Author: Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep4B – “Drag Race”

Season 2, Episode 4, Storyline B – “Drag Race”

Original Airdate: October 3, 1977

Safety Segment

Batman and Robin are in their batjet and they notice a skateboarder rolling down a steep hill. They must have been flying pretty low to the ground. – isn’t that unsafe?

This young man has lost control and ended up in the middle of the street. Oh no! Who’s going to save him? Batman tells Robin to quickly get the “batrope,” and then, they drive up IN THE BATMOBILE and save him.

Short Synopsis: “As another day of study ends at Central High School.” – Narrator

As another day of study ends at Central High School, what, Narrator? He must have drifted off to sleep, that sweet, drunk old man.


We are introduced to Gary and his friends. Gary has a fast car that “will beat any car around.” Lo and behold, just when Gary is bragging about his wheels, another car that makes those sounds that fast cars make that also sound like they’re about to break down, rolls up.

“Think you can take me?” Gary says in that tone, you all know what I’m talking about. If you’ve seen Grease, you know what I mean.

“We’ll see at this Saturday’s Drag Meet,” says the unnamed guy. I didn’t know there were drag “meets,” like track and field or swimming. I don’t know anything about cars or racing, so it could either be my ignorance or Super Friends just making things up. Each are equally possible.

Gary, You Rebel!
Gary doesn’t want to wait until Saturday’s Drag Meet, he wants to have his own “unofficial drag meet right here.”

Say what? I would never drag race unless the results would be officially recognized by the NDMA – National Drag Meet Association (I made that up). I wouldn’t want to miss out in the annual “Drag Racers We Lost This Year” montage if I were to die in the unofficial race. The NDMA is very serious about that kind of stuff.

Then, the naysayer friend with an ascot butts in and informs them that “drag racing is against the law, AND you could get killed.” Ascot Doug, who does not look like a teenager:

It’s hard to take people seriously when they wear an ascot. The only exception is Michael Corleone – if he tells you not to drag race, don’t do it.

Gary doesn’t listen to Ascot Doug, and they decide to race anyway

WTF Screenshot
Did Gary just get rescued from a deserted island? The ragged cut-offs and missing shoes seem to suggest that. What an amazing attention to detail the writers and animators give to the back story of these characters.

Ascot Doug is a Snitch

How loud is a yelling bucket of water?
Zan and Jayna arrive after the race has already started, of course. They fly over the noisily racing cars and yell at them to stop. You know what may have worked? The sight of an eagle carrying a monkey with a yelling bucket of water, but they were above the cars and couldn’t be seen.

Gary’s car ends up in that classic bind – teetering over the edge of a canyon.

Zan and Jayna turn into an elephant and an “ice bridge.” Instead of just making the ice bridge right below the car, Zan lines himself up to the right of it. The passengers get out safely, but the car plummets into the “excavation site.” I’m sure this was solely done so that a lesson could be taught.

“Somehow winning the race wasn’t worth it, especially after losing my car.” – A humbled Gary, who still felt he needed to point out that he won the race.

De-Coder, Part One
Oh, boy, it’s Aquaman. He seems to be trespassing in a local swimming pool, here to give us the first part of the secret word.


“I’m just checking the swimming lines for the Super Friends Swim Event.”

Is this what they’ve come to? Creating swimming events for Aquaman to win just so he feels good about himself?


He says the first clue is one of the last two words in this sign. For those of us who can’t read, he even announces that it’s either “meet” or “today.” That’s not a clue, dude, that’s giving us a 50% chance at guessing. Aquaman can’t do anything right.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

The Thing You Find When Packing Pt. 3

During my senior year of college, I decided that Tom and I should make a customized game of Trivial Pursuit. We would use the board and the pie pieces from the regular game, but would write questions of our own.

Being that it was my idea and I was still in school, and, thus, since I was a bad student, had lots of time on my hands, I got my questions written. Tom, who had a job and I’m not sure even agreed to the idea, never wrote his.

And, so, these set of questions, which are in and of themselves a kind of time capsule, have traveled with us on our many moves. I find these things every time we move, and every time, I get farther away from the knowledge, both personal and trivial, I held in my mind when I wrote them.

I’m not 100% sure what the categories are, my best guess is: W (no clue, maybe Wildcard), MP (Motion Pictures), CT (Carrie and Tom), S (Stories – the TV shows we watched), F (Friends and Family), R (Random – basically my opinions). Here are some example questions and answers:

Q: According to the man on The Learning Channel, what is bigfoot NOT like?
A: Hollywood Neanderthals

Q: Where did I give you the heart attack punch?*
A: At the Main Street intersection on the way to El Rodeo’s

Q: What lie did my sister once tell her teacher about me?
A: That I was hearing impaired.

Q: What does it mean if it’s green?**
A: You have a sinus infection.

Q: Who deserves an Oscar more, Glenn Close or Morgan Freeman?
A: Morgan Freeman (he has since won an Oscar – I was right!)

Q: When do you know it’s about to stop snowing? ***
A: When the flakes get bigger.

And now, they will be packed away again, so that the next time they are found, I better be A. fucking 30 years older or B. dead, and my children and/or nieces and nephews are going through my stuff, cursing me for keeping crap like this. Sorry, future grown children.

*Tom made some joke at my expense that was worthy of being punched, and I punched him kind of up under the ribs and he had to take a moment because his heart hurt. I’ve yet to be able to re-create it.

**”It” is snot. This is something my mom taught me. She is not a doctor.

***As far as I can tell, this is an urban legend that began and ended in the cul-de-sac I grew up on. If anyone else held the belief that when the flakes get big and fat, it will stop snowing, please let me know.

 

The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep4A – “Doctor Fright”

Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline A – “Doctor Fright”

Original Airdate: October 1, 1977

Short Synopsis: “A warm summer night falls on Metropolis, but, unknown to the citizens below, a strange visitor is headed their way.” – Narrator

This strange visitor rides around in a purple blimp with henchmen dressed as sailors.

Doctor Fright is his name, and fear is his game. Fear in the form of gas his blimp releases, which causes everyone to panic.

Doctor Fright is not what you’d imagine he’d look like. He looks to me a lot like Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes, with a little bit of Inspector Gadget thrown in.

The Super Friends are told of this dastardly deed, and Superman and Wonder Woman are dispatched to try and help.

You know, if you’re going to basically have a villain with the same M.O. as Batman’s Scarecrow, why not just have it be Scarecrow? While I know it wouldn’t have allowed me to mention the name Benedict Cumberbatch, which is one of my most favorite names, I don’t see how that would have had any bearing in the 1970s when this episode was being made. So weird.

For a man named after it, you don’t seem to understand the concept of fear.
Doctor Fright is making everyone afraid of everything because he thinks when people are afraid, they won’t commit crimes. “Total peace on earth,” he exclaims to himself.

I know I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life, but even the brutal beatings I’ve seen bees and spiders take at the hands of screaming people has shown me that terrible things can happen when people are afraid.

WTF Screenshot
Superman thinks he can pick up the location of the blimp with his super hearing. He seems quite surprised that it worked.

I always think they can’t top themselves, and then they do.
You know, sometimes, I sit here, watching this ridiculous show, and I think, maybe I could be doing more with my time. Maybe I could help people, or plant a tree, or volunteer more. But, then, while I ponder my life choices, Superman gets sprayed with fear gas, and becomes a quivering blob of wimp because he’s afraid of a house cat.

And my faith is restored.

Superman no longer has any chance with Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman comes to Superman’s aid:

And then, she has to climb a ladder with him hanging on her back because he’s afraid of heights.

Then, they go to the Metropolis Science Institute. Somehow, the scientist there knows exactly what the antidote is and gives it to Superman, who is just a mess after the ordeal of seeing a cat and climbing a ladder.

Then, he vaccinates them or something, so that they are no longer affected by the gas.

The Real Hero
Superman and Wonder Woman, freshly inoculated, show up at the blimp again. When Doctor Fright tries to spray them with the gas, again, this time it doesn’t work, and they turn the tables on him, even though that probably should have happened the first time too since they’re in a small enclosed space:

Wonder Woman climbs the Fear Gas thermos and dumps in some neutralizing pellets that the scientist gave her.

So, three cheers for the actual hero of this story, the nameless Metropolis Science Institute scientist!

P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

If anyone in this house snaps, it’s best if it’s me.

Online chat I just had with Tom, we were previously discussing him working from home (it helps if you know the plot of The Shining):

me:  I’m not right in the head and I haven’t had coworkers for a while

Tom:  I have been waiting for you to chase me and the dogs through the hedge maze. Swinging Elliott* at us.

me:  I don’t have the energy. I’m a boring insane person

Tom:  Ghosts constantly nagging you to kill us all. “Eh, maybe I’ll do it later.” There’s a post there somewhere.

me:  “You want them dead so bad, you do it.”

Tom:  On the other side, you wouldn’t survive if I flipped out, because you wouldn’t make the phone call to get Scatman Caruthers, and you wouldn’t want to run around outside.**

me:  That’s true. “Eh, I’d rather die than have to make a phone call.” That’s why telepathy is such a convenient power to have, you don’t have to pick up the phone. And, I would never make it back out of that maze.***

Tom:  Also true! So, the lesson is, you need to be the one to flip out, so we all survive.

me:  And what did I do when I flipped out last night?**** I went to bed early, then couldn’t get to sleep, and then we watched VEEP. Everybody lived.

*Elliott is our jerk of a cat.

**I’m allergic to outside and also have no tolerance for weather that isn’t between 55-74 degrees.

***I have no sense of direction.

****Moving causes several breakdowns on my part. We’re at the point where I’d like to just set fire to all of our belongings (but don’t because of the previously mentioned laziness). This is not a pleasant moving phase for anyone involved.

The Things You Find When Packing Pt. 2

Alternate title: I’m glad I’m not a teenager.

There’s an endless amount of reasons why I’m happy I’m no longer a teenager. While packing and rifling through stuff, we found two of those reasons in a box of papers.

The first is a treasured relic from the Art Department of the high school Tom and I went to:

This is a Bathroom Buck. It was given to students by a teacher named Mr. Downing, who wanted total control and had a lot of rules in his class, but had no air of authority whatsoever. He was openly mocked and I’m not sure if he either knew it and pretended otherwise, or if he just really didn’t pick up on it. I’m sure the Bathroom Buck was developed because one too many teens blatantly wandered away from his class. He taught photography, and for photography projects, we were really only allowed in the small area right outside the classroom, which was a huge concrete-covered area with railings and stairs. The number of photographs of sullen introspective teenagers sitting on or standing under stairs is probably in the thousands.

I know this is Tom’s Bathroom Buck, because I’m sure I used all of mine.  Notice that it says “void if presented at an inappropriate moment.” You see what I mean? Lots of rules with no air of authority.

As an adult who has grown accustomed to a certain level of being able to use the bathroom whenever she wants, the sight of this Bathroom Buck fills me with dread. While I’m sure plenty of high school students did plenty of bad and naughty stuff under the guise of a bathroom break, to teenagers like me, who actually had to use the bathroom, the constant outside control of my bladder was really nerve wracking.

This leads me to the second treasure. In the grand scheme of things, I was a pretty good teenager. I didn’t do drugs, didn’t drink, etc, probably 60% because I wasn’t interested and 40% because I was always grounded due to being a crappy student, which was my major teenager-y flaw. As I’ve written about before, my personality type is pretty straight-laced, so as far as getting into trouble, I wasn’t that bad. I was, however, moody (still am, unfortunately). Even girls who are Myers-Briggs Thinking (as opposed to Feeling) get the Teenage Mope. Here’s a picture of me at Christmas, I was probably 16 at the time:

This picture fills me with all sorts of feelings, but the the main one is hilarity, which I’m declaring a feeling for the purpose of this sentence. There I am, poor teenage Carrie, at my aunt and uncle’s house for Christmas, surrounded by family who love me after probably receiving a gift I asked for. And the thing that I really like about the whole thing is that I bet my dad took this picture because he thought it was funny. Why else would you take a picture of that pile of teenage self-pity?

When Tom found it, he held it up and said “awwwwww, look at sad Carrie.” And he did seem to genuinely feel bad for her. And a part of me does, too, because that Carrie really was sad at the time, but for the most part, it makes me laugh. This is why, if we develop time travel technology, I should never be allowed to visit my past selves.

Maybe she’s sad because she used all her Bathroom Bucks. And that’s how you tie together a blog post.