Fancy Panties:
1. Are not found in drugstores.
2. Are not found in bins.
3. Are not 10/$10
4. Are not advertised on canary yellow office supply paper.
5. Should either have real gems and precious metals on them, be made of money, or have real stolen art/ancient artifacts woven throughout (comfort is of no concern).
I’m testing too, and I smell hot dogs.
Are you sure you don’t smell spam? Wait, I take that back. I bet these panties did smell like hot dogs.
Also, fancy panties are never referred to as fancy panties.
Very true.