It’s amazing how one little thought, idea, or action could have seriously shortened some of my favorite movies and solved most of the characters’ problems. Examples:
It’s amazing how one little thought, idea, or action could have seriously shortened some of my favorite movies and solved most of the characters’ problems. Examples:
War Games – “maybe I should get out of the house and play sports or something”
Thelma & Louise – “hey, we should get divorced and avoid truckstop dudes”
The Godfather – “Dad, I’ve got an education, a nice wife, and I hate guns. No thanks, you keep the family business of crime and killing people.”
Yes, yes, and yes! I particularly like the War Games one.
Nice compilation! My addition: Any Woody Allen movie in which he is the romantic lead: “Gross! That dude looks like Woody Allen.”
Very good point – particularly considering his relationships rarely last the whole movie. “He looks like Woody Allen, and it won’t last, anyway.”
ET – “nah, it’s probably just a stray in the yard.”
The Sixth Sense – “Dude, you’re dead. Move on already.”
Any James Bond movie:
Bond: “What is the plan before you kill me?”
Villain: Shoots Bond multiple times w/ .45
And if Bond would focus a little more on actual investigation and less on how he likes his drinks made and the ladies, he’d save a lot of time, too.
Every horror movie ever: “Let’s get the fuck out of here and never return.”
Yes, “Let’s NOT check it out.”
I hear a strange noise upstairs. Let’s get out of here and call the police.
And let’s leave TOGETHER, no splitting up.
Leash – hee hee! You crack me up.
Thanks! And, I’ve not seen Wicked, but I’ve always thought Glenda was a bitch.
The Wizard of Oz one is genius! (and is just the responsible pet-owner thing to do)
I think it’s a good public service announcement: “Put your dog on a leash or almost die in a tornado.”
Alice in Wonderland: Just ignore the rabbit, you’re dreaming.
Just assume he’s a hallucination caused by boredom.
Hangover & Hangover II: Hey, let’s not invite Alan to the bachelor party/wedding, ok? Cool.
Monsters vs. Aliens: Run TOWARDS the church.
Titanic: LOSE the poker game!
Madagascar: Don’t go into the city, zebra.
Ha! For The Hangover, I also thought “Let’s not be douches, just for one day.”
Jaws: “I think we need a bigger boat. …. no SERIOUSLY, turn this piece of shit around and I’m going to get A BIGGER BOAT!”
Fuck that tiny boat. There will be NO SWIMMING. Period.
HA! I was thinking about one for JAWS and all I could think was “it’s too chilly to go skinny dippng.” The bigger boat would definitely help the main characters.
This is great. I love “Oz.” Dorothy also could have just kept her lazy ass in bed.
Anyway, Fight Club. “Let’s go get a beer instead.” Done.
Or buy a punching bag.
These are great. My fav is the Alien one.
“Umm… I really like blueberries so I’m going to go ahead and pick the blue pill. Thanks.” – Neo from The Matrix
“Blue is for boys, I’m a boy.” – Neo
You funny monkey butt! The 28 Days Later one is my favorite.
Bwah! Monkey butt.
Casablanca – “IIsa, you’re a manipulative whore. Get out of my bar.”
Field of Dreams – “Honey, i need to make an appointment with a therapist. The corn’s talking to me. I have daddy issues.”
Showgirls – “oh hells bells, we all have daddy issues”
Field of Dreams – I’m going to see a therapist so Carrie doesn’t have to be bored for two hours.
That. Was a Great. Movie.
Just sayin…
Well, I do recognize that perhaps it 1. wasn’t made for angsty teenage girls and 2. perhaps I would like it if I watched it again.
What if Patrick Swayze had just gone into the light at the beginning of Ghost?
Love this post!
Or if they just decided to stay in and make more pottery.