone who lives on my street, the last person who sold me a lottery ticket, and George Washington (fun fact: this is a real fact).
– If you’re a seat filler, and for whatever reason, if you are in a winner’s seat when that winner is announced, you get the award. AND, if you thank the original winner’s spouse or significant other, you get to take them home for the night.
Super Friends Season 2, Episode 9, Storyline D – “Volcano”
Original Airdate – October 29, 1977
Short Synopsis: First, there was a magic trick, but it was the most boring thing – Superman makes it look like he cut an envelope AND a strip of paper in half but really it was just the envelope. See aren’t you already bored? So we’ll just move on to the story…
This week’s segment has a guest superhero: Samurai, who was actually created for the cartoon shows, like the Wonder Twins. Sorry, Samurai.
“Speeding through the vastness of outer space, a strange craft from another planet rockets off course with it’s engines failing.” Narrator
Aboard is an intergalactic Green Man Group:
“We are headed straight for a planet called ‘Earth'” exclaims one. What, you mean you don’t know about us? Well, let me tell you, we’re the best and worst place ever, I’ll have you know!
“Seconds later, the strange vessel hurtles into the steaming vent of an active volcano, where it slowly begins to sink in the hot molten llllllava.” – Narrator. Ain’t that a bitch.
Later, at the Super Friends Headquarters
They are told of the spaceship by some government/NASA dude and Superman and Samurai are on the case. “Using the powers of the mind” Samurai is able to turn into “the wind.” It looks like this:
See, kids? You can do anything you set your power of the mind to.
And then, once he’s on the move, he looks like a windsock with a head:
Back at the spaceship.
I guess they can’t breathe our air because they’ve decided to stay in the spaceship in the lava (that’s not true, at the end they’re outside, perfectly fine). One says that if they can’t get the ship out, they’ll die – NO ASKING FOR HELP. Ha ha, jokes on you, you’re already gonna get some “help” whether you like it or not!
“A flying earth being is headed straight for us!” They do what any logical person would do if they saw the Super Friends version of Superman flying toward them – they activate their defense beam.
Superman can’t get past the beam and Samurai attempts to contact the aliens with a radio (WHERE on that costume he’s been keeping a radio, I have no idea). He tells them they’re only here to help, and like any reasonable person or alien, the aliens are like, “uh, no.”
So, Samurai comes up with a plan. “Calling out the Japanese words for ‘invisible,’ Samurai slowly disappears.” – Narrator
I don’t speak Japanese, so I have no idea if he actually said the words (plural) for invisible.
Then, he pulls a bunch of rope (sorry, “cable”) out his short-shorts!
Just because something is invisible doesn’t mean it doesn’t take up space. So unrealistic.
Sorry, aliens, you’re getting help.
Invisible Samurai lands on the craft sets off the sensors, which, according to the Green Man in charge, “never lie.” Not even in molten hot lava? He’s right, of course, and they press one of many yellow buttons and Samurai comes down a tube and reveals himself. I mean reveals himself as a formerly invisible person, not reveals his, you know…
The ship sinks under the lava as Superman watches helplessly because he still can’t get past the defense beams. He contacts Samurai on the radio:
Again, WHERE IS HE KEEPING THIS THING?
Samurai says he has a plan, and his plan is to pretend to be fire, then sneak out of the tube and then press a button. Yeah, I don’t know. There’s a kerfuffle, and the alien accidentally turns off the defense beams and Superman pulls them out. It was really edge-of-your-seat stuff.
“Now that your spacecraft is repaired, you can safely return to space!” – Superman
Superman obviously has no interest in where these things are actually from, who they are, or what they are up to.
The Green Guy says he’s sorry for not trusting them and “at least now we have friends on Earth.” Then, Superman says, as they’re flying away, “and we have friends in space!”
No names, addresses, or phone numbers, just a general idea that they live in space. Superman is a great friend.
Health Segment
A child is trying to win a carnival game (baseball and stacked bottles one), he throws and misses. Wonder Woman tells him to try another and he says he can’t win because his eyesight is blurry and Wonder Woman tells him to always let his parents know if his vision changes.
Notice, however, that she does not inform him that carnival games are notoriously rigged. They can’t be expected to cover more than one topic, what are they, superheroe-oh, wait.
I’m betting Wonder Woman is co-owner of this carnival game. It doesn’t matter if he gets glasses, she’s still gonna get his 10 cents (that’s how much it costs, how times have changed!).
After last week’s monstrosity, it’s time to take it easy this week, kick back, and enjoy the code word.
Code Word Part I
Aquaman is hanging out at the local go-cart track for some reason. In his superhero costume. You’d think that this would be a time maybe he could be having it cleaned since he’s obviously not on duty.
A young lady pulls up beside him and asks him why he’s there. He says he’s there to give the decoder clue. The decoder clue system is a very sloppy system. They seem to just randomly wander around until someone asks them what they’re doing and then they kind of wing it with the clue. They are just a shade away from wandering lost demented people.
Aquaman asks if she wants to hear the clue and she lies through her teeth, “I sure do! I love trying to figure out the Super Friends codes!” Yeahhhh.
“The first part of the code has two clues,” says Aquaman, buying himself some time to come up with something.
“What’s the first clue?” Asks anonymous go-carter.
“You’re sitting in it,” clues Aquaman.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but the first thing that popped into my head was – “my own urine!?” I wasn’t sitting in my own urine (this time), but I thought maybe the girl was, but then I thought, “but she’d know that Aquaman may not know she’s sitting in her own urine, so it must be ‘car.'” This is how I reach conclusions. I’ll stop sharing now.
She then asks what the second clue is, and he says, “That’s it right there.” I’ve drawn a line from his finger to the ‘it’ for clarification.
Sooo, cargo. Cargo is the first code word.
Part II
We’re back at the track and they’re out of their cars.
“That was really great,” exclaims girl.
“Sure was,” concurs Aquaman.
Flirt on your own time, people.
Aquaman says the clue is on this sign – NOT “boat,” another name for boat.
Sidetrack: this is a terrible ad. I’m assuming they want you to go on a cruise but there’s no name of the company or any contact information. I guess I noticed because I would like to be doing anything but this right now and they provided no means for me to find out more.
One of the reasons I’m daydreaming about being elsewhere is because I’m starting to feel like a third wheel.
“See if you can figure it out while we take another lap,” says Aquaman. Ok, guys, I’ll just be over here by myself with a slice of pizza like I always was in junior high and high school.
And off they go, round and round the track.
Part III
Blah, blah, the code word(s) is cargo ship.
When she gets the word(s) right, he says – “fast thinking!”
Then she says, “but I’m not fast enough to beat you around the track!” And then they both laugh and laugh.
Super Friends Season 2, Episode 9, Storyline C – “The Water Beast”
Original Airdate – October 29, 1977
Short Synopsis: Ugh. It has the word “water” in the title. It’s Aquaman’s time to “shine,” I guess.
“The mid-Atlantic, where freighters peacefully navigate the ocean, unaware that lurking many fathoms below, is the command ship of the master undersea menace – Manta” – Narrator
*Behind the scene tidbit: I’ve been sitting here for an hour and only gotten 7 or 8 seconds into the story because there’s a part of me that tries to reject the Super Friends like a body rejects an organ.*
Manta says that soon he will rule the oceans of the world and then demands that they “activate the water beast.” Like in the title!
Manta orders Water Beast to seize the freighters. I think he looks kind of cute, like when someone wins too many Grammys for them to hold.
I’d like to thank Manta, who always believed in me.
The third freighter got away by using maneuvers only an animated ship could accomplish. Manta is disappointed and believes he can reach his goals with the help of his “arch foe,” Aquaman. This prompted me to look up if this may be the first comic book canon villain that I’ve noticed and it isn’t exactly but I guess kind of is. So the first one they go for is an Aquaman villain? Ok. I guess.
Later, at the Hall of Justice
Jayna mentions that it sounds like one of Zan’s powers “gone wacko.” And just in that moment, I realized that both Zan and Aquaman’s powers are water-related and that perhaps it’s the water that makes people seem so lame. I mean I knew it, but wasn’t really conscious of it. Oh dear God I’ve been watching way too much Super Friends.
Again, I must ask.
IF ZAN DOESN’T HAVE TO BE WATER IN A BUCKET FOR JAYNA TO CARRY THEM AROUND THEN WHY DOES HE DO IT 99% OF THE TIME!?
Why don’t they just do this all the time? I just had to get that off of my chest.
Superman isn’t clear on how Water Beasts work.
I mean, I guess it’s fair – he’s never dealt with a water beast before – nobody really knows the anatomical intricacies of a water beast. But, if it’s truly a beast made of water, then trying to punch it just really isn’t going to work.
He then has the clever idea of boiling the water beast with his heat ray, but then is surprised when the Water Beast reforms itself. So, Superman is now stuck trying to figure out how to kill a bunch of water, which was Manta’s plan in the first place because now he has Aquaman all to himself.
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You’re gonna do what, now?
Ok this is when things get a little silly. I can barely follow it, so I’m just going to transcribe what Manta tells Aquaman.
“That special cage you’re in will electronically duplicate your superpowers on computer tape, which I will transfer to my water beast, making HIM invincible. Nothing will stop him!”
Manta, you had me until you called the Super Friends and told them where you would be attacking next.
Classic rookie mistake. I mean I know the point is to challenge them to defeat your newly “invincible water beast,” but still, you obviously have some other lofty goal – stick with that, don’t get sidetracked.
And while we’re on the subject, IS Aquaman invincible? It is my understanding that he can talk to fish, can hold his breath a long time, and is maybe stronger than average, but I don’t think he’s invincible. Superman is about as close as you’ll get, and he ain’t no Superman. What’s that, you say? You’re an animated character from the 1970s and can’t help me with that question? Very well.
Meanwhile at Labows Island…
Labows Island is where the water beast is going to attack. Yes, I’m guessing at the name.
The water beast is successful in not-losing to the Super Friends, who give up on stopping him and focus on evacuating the locals, which they could have done ahead of time if they ever planned anything at all.
“You’ve proved your point, Manta, what are your demands?” – Wonder Woman
Seriously? That’s it? Ok, then.
“As ruler of the seas, I forbid any ship to leave port without my permission, and without paying a heavy tribute. Violators will be severely punished by my Water Beast. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” – Manta
Batman has a “plan.”
Something about getting a captain to violate Manta’s rules so that Manta sends the Water Beast but the beast is in for a surprise because some of the Super Friends are hiding in a waterproof crate?
Something about being smuggled to Manta’s secret lair. Or something.
WHAT THE HELL
“While the super freighter heads for the open sea, thousands of miles away, Superman and Wonder Woman are doing aerial acrobatics to raise money for charity.” – Narrator
“I hope Batman’s plan works!” – Wonder Woman
“Until it does, we have to be seen here, so Manta won’t suspect a trap!” – Superman
What I assume was said earlier:
Superman: Uh, yeah, uh, we’d love to help save the seas and our friend Aquaman, but, um, you know..we have that thing…
Wonder Woman: Ohhhhh, yeahhh, that charity thing. Yeahhhh, we can’t get out of that. Sorry.
And how is Batman’s plan going?
They somehow get loose (it involves a batgadget) and then Zan turns into steam and Jayna a mosquito and find Aquaman but then they get trapped in a can at the bottom of the sea and then the pressure starts to crush the can..
They’re saved by some jellyfish because Aquaman used his powers which I thought he either didn’t have anymore or was being blocked. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be addressed. And then the plan completely fails and they all regroup at Headquarters because Super Friends hates me and this story line just won’t end.
Alllright…
All the food except for a few carrot sticks has been eaten and there’s one lonely drunk girl on the dance floor, I think it’s time to wrap this party up.
The Super Friends do something smart and consult with a scientist who analyzed the water beast and they all decide splitting the water beast in to smaller units is a good idea even though he lives in the ocean which is a bottomless supply of water and you know what fuck it let’s just go with it…
Sorry, one more little nitpick – the water beast is headed for New York, which the Super Friends have known for quite a while. Did they evacuate the city? I think we all know the answer.
Ok, back to just letting the plan happen…
Batman and Robin vacuum up the water beast into separate containers. The day is saved!
Holy Fucking Shit Zan is Useful.
I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought this day would come. And, while it is a stupid convoluted plan, within the framework of that plan….Zan actually did something only he could contribute:
He became the water beast, luring Manta to the surface and into the hands of the authorities.
I can’t take anymore. A long insane story that ends in Zan saving the day? It’s too much for me to handle. Next week he’ll be back turning into ice bridges to save a teenager from popping a pimple and all will be right in the world but until then it’s a confusing, sad place to live.
Super Friends Season 2, Episode 9, StorylineB – “Game of Chicken”
Original Airdate – October 29, 1977
Short Synopsis: At Al’s Drive-In, two cars vie for the same parking space. “Out of my way, Mill,” exclaims Lans. Mill and Lans are the names I heard, so I’m going with it.
Lans says he always parks there, and then Mill says he has the muscles to back up his claim. Oh my god it’s already so boring. Mill tells Lans, “You wouldn’t be so brave if you didn’t have muscles!” Ok, well, yeah, that kind of stands to reason.
Mill then proposes a game of chicken, “unless of course, YOU’RE chicken!” Snap. Wow, both of these guys seem like real gentlemen. Mill proposes having this game of chicken in what I swear is “in my dad’s boots,” but that can’t be right.
And I guess the guy’s name could be “Lance” but that’s NOT how they’re saying it. I’m getting off track (ha ha! like in a game of chicken!).
The Wonder Twins are bowling, because that’s the only thing that can be more boring than The Wonder Twins. The Wonder Twins bowling.
Jayna says that “bowling is right up Gleek’s alley,” and just when I was about to go stick my head in the oven, the Twins get the Trouble Alert.
Ohhhh, BOATS, not Boots.
Mill and Lans race each other along a mountain road on the way to a marina, and they’re having a complete back-and-forth conversation over their roaring engines (bunch of trash talk).
But who’s there to stop them? Jayna, Zan, and Gleek, who’s grown like a foot and a half.
Those two dummies stop their cars, and Jayna and Zan tell them surely there’s some other, safer way to resolve their issues.
“Why suuuure, we’ll shake hands and make up,” says one of them (I can’t keep track), dripping with sarcasm.
“Good!” says naive and stupid Zan.
“AFTER I cream him on the river!” clarifies that one guy. And then, he does this:
I take everything bad back I said about him. We’re to be married in the spring.
Then the Wonder Twins have to do their little power move covered in mud to rush to aid the jerks who did this to them.
“Form of, someone who wasn’t just completely humiliated!”
And here’s those boots boats everyone’s been talking about.
So the guys finally make it to their boats. One does indeed chicken out (the smart one, I guess), and then the other one’s “steering cable” breaks and he is helplessly careening towards a waterfall.
And then this is how they save him?
Pretty self explanatory. Zan became and ice ramp and then Jayna became a walrus to the stop the boat by hitching her back flippers into the boat and then digging her walrus tusks into her own brother. Really, it’s what any of us would have done.
