Do you think fingerless gloves are weird and don’t fit your needs? Do you want to have your palm read by the fortune teller but want to protect yourself from germs? Do you want to keep your fingers and the back of your hand covered but still want to feel your own skin against the warm face skin of the person you’re slapping?
Ed the Dog has the solution for you! Introducing, just in time for Christmas, the amazing Palmless Glove (TM)! No more hassling to remove your glove to jerk off. Now, you can spy on your neighbor in the bushes, jack off, and still stay warm!
Palmless Gloves will revolutionize winter high-fiving. Get a pair for Grandma (better grip, less falling down the stairs!) and a pair for yourself!
Right now we only have the prototype, which was found on the living room floor, lying there like a money-making angel. But, if there’s enough interest, Ed is more than willing to do his part to be sure that everyone who wants a pair can have one under their Christmas tree this year.
While in the picture, it doesn’t look like he’s very proud of his creation, and it may make you think that Palmless Gloves are not as awesome as they seem, I assure you, he looks like that most of the time, particularly when he’s being held. He’s a maven, an innovator, an accessory genius. The little shit.
22 thoughts on “Ed the Dog – Fashion Innovator”
Aww, he looks ashamed. But what a smart dog.
I’m going to buy a pair for all my male friends. Think of all the time they’ll save, not having to remove the glove before handling business and all.
He’s a genius, he doesn’t even HAVE hands!
Oops. Ed the Dog does look “caught”. He should be proud of his creation, I say, PROUD. The men of America will be oh so happy for this gift…
Yeah, that’s what Ed keeps telling me.
Your dog is a genius! My dog has invented the “dog blanket” where he acts as MY blanket, but that’s about it and totally unmarketable.
My cat “invented” the cat paperweight, but I told him that every cat in history has invented that.
What you dog doesn’t know is that there are Hipsters who would form a line around the BLOCK for those gloves.
He said he knew that, that’s why he made the gloves. He’s way smarter than me.
Aww, see? He’s just trying to contribute to the family expenses by creating a totally marketable new fad. Think of the infomercials! Maybe Suzanne Somers is available. I mean, look what she did with that thighmaster. This could be the next big thing!
I don’t know, I don’t think I want it to be too successful, I don’t want to have to constantly monitor his poop to make sure the palms make it through safely.
Oh, wait, Ed is telling me that was just for the prototype, we can just make them with out the palms. See? Smarter than me.
Call Johnny Depp…he would wear those. And you would be famous, or Ed would be, and Johnny would take you to Disney Land so you could fill out that questionnaire they sent. Leave it to Ed to make the magic happen!
You’re right! I could definitely see Johnny Depp in those!
There is NO WAY you can be anything but proud of that little face!
He just might be on to something.
See if he does toeless socks. For pedicure days. I would totally go for that.
Get Ed an agent. Soon.
He’s tried to create toeless socks, but I’ve managed to catch him and crush his vision every time.
I have oddly shaped hands. If I send Ed plaster casts of them, is he willing to chew to my specifications?
I will send soft leather gloves so as not to offend his genius palate, and I pay in beef jerky.
He says those terms are acceptable.
When you list the benefits of a palmless glove, how can we refuse to admit their awesomeness? This is yet another reason to add to my list titled “We need a dog”….
I would say the number one reason on the list of why to get a dog is blog content. Particularly if they are little weirdos like Ed is.
Holy shit, this is so freaking funny that it brighten my whole day! I think every man could use a pair of gloves that make jacking off in the bushes on a cold winter night a little easier!
Thanks, Paula! I’m starting to feel bad for even questioning the marketability of palmless gloves. I think I owe Ed an apology.
haha – Ed the Dog is very fashion-forward.
Maybe he should audition for Project Runway.