Season 1 – Episode 15: “The Planet-Splitter”
Airdate was December 15th, 1973
Short Synopsis – Jewels is disappearin’! It’s only diamonds over 100 karats, and they’ve narrowed the list down to 4 other jewels in danger of being stolen. A guy named Dr. LaBond and his assistant Wilbur need the diamonds to “derive” their “special powers” to make his planet-splitter work.
The Super Friends decide to track the last three diamonds with a “micro dot.”
This was a pretty awful episode. Most of it was driving and flying around, the (very poorly told) story of Superman’s origins, and Wendy and Marvin arguing with the villain to just please drop them off in any American city after they get stuck on his space ship.
Wendy and Marvin’s Parents are Idiots
Superman flies away and abandons Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog at the circus (they went there to protect a giant diamond, which if you know anything about Super Friends, you know it was still stolen anyway). Robin finally mentions that he hasn’t seen them around in a while, and Superman assures him that he totally left them to fend for themselves and he’s sure they’re having a wonderful time.
Wendy and Marvin become the grandpa from The Princess Bride
While on the space ship with Dr. Labond and Wilbur, Wilbur asks Wendy and Marvin to tell him the story of Superman. Dr. LaBond says it will be a long ride home, so go ahead. We then spend about a third of the damn episode in a flashback, watching Superman’s dad argue with a bunch of bureaucrats about what to do to save the people of their planet.
Then, we see baby Superman scaring earthly bureaucrats, making them pawn him off on the Kents because they don’t want to be responsible for him. Which, when you think about it, is pretty terrible.
Superman makes sure no one is left out and also that that the villain almost ruins two planets.
Superman, Batman, and Robin all arrive at the hidden lair after tracking one of the “microdotted” diamonds. Robin ask if they should go in, you know, because it’s an emergency, and Superman says, “Wonder Woman and Aquaman are just arriving, we’ll wait for them.”
“If Superman’s your idol, then you better not break up a planet. He won’t like it.” – Wendy
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, the first season is available on DVD.