Tag: Super Friends

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7 – De-Coder Clue

Original Airdate – December 10, 1977

This week I only had time to focus on the code word for the next story.

The Saga of the Code Word
Wonder Woman in her invisible jet spies a Father-Son Picnic and decides, “I’ll try out my decoder clues at that picnic.”

Uh huh, and grab a plateful of free food while you’re at it. I got you, Wonder Woman.

For some reason, a bunch of the kids are practicing rope tricks. I’m not a son and have never attended a father-son picnic, so I guess this is just what y’all do there.

“This picnic has a perfect clue to my secret code word,” says Wonder Woman.

“What’s the clue?” asks child cowboy number one.

“You all are! You all have fathers here and what you are to your fathers is the first part of the code word!” – Wonder Woman

Ok, um, disappointments? Dream crushers? Burdens? Oh, no, wait, I started guessing too soon. Wonder Woman flings her lasso, which somehow begins pointing to the clue answer.

zzz
Part II
Wonder Woman expands the confounding nature of the stupid clues. They are either completely obvious: “We’re in a cave! The first clue is where we are.” Or, they are manipulated and wrestled to the ground and then beaten to submission. This is that kind of clue.
What follows is the full conversation, with Wonder Woman playing the role of Clue God, manipulating each player into eventually and excruciatingly arriving at the damn clue.
Wonder Woman begins a footrace between the kids.

Kid: What’s the next clue?
Wonder Woman (upbeat and bossy): Award the trophy first!
Kid: Hey, that was terrific! Here’s your trophy! (hands winning kid trophy)
Wonder Woman: Just a minute, could you polish it for him?
Kid: Ok? (polishes trophy) …there, that’ll make it shine
Winning kid: Thanks!
Wonder Woman: And thanks for the decoder clue!
Kid: Clue?
Wonder Woman: You just saw the second clue, it’s what you gave that trophy a moment ago!

Part III

The decoder word is sunshine. Sunshine.

The kids figure it out, good for them. And this image is actually an optical illusion:

It looks like her invisible plane is in front of their table full of food, but no, that table is empty and all the food is in the plane. Wonder Woman stole all that food. Then, just like that, (blows fingers like Verbal Kint), she was gone.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7, Storyline B – “Runaways”

Original Airdate – December 10, 1977

Safety Segment
Aquaman is swimming in a public pool, as he does all the time, apparently. Nearby are some kids about to play a game of baseball.

Aquaman approaches the catcher and asks him (or her, I can’t tell) if he’s going to put his catcher safety equipment on and the kid tells Aquaman that they’re in a hurry and he doesn’t have time. “There’s always time to play it safe,” Aquaman says to really wrap up this condom metaphor.

And then, in NOT A CREEPY WAY AT ALL, Aquaman joins in the fun.

Short Synopsis: No, this isn’t about Joan Jett and Lita Ford’s band. It’s a Wonder Twins story. Everyone try to contain your excitement.

“In the dark hours of early morning, two young teens are about to embark on a dangerous journey.” – Narrator

Jay and Mike are running away from home. Jay wakes up his sister when he’s sneaking out of the house. She asks him why he’s running away and, according to Jay – “We’ll be on our own, it’ll be fun! We won’t have to follow our parents’ orders any longer.” They’re headed for Central City, which everyone seems to be implying is a really crappy place to run away to.

What?
As you all know, The Wonder Twins are always shown doing some stupid activity before they’re alerted to whatever stupid emergency they have to go help with.

This time, this is what they’re doing:

“A few more flowers and we’ll have the best float in Metropolis Day Parade.” – Zan

Screw you, Zan, Jayna, and Gleek and your parade-float-making-selves. I hate you. And why is Aquaman standing there not doing anyth-wait, nevermind, why is Wonder Woman standing there not doing anything?

Then something wonderful happens. Gleek is frightened by a bee and the whole thing is ruined.

If only the episode just ended there, it would have been my favorite Wonder Twins story. But, no, Jay’s dumb sister calls them up to let them know about those runaways.
Jay and Mike didn’t plan well.
The bus trip to Central City used up all of Jay and Mike’s money. “We gotta find a job, and a place to stay,” says Jay out loud at a seedy bus station. Yes, folks, it’s time for another “I can’t believe The Super Friends are going there” plotline, where teenagers are almost turned into sex slaves but in a Saturday-morning-cartoony kind of way.

The guys run in to a fella named Sully (what a lovely name). Sully is surely portrayed by the same creep as in “Hitchike” – he’s got that exact Jack-Nicholson-with-an additional-helping-of-sleaze-voice. Here’s a creep side-by-side comparison:

“Say fellas, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. I’m Sully. You’re welcome to stay at my place for the night,” Sully says in his creepiest creeptastic way. “Don’t worry about it, everything will be fiiiiine,” he further creeps. The boys reluctantly agree, and then he CREEPILY SMIRKS A CREEPY SMIRK.
Wait, it gets better.
The Wonder Twins ask the cashier if he’s seen the boys and he answers, “Sure, I remember seeing two boys, they left with a guy named Sully. Nasty one he is. Probably headed for Sully’s place now, somewhere on the far end of town.”

Back at Sully’s pad, which looks like this:

You can find this entire set, “The Creep Collection,” at Rooms To Go.

Sully says: “After you fellas rest up, I gotta little job planned for us.” The job? Knocking over a liquor store. HEY, that’s not a job in the traditional sense! Y’all, I’m starting to think this Sully isn’t a stand-up guy. Jay and Mike inform him that, no, they are not criminals and they will not be participating in this so-called “job.” Sully says that’s ok and thanks them for the company and offers to drive them home. HA, I’m just joshing, the kids try to escape and he pursues them across a rooftop.

The boys are cornered on the roof and jump down to a fire escape, which, of course, starts to give way.

Jayna turns into a giraffe so they can slide down her neck to safety.

Zan turns into “giant ice handcuffs” and is FLOWN by Gleek with his propeller tail to chase Sully.

Sully is then handcuffed by a teenage super hero in the shape of handcuffs that are made of ice.

And then Jay and Mike are returned safely and everyone’s lessons are learned and then Gleek demonstrates what this episode was:

P.S. In a crazy spell check mishap, I spelled “liquor” wrong in the post and in a picture. I’m not fixin’ the picture, so let’s all remember that liqueur is sold at liquor stores.

P.P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

Super Friends Season 2, Episode 6, Storyline D – “Flood of Diamonds”

Original Airdate – October 1977

Short Synopsis: Flood of diamonds? That sounds like a problem we’d all like to have, am I right? Am I right?

Anyway, “[something something], South Africa, home of the world’s richest diamond mines…” – Narrator

We see miners mining:

There’s a cave in, and then for some reason, the cave starts to flood.

Meanwhile, at Justice League Headquarters
“Green Lantern and I will take care of it!” Aquaman volunteers Green Lantern, forcing Green Lantern to have to hang out with Aquaman.

Aquaman and Green Lantern to the rescue.
When they get there, they find they have to swim underwater to the miners. Green Lantern’s ring forms an air bubble for him to swim around in.

Then, they strut and strategize, or “strutagize” as I like to call it because I’m all about efficiency.

Because a straight forward rescue is never enough.
We find out two of the workers (one played by Willem Dafoe somehow) are planning on stealing some of the diamonds for their troubles.

They become worried because they think Aquaman and Green Lantern will save them all before they hide the diamonds. First of all, why would they think Aquaman and Green Lantern would save them quickly? That’s not how the Super Friends roll. And secondly, how long does it take to shove some diamonds up your butt?

So, they decide to make themselves harder to rescue by letting loose some kind of giant drill. Then, when it does what it’s supposed to – knocks a support beam down and makes it harder to rescue them – suddenly they’re all upset about it. I feel a lesson coming on!

The Stupedist Plan Ever
Aquaman and Green Lantern think this new snag means there won’t be time to save them. This is the first thing that comes to Aquaman’s mind and they go with it. This is an actual quote:

Green Lantern replies, “Let’s give it a try!” So, Green Lantern is as dumb as the rest of them. Good to know.

“Later, off the coast of South Africa.” – Narrator
Oh yeah, I can definitely see how this is the quickest and best way to save everyone.

Step 1: Summon whale with your aquatic telepathic powers.
Step 2: Create whale transport vehicle out of your magic green lantern ring

Step 3: Fly giant whale to flooded cave.
Step 4: “guide the whale through the mine.”

Step 5: Have the whale ram through the cave-in.
Step 6: Risk killing the whale because of the shallow waters caused by breaking through the cave-in.

THEY DIDN’T SHOW THE WHALE BEING RETURNED TO THE OCEAN. I can only assume there’s now a giant whale carcass stuck in a mine in South Africa now. What a depressing ending.

Health
Ok, I’m not sure where to even start with this. Usually, the Health segment is all of 30 seconds long and is like: “Bananas, yo, eat ‘em.” But this week’s Health is the most bizarre thing I think I’ve ever seen on Super Friends and you know that’s saying a lot.

Superman is flying over the forest and sees this:

Just your standard young child being chased by a bear. This of course had no affect on me as the children of the Super Friends universe are rarely not being menaced by wild animals.

The kid, casually glancing behind him, sees the bear catching up and says, “Uh oh! I better get movin’!” As if he’s late for soccer practice. Again, not too terribly strange considering the source.

This is where the mushrooms must have really kicked in during the writer’s meeting. Superman swoops down and rescues the boy.

And, just because it’s too good not to share all of it, here’s the dialog:

Boy: Gee, thanks, Superman! I can usually run a lot faster than that!
Superman: Here’s the reason you’re not at your best this morning – you skipped breakfast!
Boy: Gee, how’d ya know!?
Superman: When you skip meals, you don’t give your body fuel to run on.
Boy: I didn’t know that. From now on there won’t be any fuel shortage for my body.

THE END.

That’s it. THAT’S IT. Boys and girls, the only reason you wouldn’t be able to OUTRUN A FUCKING BEAR is because you didn’t eat your breakfast.

And I thought setting kids up for stitches was bad.

 

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.