Tag: Pop Culture

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Super Friends S1 Ep14

Season 1 – Episode 14: “Gulliver’s Gigantic Goof”

Airdate was December 8, 1973.

Short Synopsis: Dr. Gulliver plans to shrink everyone in the world “down to an economical, convenient size” except for himself, and his cat, Igor. But animals and children aren’t affected by his miniaturizing ray because of the difference in metabolic rates. Please don’t ask any follow-ups about that, I’m only the messenger.

Yes! Villain with a Cat!

This is the Peter Lorre-like villain, required for every animated series ever.

Aquaman, Super Hero
Aquaman finally does something helpful, but it doesn’t involve being able to chat up dolphins and manta rays.

Only One More Point Before Total World Domination, or Something.
Robin points! Aquaman, I’m looking at you…

WTF Screenshots
Batman holds two itty bitty astronauts. I want one!

You can’t go tiny with out a matchbook – it’s the law.

I’m not sure what the hell is going on here.

You knew where this was going. It is the only logical conclusion.
Yes, ALL of the Super Friends are shrunk.

Wonder Woman flailing around in a bowl of milk.

If you ever needed more proof that the Super Friends are incompetent, then here:

Shut Up, Batman.
Batman and Robin have just been shrunk down to about 2 inches tall. This, they take in stride, but when Dr. Gulliver announces that they’ve arrived at his castle, Batman exclaims, “A CASTLE!? IN AMERICA?!”

Enter the Green Arrow.
Super Friends have fucked up so bad, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog have to come to their rescue. Who do they call? Green Arrow. Why? Because all the other super heroes are unreachable due to their participation in “a space mission, too far away for us to call.”

And guess what happens to him within a minute of showing up? Yep. And this is what’s in his glove compartment. Matchbook, spool of thread, coins and paper clips. It’s like he KNEW he was going to shrink.

Super Friends Speak the Truth.
“You’re no help to me bottled up like a bunch of pickles.” – Green Arrow

“But people don’t want to be two inches tall. Or one inch. Or whatever YOU’VE decided to make them.” – Superman

And now, a preview of the much anticipated “The Dark Knight Rises.”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.

Meet Kenbie, or Barben. Either name is fine with shim.

My sister and I had lots of Barbies. I got a Ken one year for Christmas. One Ken, with one outfit – black “leather” pants and a white and black cowboy shirt.

For awhile, Ken was the star of his very own Big Love show. He had his choice of the available ladies and he had his way with all of them, I’m sure. But, eventually, Ken broke (probably because of the strain put on his body by a half a dozen horny, busty, career women).

Personally, I would have always chosen a new Barbie over wasting a “gift spot” on another Ken. My sister must have felt the same way, because we never had another Ken. But, Barbie has needs. What’s a girl to do? There was no more Ken, but his one outfit remained.

Enter Kenbie – an old Barbie given a make-under manly haircut, dressed in Ken’s old outfit, and burdened with the task of being the new sheriff in town. She did a fine job until the outfit eventually disintegrated.

This is the outfit she was found wearing when I opened the old Barbie Doll trunk, a 20 year old time capsule.

 

After that, Kenbie was free to truly be shimself – living and keeping on keeping on, dressing in whatever clothes suited shim and courting, well, it was still just all Barbies to choose from, and eventually a Jem.

And, I’m proud to say that my other Barbies never hassled Kenbie for his/her lifestyle choices.

This post is brought to you by Staying at My Mom’s House. Staying at My Mom’s House gives you exclusive access to my old Barbie gender bending experiments.

Lite-Brite, Lite-Brite, Turn on the Magic of Disappointing Lights

Lite-Brite. I wanted a Lite-Brite so bad when I was a kid but never got one. You could turn on the magic of colored lights with it and my mom didn’t even care. She said she didn’t want to step on all the little lights and then clog the vacuum with them because I wouldn’t clean up after myself. Just because something is true doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get a Lite-Brite.

When we moved when I was 9, our new neighbors had a Lite-Brite. I wouldn’t call the turning on of colored lights “magic,” it was more of a “huh” experience. And, I distinctly remember all of us kids moving on to something else and not cleaning up the Lite Brite.

The Lite-Brite commercials were a miraculous acheivement in advertising:

This commercial is 30 seconds long. The amount of fun you can have with a Lite-Brite is 31 seconds. The euphoria you feel watching the commercial: the lights, “all the things you can do with it,” a birthday party… it all ends right before the crushing realization that this thing, this Lite Brite, is not the end all and be all of everything that is fun and wonderful. And, let’s quickly break down everything they do in this commercial:

– Couple of examples of the template pictures – a clown, a ballerina.
– “Here’s Suzy.” Suzy took the time to make a Lite-Brite sign before she dismembered her family with an ax.
– Two kids, EACH WITH THEIR OWN LITE-BRITE, the little richies, doing more templates
– A little boy makes a good night sign for his absentee father. He has plenty of time to do it because he’s so lonely.
– Someone made a “Happy Birthday” sign with it for some kid’s party. And whomever that poor kid is, they weren’t allowed to blow their own candles out by themselves.

None of these things seem like fun at all when you stop to think about them. It’s the colors and the quick editing. Somehow, they created a commercial that made one of the most boringest things ever (that doesn’t even come with it’s own light bulb and oh-my-god it’s just a fucking light bulb with a shoebox over it) seem like heroin, crack, and candy all rolled into one.

And here’s an older one, I love the lame, generic promise of being able to “make people, animals, things.”

So, my mom never had to vacuum up lite-brite pegs, and I still learned the valuable lesson of something not being as awesome as it seemed. But you know what WAS awesome, that I used over and over again, and loved to no end? Fashion Plates. I may have only worn jeans and t-shirts (still do), but I’ll cobble together an amazing look for a fashion plate. This ad is for versions newer than mine was, and the New Kids on the Block version is hilarious:

Anybody have a Lite-Brite and love it? What other toys crushed your soul after you realized they sucked?

Saturday Morning Ridiculousness – Making a Point

Due to a crummy week, I didn’t get around to viewing the next episode of Super Friends. So, instead I will share with you a collection I’ve been compiling. The Super Friends, and, really, all Hanna-Barbera characters, loooove to point in the air. Not at things, at thoughts. Whenever anyone thinks of or remembers something, they point.

I’m still waiting for an Aquaman and Robin point, but I know it will happen or I’ve missed it, there’s no way they don’t exist. What does it say about Aquaman and Robin that their lack of pointing potentially correlates with their overall value as members of the Justice League? Discuss.

And now, “Pointing: A Study of the Genesis of Ideas and Memories in the World of The Super Friends.”

If you would like to witness these shenanigans in all their glory, the first season of Super Friends is available on DVD.