I may not be able to use pillows anymore.

At the drug store the other day, this caught my eye:

My Pillow Mustache


“I HAVE seen that on TV,” I thought to myself – that box was totally right! Looking at the list of wonderful things about the My Pillow:

  • Anti-microbial
  • Dust mite resistant
  • Built-in cooling effects (whatever the hell that means)

The list was long and impressive. But, I can’t purchase this pillow, and here’s why:

My Pillow Mustache Problem


I just think a grown man with a mustache shouldn’t be lovingly cuddling a pillow on the box. This seems very obvious to me, like marketing 101: “no one with a mustache should be affectionate with the product on the packaging.” I’ve never taken a marketing class, but isn’t that the first or AT MOST the third thing they tell you?

And then I couldn’t stop thinking about how much this man loved this pillow, and then I started to worry about what would happen if they had a baby together, and now this haunts my nightmares:

Mustache Pillow Baby


And now I’m not sure I can even have any pillows anymore.


P.S. I’ve had to send my stupid brand new laptop off to be fixed so there won’t be a Super Friends this week for those of you who read them.

29 thoughts on “I may not be able to use pillows anymore.”

  1. In the stationery/party industry, moustaches are EVERYWHERE. I even had to write a stupid feature story about them and they freak me the heck out. So creepy.

  2. Sad about the super friends, but this was hilarious all the same. And pretty true; creepy pedo mustache is not really a great selling campaign.

    Kind of reminds me of the Netti-pot adverts from a while back. Additional rule with the mustache – a non-emotive lady with a bizarrely unisex hair-cut is not allowed to demo your product on the commercial. People will think she’s the start of the robot overlord race. (just in case we’re not on the same page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9i6x6uGm2k)

  3. I can hear this guy calling this product by name in my head. “My peeeeellow!” It’s the “my” that’s off-putting. Also that I apparently make up voices for people in advertisements.

    How does this cooling technology work? Is the pillow coated in Bengay or Icy Hot or something? Is there a little fan in there? I’m perplexed.

  4. I immediately spotted the trouble area… but I’m with Christian on Ron Swanson. He’s the only man who could pull it off.

    But he would never be caught cuddling a pillow, unless it was filled with meat.

  5. Yetserday I stopped in a wal-mart for soemthing and walked by that bin that has the $3 pillows. we could use a couple of new ones but, like you, I’d seen this ad and wondered “these pillows may have dust mites or hiding moustaches.

    wait, how do you feel about beards. Your boy here has a beard…and not the Katie Holmes kind.

  6. OK, I agree this dude is creepy, HOWEVER, it’s not only the hairy lip that’s troubling, but there is something seriously off-putting with the eyebrows. Almost Jack Nicholson-esque. And I’m wondering, what if it were Tom Selleck on the front? Just sayin’…….

  7. I can deal with the mustache if I have to. What I can’t deal with is the $59.99 price tag for the pillow. For $59.99, that pillow damn well better cook my breakfast for me.

  8. Actually, I’m pretty sure that man and his pillow DID have a baby together. And based on this old pic I found of my mother, I’m pretty sure it’s my dad. -http://static.neatorama.com/images/2011-09/portrait-pillow.jpg

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *