Hoooo, boy. I’m suffering from a serious bout of “writer’s block.” I put that in quotations because I think it’s kind of silly to say that I can’t think of something like how a pillow with a mustache scares me to write about is actual writer’s block. I have Stupid Observation Worth Coming Up With Accompanying Dumb Words and Images Block.
So, while I suffer from the lack of things to point and laugh at, I guess I’ll fill you in on what I’ve been up to as a living human being.
THE BIG NEWS
On Monday, I was outside with my adorable 4 year old niece. She was on her scooter, having a good time. She reached a spot in the middle of the road that caught her eye. She called me over, “CARRIE! Come here! Come look at this! I want you to see something!”
Awww, I thought to myself, she must have found a caterpillar or a penny. It’s so sweet that she wants to share these little moments with me. I jogged up to the spot she was pointing at, and looked down. I didn’t really see anything.
“That’s where I threw up.”
It wasn’t where she had just thrown up, it was where she had thrown up some time in the past. I’m guessing there’s not a historical marker up yet because of the typical snails pace of the government.
THE SLIGHTLY LESS BIG NEWS BECAUSE NOTHING CAN TOP A THROW UP SPOT
We bought a house! And in even more amazing news: it’s within walking distance of the throw up spot!
It’s been a little crazy. It’s supposed to be a buyer’s market but there was another offer so we had to compete and negotiate and such. Tom said it kind of felt like the negotiation scene in Bad Santa (R.I.P. Bernie Mac and also there’s a lot of cursing):
It was stressful but worth it, I hope. We’ve been trying to sell our Atlanta house and move back up to N.C. for over four years, and I’m hoping as we settle in and I unpack boxes of things I haven’t seen in nearly half a decade – there will be at least one motherloving thing to write about in them. That’s what I’m hanging my hopes on these days.
Anyway, it’s a nice house, and we think we’ll be able to have a home theater, which is awesome.
And to be able to walk to that throw up spot and see it whenever we please? What a dream come true.
Any big news you’d like to share here in my comment section for some reason?
I’m so jealous! When I got my house I looked and looked for a spot overlooking a throwup spot and in the end had to settle for a partial view of a snot bubble stain. Congrats!
Thanks. But a snot bubble stain is nothing to sneeze at.
Yay for a new house!! Congrats, Carrie. No more living with your parents. Now THAT’S cause for celebration.
And can you give me the address for this throw up spot? I’m trying to organize an educational field trip for my kids, and feel this one spot is fraught with historical significance of which there will be no equal.
Yes, I’ll have it to you in time for your educational tour.
Hurray for a new house! You guys must be so excited!
And also, I love Bad Santa – not sure what that says about me as a person, but whatever.
I love Bad Santa, too. I think it’s a great movie.
Congrats on joining the ranks of the home owners and mortgages that will probably outlive them! Anyway, in all seriousness, congrats. Not everyone can find such an ideal location within proximity of upchuck utopia among those who revel the retching.
I know, I kind of feel bad for the people who now have to wait for a prime property in such close proximity to the throw up spot.
Congratulations! The block will pass, but then you’ll be too busy to write about it. Or at least that’s what always happens to me.
My most recent accomplishment is surviving a horrible bout of bronchitis. Legendary, I tell you. Death-defying. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Still not as cool as buying the house by the puke stain though. Super jealous of that.
Glad you feel better. Bronchitis is a bitch.
Gosh I think every bush around my house in college was a throw up spot, who knew the significance! I should buy it and turn into a museum.
It’s nice because you’d own something of historical significance but then there’d be all the rules about what you could and couldn’t do with the bushes.
I’ve also been known to point out past Regurgitation Locations© to friends.
Granted, it’s usually because I’m drunk. At the bar. And trying to pin it on them.
Congrats on the house! Let me know when the housewarming party is. I’ll bring mah bitches!
Congrats on the nice house!
I can’t wait for you to unpack the 50s ceramics.