Tag: Super Friends

Season 1 – Episode 15: “The Planet-Splitter”

Airdate was December 15th, 1973

Short Synopsis – Jewels is disappearin’! It’s only diamonds over 100 karats, and they’ve narrowed the list down to 4 other jewels in danger of being stolen. A guy named Dr. LaBond and his assistant Wilbur need the diamonds to “derive” their “special powers” to make his planet-splitter work.

The Super Friends decide to track the last three diamonds with a “micro dot.”

This was a pretty awful episode. Most of it was driving and flying around, the (very poorly told) story of Superman’s origins, and Wendy and Marvin arguing with the villain to just please drop them off in any American city after they get stuck on his space ship.

WTF Screenshots
This is a gorilla winning a kewpie doll at a circus carnival.

Here’s the County Museum of Art – lots of priceless shit here.

Here’s a lady who forgot to wear her pants to the County Museum of Art.

I think this is a perfect summation of everything about Super Friends.

Wendy and Marvin’s Parents are Idiots    
Superman flies away and abandons Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog at the circus (they went there to protect a giant diamond, which if you know anything about Super Friends, you know it was still stolen anyway). Robin finally mentions that he hasn’t seen them around in a while, and Superman assures him that he totally left them to fend for themselves and he’s sure they’re having a wonderful time.

Wendy and Marvin become the grandpa from The Princess Bride
While on the space ship with Dr. Labond and Wilbur, Wilbur asks Wendy and Marvin to tell him the story of Superman. Dr. LaBond says it will be a long ride home, so go ahead. We then spend about a third of the damn episode in a flashback, watching Superman’s dad argue with a bunch of bureaucrats about what to do to save the people of their planet.

Then, we see baby Superman scaring earthly bureaucrats, making them pawn him off on the Kents because they don’t want to be responsible for him. Which, when you think about it, is pretty terrible.

Superman makes sure no one is left out and also that that the villain almost ruins two planets.
Superman, Batman, and Robin all arrive at the hidden lair after tracking one of the “microdotted” diamonds. Robin ask if they should go in, you know, because it’s an emergency, and Superman says, “Wonder Woman and Aquaman are just arriving, we’ll wait for them.”

“If Superman’s your idol, then you better not break up a planet. He won’t like it.” – Wendy

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.

Season 1 – Episode 14: “Gulliver’s Gigantic Goof”

Airdate was December 8, 1973.

Short Synopsis: Dr. Gulliver plans to shrink everyone in the world “down to an economical, convenient size” except for himself, and his cat, Igor. But animals and children aren’t affected by his miniaturizing ray because of the difference in metabolic rates. Please don’t ask any follow-ups about that, I’m only the messenger.

Yes! Villain with a Cat!

This is the Peter Lorre-like villain, required for every animated series ever.

Aquaman, Super Hero
Aquaman finally does something helpful, but it doesn’t involve being able to chat up dolphins and manta rays.

Only One More Point Before Total World Domination, or Something.
Robin points! Aquaman, I’m looking at you…

WTF Screenshots
Batman holds two itty bitty astronauts. I want one!

You can’t go tiny with out a matchbook – it’s the law.

I’m not sure what the hell is going on here.

You knew where this was going. It is the only logical conclusion.
Yes, ALL of the Super Friends are shrunk.

If you ever needed more proof that the Super Friends are incompetent, then here:

Shut Up, Batman.
Batman and Robin have just been shrunk down to about 2 inches tall. This, they take in stride, but when Dr. Gulliver announces that they’ve arrived at his castle, Batman exclaims, “A CASTLE!? IN AMERICA?!”

Enter the Green Arrow.
Super Friends have fucked up so bad, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog have to come to their rescue. Who do they call? Green Arrow. Why? Because all the other super heroes are unreachable due to their participation in “a space mission, too far away for us to call.”

And guess what happens to him within a minute of showing up? Yep. And this is what’s in his glove compartment. Matchbook, spool of thread, coins and paper clips. It’s like he KNEW he was going to shrink.

Super Friends Speak the Truth.
“You’re no help to me bottled up like a bunch of pickles.” – Green Arrow

“But people don’t want to be two inches tall. Or one inch. Or whatever YOU’VE decided to make them.” – Superman

And now, a preview of the much anticipated “The Dark Knight Rises.”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.

Due to a crummy week, I didn’t get around to viewing the next episode of Super Friends. So, instead I will share with you a collection I’ve been compiling. The Super Friends, and, really, all Hanna-Barbera characters, loooove to point in the air. Not at things, at thoughts. Whenever anyone thinks of or remembers something, they point.

I’m still waiting for an Aquaman and Robin point, but I know it will happen or I’ve missed it, there’s no way they don’t exist. What does it say about Aquaman and Robin that their lack of pointing potentially correlates with their overall value as members of the Justice League? Discuss.

And now, “Pointing: A Study of the Genesis of Ideas and Memories in the World of The Super Friends.”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.

Season 1 – Episode 10: “The Ultra Beam”

Airdate was November 17, 1973.

Short Synopsis: Two guys (Hank and Ben) decide to “ruin all the gold in the country” and do so by flying around in a blue jet and making it worthless with a blue laser, somehow. They want to do this so people stop “wasting their time and energy acquiring gold.” They can turn gold into any other metal, somehow. And, this is all, of course, very misguided and not very thought out, leading to problems that the Super Friends somehow, miraculously, solve.

Unfortunately, this episode did not have nearly as much screwing around and too much excruciating detailed exposition by the narrator.

Super Friends is Highly Technical
“Weird blue beam of light.” – The scientific description for how Hank and Ben extract gold.

And how do you stop a weird blue beam of light? With a “heat barrier” squirted out from Wonder Woman’s plane. Duh.

Seismographic Bureau
If you learn anything from Super Friends, you’ll learn about the more obscure non-existent government agencies. The Seismographic Bureau’s headquarters look pretty much like you’d imagine it.

WTF Screenshots (Mostly brought to you by the animators this week)
The villain’s sidekick gets around on bouncy moon-boots – because he’s short, according to him.

Marvin, you have something on your face.

Breaker one, this is Fatman, got your ears on, good buddy?

Robin was originally slated to star in Back to the Future

Here’s Batman, who has either had one of his arms amputated, or is picking a wedgie, which, considering the outfit he wears, is entirely possible.

Superman goes to some other imaginary institute and borrows a giant mirror from some sort of 1970s troll.

There’s gold in them there underwater caverns and they’re already in convenient bar shape.
Did you know there is a vast reservoir of gold bars under water? Well, there is. They’re there for safe keeping so Aquaman has something to do. Kind of like when you give a toddler a video game controller with no batteries in it.

Shut up, Batman.
“Hello, blue jet projecting blue beams, come in, please, this is Batman.” – Batman on his CB radio.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.