I was looking around wishbookweb.com, which I love to do a disturbing amount, and decided to flip through the 1979 Sears Wishbook. Here’s some of the things I found:
I don’t care how innocent and out-of-the-gutter your mind is, there’s no way you see this picture of two couples in matching-but-different-color silk pajamas and NOT assume they are all going to have sex together.
Don’t these two look like the nerdy hero lead of a 1980s movie and his bully? If only both of them knew when they get home from school they put on the same robe, maybe that’d change everything.
Check out this super creepy Santa:
Did people seriously wear “Twas the Night Before Christmas” nightcaps even in the late 1970s?
In most of the menswear pictures, the guys all have one of their hands clenched like they’re holding something. My theory is that they’re cyanide pills and that no male models made it out of the photoshoot alive.
Did you think Snuggies were something new? You were so wrong.
Hey, kids, what do you think of Winnie the Pooh?!
And, lastly, on a VERY serious note – PLEASE SOMEONE FIND ME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE WALL CLOCKS:
The guy in the snuggies picture has a look on his face that seems to be saying “Why are you doing this to me? Again.”
And she seems to have a sinister faux-cheery, “YOU KNOW WHY.” So many layer in one simple picture of two ridiculous looking people.
Why are the men wearing dresses in that one? Was it the TransvestiteWishBook? Because those are some shapely masculine legs there.
“I fucking hate Winnie the Pooh” made me actually laugh out loud. That’s right, a real live LOL in its natural habitat.
I’m on the lookout for those clocks.
I thought only Ebenezer Scrooge wore those kinds of man nightgowns, but I guess not? It’s why they’re all have cyanide pills.
Re: pic 1 – Surely you called that one correctly. Those four are about to get down.
No doubt.
Ahhh the ’79 wishbook… cuh-lassic! By the way, I asked for EVERY SINGLE pair of pajamas on page 20. I got the Star Wars robe instead. I’ll refer you to everything Jim Gaffigan ever said about wearing robes and say that they’re totally true. That poor robe saw more vomit splatters and toilet water dunking than any piece of clothing should ever be subjected to.
I actually saved page 20 myself just so I can revisit it whenever I want! Every single one of those pajamas are awesome. And robes are nasty, yes.
I don’t ever want to feel so casual that I’m only *slightly* amused by a giant crotch, especially a polyester one. If that sucker catches on fire, it ain’t gonna be pretty.
I would hope a giant crotch fire would snap them out of their casualness.
Holy potato sacks and Gumby pants, Batman! What the camel hump is going on here?! I think I may have just peed my pants a little, but I’m too busy laughing to check. It’s the giant crotch’s fault.
What is up with the guys holding those pills? It almost looks as if, instead of “cheese”, the photographer told them to say, “I really like these pajamas!” while acting like a pirate.
It’s very strange, it’s not just those guys, it’s like every guy in the catalog. They should have given them a pen or a knife to hold.
For my first Christmas in 1981, I was absolutely wearing one of those “Night Before Christmas” hats with matching pajamas. Scout’s honor.
Wow, we have confirmation! Thank you.
The Winnie the Pooh photo is the best thing on the internet today, and I laughed out loud at work and pretended I was sneezing. I have a cold, I think they bought it.
I want to know why the “Deluxe Mountain Fir” is $10 more when it looks all ratty. That’s confusing.
Also, the Cyanide Triplets are SO HAPPY they’re about to die. SO SO HAPPY.
I love the children in these wishbooks, there are so many who just can’t muster a smile and then everyone was like, “eh, good enough.”
the faces on every adult in these ads… they remind me of the wistful look on Steve Carrel’s face on the 40 Year Old Virgin DVD box cover. Classy.
Yes! That’s exactly what they look like.
The guys in the nighties are happy because, even though they are going to die soon, at least their jammies will be wrinkle-free. Perma-Prest Flannel for the win.
They’re so wrinkle-free, they can go from the bed to the coffin with no muss or fuss!
Exactly. That, and they will be out of their misery.
I just thought that everyone in the ’70s had really flat asses. Because it’s so hard for me to imagine why you’d voluntarily wear pants that do that to your butt.
Although now that I think about it, maybe it was to distract from the camel toe.
Well, if you have a problem with camel toe, you could always wear your comforter to hide it.
Ok, let me try this again. Just tried to comment that this was hilarious and as I sit here unable to sleep at 3 something in the morning with half anxiety/half tummy ache this made me feel like maybe my day wouldn’t suck.
Then half way through typing Windows shut down my computer for an update.
*sigh*
I’m sorry that your computer was mean but thank you so much for taking the time to re-type the nice thoughts. Hope your tummy is better.
I had that Spiderman wall clock, christmas, 1980, I think. I would ask my mom, but I’m afraid she’d tell me I wore those pajamas as a kid.
A few years ago, I saw clips of this documentary they made about Plato’s Retreat, the 1970s swingers club in New York. Most of the creeps and freaks in that documentary were wearing those robes. *shudder*
Ooooh, I’m jealous you had that clock.
Oh man, I so needed that laugh because so far it’s been a shitty morning! Thanks for that!
You’re welcome and thank you!
The things that gets me about the models in all those pictures is that they probably all know they are wearing huge fire hazards on their bodies, yet they’re being forced to smile against their will. It makes me sad.
All of these people do look like they are trying REALLY hard to look happy.
We had one of those hideous patterned snuggie prototypes. My eyes may never recover.
Wow, really? So was it actually used – someone in your family would take their comforter and then snap it up and then come down for breakfast?
“rejects every curve”
BWAHAHAHA. Nice one.
Thanks, Dawnie
The little man in the corner of the Perma-Prest is hilarious. It’s like he’s saying, “this is so emasculating, but that’s ok!”
I love the little people with the big people, it’s just surreal.
Thank for alerting me to yet another web site which will rob giant portions of my life.
And for being hilarious.
Thanks. And sorry. I’ve wasted so many hours there. So, so many.
The men’s flannel PJs are “Perma Prest” -THANK GOD. I get so fucking tired of ironing Matt’s pajamas.
I know! Slaving over a hot iron – pajamas, underwear, socks, gloves – it just never ends!
When I saw the ass ugly comforter snuggies I gagged a little. True story.
Me, too.
I’m making it my personal mission to find that Wonder Woman clock…well…two of them.
I would be forever indebted to you if you found one.