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Super Friends Season 2, Episode 8 – Safety Segment

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 8 – Safety Segment

Short and sweet this week. Next week is another bear-related storyline. Bears!

Original Airdate – October 22, 1977

Wonder Woman is flying over a city in her plane and witnesses a kid and his mom about to cross the street. Mom is leading her kid right into the street away from the crosswalk.

The kid is all, “mom, no, you use a crosswalk, stupid.”

And when they reach the other side of the street, there’s Wonder Woman, magically landed and out of her plane. Where the hell is her plane and how did she land it so fast? This is not the first time the Safety Segment has had unbelievable traffic laws of physics.

“I spotted the two of you from my jet. I wanted to compliment you on your safety sense. Deciding to use the crosswalk – smart move, congratulations!”

So the Super Friends have now even run out of people to teach lessons to? Now they’re just running around congratulating people for things they should have done in the first place? There’s not even a cat in a tree they could help?

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

 

A Trip to the State Fair, Part Two: The World’s Blankiest Blank

At our state fair, you can find more blankiest blanks than you could ever dream. The World’s Biggest Horse, The World’s Smallest Horse, The World’s Smallest Woman, etc. They used to have a Giant Rat years ago, and when you wandered any where near this exhibit you could hear, over and over, loud enough to soar over all the other noise – “GIANT RAT! GIANT RAT!” The rat must have died because I didn’t see him this year (and by “see him” I mean see the structure that houses him, I would never pay to see a giant rat).

Two things I noticed at these exhibits – first of all, the descriptor “educational” for the World’s Smallest Woman:

“So you see boys and girls, if you are born below average size, you too can travel the country being displayed as a novelty for profit!” I’m assuming that is the educational aspect of it as I don’t think any kind of lengthy lecture on genetics is in the cards (they look so huge when she holds them!).

Second, the reassurance that all of these things are alive.

Yeah, of course they’re alive. If they weren’t they would have been deep fried and sold as a snack.

But, I have to say, as far as side shows go – I got to see one for free! You see, I went to the bathroom. Wait, tangent:

All the bathrooms had attendants – why? Because State Fair attendees are the filthiest people on earth and cannot be trusted not to turn every inch of surface into a toilet, that’s why. These attendants all had tip jars everywhere in these bathrooms. Some even had signs on the mirrors – “Imagine how bad this bathroom would be without an attendant.” While I appreciated that there were attendants, I wasn’t planning on tipping any. One was sitting on a stool (a sitting stool, not, you know…), eating a bowl of soup, saying “welcome” with her mouth full, for example. No, I do not tip for having to watch someone eat food in a public restroom.

However, I entered one bathroom, found an empty stall, and as I was closing the door a desperate cry rang out: “DON’T LET HER GO IN THERE, SHE’S GONNA GET PEE ON HER!” That fucking hero got a damn tip.

End tangent.

At a different bathroom, as I exited, this caught my eye:

Either this lady was taking a nap, or she was being punished by the Blair Witch. I don’t think she was a bathroom attendant, I’m pretty sure she was a fair visitor. I can only assume that eventually, someone built an exhibit around her and now she’s a fair side-show.

A Trip to the State Fair, Part One

Ten years ago Tom and I moved to the Atlanta area. For ten years, I’ve missed out on the North Carolina State Fair.

While I realize that since the state fair is comprised of traveling rides and food carts, my state’s state fair is probably not much different from any other state fair. But, I like to pretend it’s special, and, really, since every single thing is in the exact same place every single year – it is kind of unique in that way (meaning that say the South Carolina state fair probably puts the Worlds Smallest Horse in a different same place every year than North Carolina). That’s one thing I love about it – it doesn’t really change, although I would say this year there were less peanut shells all over the ground, just an observation.

After finally making it back to North Carolina, one of the things I was really looking forward to was getting to go to the State Fair again.

We (Tom, my sister, and I) went on a Wednesday afternoon, which meant a light crowd, which is good – less second hand smoke and faster access to fried foods. We arrived hungry, because as we all know, it is important to save as much room as possible for the delicious treats. But, we’re health-conscious folks, so luckily, we found some healthy fare:

This was called a “bucket” of fried veggies, which I find misleading. I would think a bucket would be at least the size of a standard beach sand pail. That’s not so say that we should have or want an entire sand pail of fried foods (lie), but if you’re going to sell a bucket of something fried – by god, it should be a bucket. I’m pretty sure that’s in the constitution.

But we didn’t let this get us down – we persevered – it’s amazing how brave humans can be in the face of inaccurate bucket descriptions. We plowed on! We moved forward! Tom and Mandy shared some sweet potato fries and I had an ear of roasted corn that was dipped in a vat of butter substance. I know, it’s inspiring.

One thing my sister likes to do every year is go and see the professional cakes from the cake decorating competition. As we made our way through the building, we found winning deserts in the non-cake category:

This is just cruel. “Oh, look! These treats were so delicious, they won ribbons and everything! You can’t have any!”

After sighing and fogging up the glass wishing I could taste what at that point was probably stale, brick-hard cookies, I noticed my sister standing in a long line.

I thought, “ooh, maybe they’re passing out samples of winning deliciousness,” so I went over and asked her why she was in line.

She was in line to LOOK at the winning cakes. I wish I had gotten a picture of it. The line was probably 20-25 people long. It was the only line we stood in the whole day. I tweeted about the absurdity of waiting in a long line to simple see a cake, not eat one. I had several responses that pretty much said “why in the hell would you do that?” I don’t know, other than because my sister wanted to stand in line to see cakes, that meant we had to wait for her to see the cakes, so we might as well wait in line, too.

The cakes were alright, I guess. My two favorites were the headless horseman and Alice in Wonderland cakes:

My first thought was, “I want that headless horseman cake served at my funeral.” Immediately after that was, “I want some cake.”

And you know what? The fair doesn’t sell slices of cake! Maybe some cupcakes, but not actual slices of a whole cake. And that, that just really gets to me. As much as I love the fair, there are elements that reflect the crushing disappointment that life can be.

Sometimes a bucket full of fried goods isn’t actually a bucket, and sometimes you have to wait in line for cake and not actually have any cake. But what do you do? You pick up the pieces, and then fry them, sprinkle them with powdered sugar, and you eat that shit. That’s what you do.

Stay tuned for my next installment of “A Trip to the State Fair,” which will pretty much just be more musings about fried foods.

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 8, Storyline A – “The Invisible Menace”

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 8, Storyline A – “The Invisible Menace”

Original Airdate – October 22, 1977 (You might notice that I don’t seem to be writing these in proper chronological order. That’s because the order they are presented on the DVDs and the order they aired according to Wikipedia don’t line up. Which, if you think about it fits in well with the general scrambled mess that is Super Friends).

Short Synopsis: “Deep beneath the Atlantic Ocean, a strange submarine moves along the treacherous sea bottom.” – Narrator

Narrator, don’t you mean IN the Atlantic Ocean? Not “beneath,” beneath would mean the are below the Earth’s crust. You know, never mind, it doesn’t matter.

The guys on the submarine mumble something about an island and a Professor Fairweather testing an “undersea mining device” and how safety standards are stupid and time is of the essence.

Then, the captain, named Neemus(?) or whatever activates the vanishing ray, which makes everyone and everything look like Wonder Woman’s invisible plane:

Meanwhile, on the island.

Professor Fairweather is getting ready to test his Ultrasonic Mining Device, and he warns his assistant, Peterson, that if it isn’t tested slowly, it’s power could be devastating if it gets out of control.

Here’s what I don’t get, they planned to test it “in two hours,” but that wasn’t fast enough for Team Invisible? Anyway, Team Invisible sneaks onto the boat and hijacks the device and takes Fairweather with them.

Peterson is then left behind to warn the Super Friends and because there’s water involved, we all know what that means!

Aquaman and Superman are on the case.

“With my keen aquatic senses it shouldn’t take too long, let’s go!” – Aquaman, always the kidder.

Aquaman and Superman find the submarine, but then Neemus makes it invisible again, thus requiring Superman’s infrared vision. Neemus releases an invisible killer whale and this happens:

How embarrassing. I think we’ve all walked into a sliding glass door but an invisible killer whale is really something you never live down. That is, of course, unless the only other witness is Aquaman, and this happens:

Then I guess you both just agree to never speak of it again.

Superman saves Aquaman from the killer whale. Who was it that had “keen aquatic senses,” again?

When villains tell superheroes what to do, they listen.

Neemus announces that Superman and Aquaman better stop following them, or “Professor Fairweather will suffer the consequences.”

Superman says, “I think we better do as he says.”

Oh, but wait! They DO continue to pursue, but in a less obvious fashion. Superman flies above, tracking the submarine, and Aquaman hides behind a big purple and pink manta.

Aquaman boards the sub and sprays the invisible crew with octopus ink. He then ties up the Captain and looks just as surprised as anyone that he did it.

AND THEN…

The mining device activates, which causes an underwater earthquake. Superman fixes all that with lots of punching.

“I hope I never see another invisible submarine!” – Aquaman

But you DIDN’T see it, Aquaman, because it was invisible. Duh.

 

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.